Human Fear

Some thoughts about human development. Potential problems initially exist, for the unborn embryo, especially if the mother engaged in drug and alcohol behavior. Even if not, development is affected by the birth. Although Sigmund Freud criticized the details of Otto Rank’s ideas regarding the trauma of birth, Freud did, however, considered the birth trauma as a prototype for later anxieties. This first experience of severe threat, according to Freud could provide a pattern for subsequent reactions-the sudden flooding of the immature nervous system with sensory excitation and the prominence of motor discharge through the respiratory and cardiac systems as a fetus begins to breathe independently. And to rid itself by increased heart action of the toxic products accumulated in the bloodstream during birth. Freud thought that the later anxiety states typically involve a similar sense of being flooded by stimuli, difficulties breathing and rapid heartbeat. In other words, this first experience, creates an enduring pattern of reaction to danger. Similarly, Rank believed that the change from the all-encompassing effortless bliss and warmth and protection in the womb to the painful experiences of postnatal conditions was the basis in developing “mortal fear”- he called primal anxiety. In other words, as result of birth, we develop and a baseline for our first experience of anxiety and fear in the conditioning of that experience. So we start out life with a recipe set for anxiety or catastrophic danger.

Much later on in development within the prefrontal cortex is the further development of perception, language, thinking, and emotion.  Further, Freud wrote about the “ego ideal.” This theoretical concept has to do with the part of the personality that relates to the aims and goals of the self. This process-concept refers to a conscious or unconscious emulation of significant figures with whom the person has identified. These figures could be parents, teachers, presidents, sports figures, entertainers, movie stars, etc. This identification process begins at an early age and continues during the span of aging. It is not only the kids that collect baseball- football cards. Go to a book signing and have that football player sign your football playing card, your cap, your jersey, or your book. That autograph is important for that adult

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Or even, retrieve that piece of clothing from that rock star as he leaves the stage. One may even have, in their collection, a postcard with the signature of an ex-United States president or some other politician. Just go to a concert or watch a Jennifer Lopez TV special, and view all the screaming and adoring fans in the audience. Even the parade, of the Pope results in transformed adults on the sideline.   Our ego ideal hardly ever seems to rest as there are plenty of opportunities to yell, shout, scream, and express those emotions at the numerous and various venues available to all of us.

One important aspect of the ego ideal is the basis or foundation for its development. Don’t forget there already exists, either consciously or unconsciously mortal fear or anxiety. Potential anxiety is ready to express itself at any time. In addition to anxiety, a sense of insecurity, inferiority or some other deficit within ourselves is ready to be expressed. Alfred Adler coined the term the “inferiority complex.” This was a term Adler used to describe the uneasiness most of us feel in our individualistic and highly competitive society. Adler believed that heredity, such as a general bodily defects was associated with “Organ inferiority.” This significantly affects the development of personality as well. An example, is the famous Demosthenes, who became a great orator to compensate for his early speech impediment. And there are numerous examples of individuals who have overcome their organic anomalies.

Another insecurity to overcome relates to the school years. Erik H Erickson in his psychosocial model of man wrote about the stage of Industry versus Inferiority. Very early, in pre-and elementary school our place is established within the classroom. That pecking order is based on how we perceive ourselves relative to others in the classroom. Can we spell, know our numbers, ABC’s, perform arithmetic calculations and read as well as others? Some of our classmates seemed to know and perform flawlessly. We were aware, as well as our teacher. Teachers had a way of identifying and showing favoritism to those who were smarter and could answer those questions quickly. Maybe they were called “teacher’s pet.” Don’t forget that someone corrected those mistakes and did not allow them to pass unnoticed. The teacher knew, classmates knew and so did you when a mistake was made. The smart kids, the egg heads seemed to associate together. Yes, there was status within each classroom, year after year after year

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Those that don’t fare as well; those that don’t develop the tools and skills necessary for developing the necessary foundation  for work [deficits in the 3Rs-making things], have difficulty identifying in this technology arena and develop a sense of inadequacy and/or inferiority. These Individuals consider themselves mediocre and inadequate.

These deficits and perceived deficits without a perceived beautiful face, beautiful figure, and beautiful hair become apparent. Further, our social skills or lack of are also on exhibit. How we walk, how we talk and the color of our skin are also factors. In other words, each of us has potentially plenty of deficits to deal within the aging process. Thus primal anxiety and the need to improve or cover and mask our deficits are psychological issues that we face.

Our political leaders and advertisers also know about people psychology. What politician does not employ fear and is there to protect the public from harm? Just think of what is happened since 9/11. We have what’s called  Homeland  Security ; have been at war ever since; are combating terrorist groups; debating about Iran and the bomb; talk about Second Amendment rights, like bearing arms. We have the largest military and spend more for military than any other country. What president hopeful or what political party’s theme says they are going to protect you the best?

Our advertisers are more sophisticated when it comes to employing fear, anxiety, or taking care of those human deficits. That hair extension; facial cream; lipstick; diamond will help you get the man of your dreams. Of course, the latest dress, top, belt, shoes and handbags-the outfit makes the difference. And, if you drink the right beer, you will be there with that pretty woman. Just think of what a drug like Viagra will do for you?

Human Fear

All right, we all have anxiety and insecurities. It’s important to know thyself, and what pushes your buttons. The ego ideal emphasizes what one should be or do. However, hopefully, it doesn’t determine what one should not be or do. Making decisions with awareness, certainly helps. 

Jim Harbaugh's Ego Ideal

It is clear that our country has a problem with health. Of course, the political climate in this country has recently been focused on the Affordable Care Act. Perhaps, the recent Supreme Court decision will put that to rest. In fact, there are more and more health-weight clinics cropping up to combat the crisis of the overweight. And depending upon BMI index, certain medical costs are covered by a third-party payer. These health weight clinics prescribe drugs, counseling and provide dietary information. Prior to the addition of these medical clinics, there have been numerous popular diets put forth by doctors and promoted by celebrities with their testimonials. There are additional medical procedures also employed in dealing with obesity and overweight. We know the problem with diets. Individuals don’t keep on them. So initially, people lose weight and then regain their weight loss.

It’s common knowledge that diet alone is not necessarily a prescription for health because of the accompanying importance with some form of exercise. We have numerous physical health facilities, 24 hour fitness centers, cross fit plans, online programs, books, and the latest exercise equipment designed to turn an individual into a Mr. America, etc. Similarly, statistics tell the same story when it comes to exercise as it does with keeping on a diet-people do not stay the course.

A Freudian concept called the ego ideal might assist in explaining in part why many become defeated when it comes to their physical health and the many problems connected associated with being overweight. The Freudian model of man posits that early experiences and learning affect the psychological development of the individual. As a result, childhood experiences lay the foundation for what is to follow. So early history foreshadows later history and experience. We also know that there is a mind-body connection in that what we think and feel also affect diet and our mental and physical health behavior.

Early on the child develops crushes, invents heroes, and becomes attracted to objects outside of self. The favorite could be one’s parents, an older sibling, or a favorite family relative within the extended family. The model could be a special baseball, football, basketball or soccer player; a singer or music group; a movie star, or some other celebrity; a president; an astronaut; an Einstein like figure or even some comic book figure. These, as their can be more than one figure or figures become part of the conscious and/or unconscious workings of the mind. The individual may also seek out books, stories, trading cards, movies and other articles pertaining and correlating with the fantasy. The individual may likely play at a sport too. Individuals also daydream and have night dreams about their participation or their fantasy of being a star, just like their hero. A popular term like role model has been used. However, ego ideal is a much more theoretical concept and provides more depth in describing the identification with the older star, hero or heroine.

Thus, the child creates a standard of perfection and identifies with someone or something admired that he would like to be or like or become. The Freudian Psychological interpretation is that this is a universal process that develops with humans. This process proceeds because all individuals have inadequacies, imperfections and are not satisfied with some aspect of their physical and mental qualities let alone their position or station in life. For example, a young child would like to be prettier, better looking, taller, handsome, more popular, sweeter, or even stronger than they are in reality. Not only that, a child does not have all the tools, skills, experiences and abilities to compete and be like or similar to their heroes or heroine’s. What child doesn’t know his or her station in life, especially in dealing with his peers or even adults? However, the child can remove himself from reality and imagine in his mind and wish and even become like their hero. The child can be a hero in their daydreams and/or their dreams.

Well, what does an ego ideal have to do with diet, exercise, or health in later life? This is my guess. If for example, ones ego ideal as a child growing up was related to a sports figure, a health figure and/or a competitive person- activity, this would set the stage for later involvement in a similar or adjunct behavior such as in a career or participating in a sport or related hobby. The point is that if sports, exercise, health, or foods played a part in early formidable childhood experiences, than likely there would be some carry over to adulthood. If the individual liked, and played sports through childhood or adolescence, they would be more than likely to be open to and recognize the importance of exercise regarding their health. One would then expect to see them competing or playing sports, while aging through the lifecycle. On the contrary, if the individual was not athletic and didn’t do well, nor even like sports, then sports involvement or behavior while aging might prove more difficult to engage much later.

So current behavior is more than likely a product of previous thought, illusions, fantasy and imagery that took place during the formidable years. In my book “It Has Nothing to Do with Age” seven individuals were profiled while still competing in sports at the age of 65 and older. Every one of these individuals loved and participated in sports during their childhood. And, the nine men in “Bo’s Warriors-Bo Schembechler and the Transformation of Michigan Football” either had careers in sports, were passionate about sports , and  sports became paramount throughout  their lives. Yes, these nine loved sports in their childhood as well.

Remember your ego ideal and find the correlation with current behavior. Coach Jim Harbaugh loved sports as a kid and still loves sports. As a kid, he used to run around the Big House chasing footballs balls during Schembechler’s practices. Currently, you will find him throwing footballs at the Big House. 

The Power of the Ego Ideal

It is clear that our country has a problem with health. Of course, the political climate in this country has recently been focused on the Affordable Care Act. Perhaps, the recent Supreme Court decision will put that to rest. In fact, there are more and more health-weight clinics cropping up to combat the crisis of the overweight. And depending upon BMI index, certain medical costs are covered by a third-party payer. These health weight clinics prescribe drugs, counseling and provide dietary information. Prior to the addition of these medical clinics, there have been numerous popular diets put forth by doctors and promoted by celebrities with their testimonials. There are additional medical procedures also employed in dealing with obesity and overweight. We know the problem with diets. Individuals don’t keep on them. So initially, people lose weight and then regain their weight loss.

It’s common knowledge that diet alone is not necessarily a prescription for health because of the accompanying importance with some form of exercise. We have numerous physical health facilities, 24 hour fitness centers, cross fit plans, online programs, books, and the latest exercise equipment designed to turn an individual into a Mr. America, etc. Similarly, statistics tell the same story when it comes to exercise as it does with keeping on a diet-people do not stay the course.

A Freudian concept called the ego ideal might assist in explaining in part why many become defeated when it comes to their physical health and the many problems connected associated with being overweight. The Freudian model of man posits that early experiences and learning affect the psychological development of the individual. As a result, childhood experiences lay the foundation for what is to follow. So early history foreshadows later history and experience. We also know that there is a mind-body connection in that what we think and feel also affect diet and our mental and physical health behavior.

Early on the child develops crushes, invents heroes, and becomes attracted to objects outside of self. The favorite could be one’s parents, an older sibling, or a favorite family relative within the extended family. The model could be a special baseball, football, basketball or soccer player; a singer or music group; a movie star, or some other celebrity; a president; an astronaut; an Einstein like figure or even some comic book figure. These, as their can be more than one figure or figures become part of the conscious and/or unconscious workings of the mind. The individual may also seek out books, stories, trading cards, movies and other articles pertaining and correlating with the fantasy. The individual may likely play at a sport too. Individuals also daydream and have night dreams about their participation or their fantasy of being a star, just like their hero. A popular term like role model has been used. However, ego ideal is a much more theoretical concept and provides more depth in describing the identification with the older star, hero or heroine.

Thus, the child creates a standard of perfection and identifies with someone or something admired that he would like to be or like or become. The Freudian Psychological interpretation is that this is a universal process that develops with humans. This process proceeds because all individuals have inadequacies, imperfections and are not satisfied with some aspect of their physical and mental qualities let alone their position or station in life. For example, a young child would like to be prettier, better looking, taller, handsome, more popular, sweeter, or even stronger than they are in reality. Not only that, a child does not have all the tools, skills, experiences and abilities to compete and be like or similar to their heroes or heroine’s. What child doesn’t know his or her station in life, especially in dealing with his peers or even adults? However, the child can remove himself from reality and imagine in his mind and wish and even become like their hero. The child can be a hero in their daydreams and/or their dreams.

Well, what does an ego ideal have to do with diet, exercise, or health in later life? This is my guess. If for example, ones ego ideal as a child growing up was related to a sports figure, a health figure and/or a competitive person- activity, this would set the stage for later involvement in a similar or adjunct behavior such as in a career or participating in a sport or related hobby. The point is that if sports, exercise, health, or foods played a part in early formidable childhood experiences, than likely there would be some carry over to adulthood. If the individual liked, and played sports through childhood or adolescence, they would be more than likely to be open to and recognize the importance of exercise regarding their health. One would then expect to see them competing or playing sports, while aging through the lifecycle. On the contrary, if the individual was not athletic and didn’t do well, nor even like sports, then sports involvement or behavior while aging might prove more difficult to engage much later.

So current behavior is more than likely a product of previous thought, illusions, fantasy and imagery that took place during the formidable years. In my book “It Has Nothing to Do with Age” seven individuals were profiled while still competing in sports at the age of 65 and older. Every one of these individuals loved and participated in sports during their childhood. And, the nine men in “Bo’s Warriors-Bo Schembechler and the Transformation of Michigan Football” either had careers in sports, were passionate about sports , and  sports became paramount throughout  their lives. Yes, these nine loved sports in their childhood as well.

Remember your ego ideal and find the correlation with current behavior. Coach Jim Harbaugh loved sports as a kid and still loves sports. As a kid, he used to run around the Big House chasing footballs balls during Schembechler’s practices. Currently, you will find him throwing footballs at the Big House. 

What Does Love Have To Do With It

I recently posted an article from The That New York Times that had to do with a study measuring the frequency of sex in relation to enthusiasm, energy and well-being. Having given more thought inspired me to make a few more comments. As you may know, Sigmund Freud and his model, employed sexual instincts. He believed that there may body areas capable of producing stimulation and that each is a potential source of instinctual energy. However, he reduced instincts into two fundamental groups-the life and the death instincts. Life instincts are about reproduction in life maintenance and he identified sexual instincts as being a major component in his theory; but sexual instincts are related to those [bodily areas] which are pleasurable. His definition of sexual instincts is much greater than simply intercourse alone .And, further Freud also identified psychopathology issues related to the sex instinct. And it’s safe to say, his hydraulic model of tension-reduction [the libido] is the centerpiece of the psychic energy in his psychoanalytic-science of the mind model of man.

Researchers, Masters and Johnson, a number of years ago, studied, in the laboratory, sex and sexual response. They identified the human sexual response cycle as-excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. They believed that a partner can initiate sex for reasons aside from excitement, arousal, and that may precede desire.

So in the current research study, the investigators hypothesized that more sex would be equated with being more happy, having more enthusiasm and more energy thus greater well-being. First of all, they hypothesized that more intercourse would lead to a better emotional state, along with a more physical energy. We know that thinking and emotions are related. And that one’s emotional state is brought into any situation, especially having to do with intercourse. This means that our emotional makeup affects how we think, as well as our behavior, especially with other people. For instance, if the partners fully enjoyed having sex with each other, then it is likely by having more sex their expectations would be very different from those that only had sex about  once per week. I’ll bet if we were employing sexual expectations as an intervening variable, we would have different and more positive results. Further, these researchers used a questionnaire to measure so-called mood and behavior. Remember, those individuals that had sex once per week qualified for the study. Perhaps, keeping track of sex relations on a weekly basis is likely a sign of discontent. All in all, did the measuring tool, in the study, effectively evaluate mood and/or physical state? In other words, was this instrument valid, as well as reliable?

We also know the following: 1. That the time between intercourse and filling out a questionnaire is critical, especially if both partners like each other; are mutually agreeable about having sex and want to please each other [with or without orgasm]; do not have either  mental , and/or physical distractions. Further, what meaning and importance does each person have about sex in their relationship-frequency or number of times and what mental, emotional state are they bringing psychologically to their partner before, during and after the sexual encounter? 2. We know the act of sex is a physiological response. Can it be tension reducing as well as tension inducing between the two people? Yes, individuals can have sex without love. 3. After sex and orgasm, depending upon age, relationship length, environmental conditions, alcohol, and or drugs, when individuals feel safe, tired, relaxed and an absence of tension are intervening variables. If someone is filling out a questionnaire at that time, their responses will likely be very different than 12 hours later. Feelings, mood and psychological states can rapidly change and do rapidly change over time. So the time, in which a questionnaire is administered is critical. Likely, even though the researchers think they were measuring mood, they were likely measuring thoughts and/or attitude about their partner as well as themselves. We know that, individuals distort their own reality in various ways. The idea of defense mechanisms illustrate that point. Further, individuals have great difficulty identifying feelings and often use the word “I feel,” in a sentence, but in error. They think they’re talking about their feelings when there really illustrating their thoughts. Even basic emotions such as anger, disgust, fear, sadness and joy are difficult for people to admit, let alone label correctly.

I’m really not sure what these researchers measured and likely they mixed up mood and physical energy even though they called it by such names as happy, enjoyable, enthusiasm, well-being and energy. What was perfectly clear from the study was that only 40% or 12 of the 32 couples actually increased the frequency of sex over a 90 day period. And that a number of couples didn’t like deviating from their sexual routine and said that more was not better, but worse. I certainly would like to interview those couples to hear more of the story.

Neither Freud nor Masters and Johnson have told the entire sex story, but they certainly provided a super start and terrific framework. Remember, one can have sex without love, as well as love without sex-that’s another story. To be fair, I did not read the original study In the Journal of Economic Behavior and Organization, and perhaps some of these criticisms were addressed.

Is More Sex Better?

A recent study published in the Journal of Economic Behavior and Organization recruited 64 adult heterosexual married couples. The subjects were asked how often they had sex, how enjoyable it was and how happy they were in general, attempting to measure mood and energy. 32 of these couples were picked randomly and asked to double the frequency of their sexual relations.  If they had sex once a month, make it twice; couples who had sex three times a week were told to go to six. The sample ranged in frequency of sex from at least once a month to a maximum of three times a week. The other 32 were told to go about their lives as usual.

The lucky group completed a short daily online questionnaire that measured the quality of their sex the previous day and their subsequent moods. This particular study lasted about three months. The researchers discovered that some in this group did manage to double their rate of intercourse. On average there was a 40% increase in sexual relations.

Before sharing the results, a few comments are in order. 1. Any conclusions to the study are related to these 32 couples. These couples were not randomly selected from the entire universe of the heterosexual married. The findings are certainly suspect. 2. Although the article in the June 28, 2015 edition of The New York Times did not describe the character of these 32 couples, maybe the original research did. However, what were the personality characteristics of these individuals? What was the meaning of sex for these individuals within their entire life space-their personal lives, their relationship, their marriage? Freud, in his model, talked about the release of sexual tension-pleasure. For these couples, were there other reasons for having sex other than the release of sexual tension? Are we talking about intercourse and/or ejaculation or what? What about the political, economic and social conditions for each individual couple? What about procreation as a variable? 3. There are many reasons for the frequency of intercourse? Certainly the couples that had sex once a month versus the couples that had sex three times a week were different. I’d be interested in knowing about their sexual differences. 4. In this particular experiment there was only a 40% increase in sexual relations. I’d like to know the why behind that figure. 5. These researchers employed an online questionnaire. More interesting and more valuable, insightful results would have been established from an in depth interviewing process.

Findings of the study found that additional sex did not make these people state more well-being in measures of energy and enthusiasm. Some reported that more intercourse wasn’t much fun. There’s mention as to the quality of sex, but it wasn’t explained.

In a 2004 study with 16,000 adults, people said that increasing the frequency of intercourse from once a month to once a week increased their happiness to the likelihood of having an additional $50,000 in the bank. What if these individuals were involved passionate work environments. How much would that be worth in a bank?

These studies apparently were concerned about numbers and/or statistics. In the more recent study, intercourse frequency were just a snapshot within a 90 day segment pertaining to these 32 heterosexual couples. What if 32 married homosexual couples, or 32 unmarried couples were measured? How different would the results be? As we know, love, tenderness and mutuality of respect are important components within any relationship where the expression of sex is associated. And sex just doesn’t mean intercourse. An abundance of sex as opposed to compulsive sex is pleasurable, especially under the right conditions. The mood, energy and alone time of the couples play and important part within any relationship. Maybe, just maybe, the study was really an indictment about the state of marriage in our country. Don’t forget that married US households were 72.2% in 1960 and in 2012 and that number decreased to 50.5%. Yes, we have falling marriage rates in the United States.

Finding Happiness

In the June 14, 2015 edition of The New York Times had to do with finding or acknowledging life’s meaning. The writer talked about putting his 4 children through high school and then reflecting on the current economic circumstances. He went further, and suggested that the founding fathers idea of happiness as an inalienable rights seemed correct. He thought that often people go about seeking happiness in the wrong way, but that doesn’t distract them from their sincerity. This quandary took place within a college commencement presentation.

  Roger Cohen commented on Malcolm Gladwell’s “10,000 hour rule”- the notion that this is the time required for the acquisition of perfected expertise in a particular field -and that in today’s get it now society, grind is underappreciated. The writer thought that duty was more than likely related to happiness. He also thought that life was not always revelatory. He included by saying if you want to be happy mow the lawn; collect the dead leaves; paint the room, do the dishes or get a job. Make sure to persist and endure, day after day.  Money, fame, peer pressure, parental expectations, are simply distractions and may get in the way and not solve the happiness problem. He quoted Rilke’s notion that companionship is a strengthening of two neighboring solitudes-you have to solve the conundrum of your solitude .Cohen was also not convinced that the notion of living your dream solves the problem either. He illustrated the punishment that was handed out to the Greek mythical figure Sisyphus, by the gods-he was with the task of pushing a boulder up the hill and repeating the task through all eternity. Remember the large stone rolled down again and again. Could this arduous task be reframed and looked at not as being a source of despair but maybe the beginning of happiness, he questioned?

Roger Cohen quoted a passage from Albert Camus’s book “The Plague.” Bernard the doctor at the center of the novel, battles pestilence, day after day. And that the whole thing is not about heroism, but about decency and that the only way to fight the plague is with decency. Cohen concluded with the notion that decency consists of doing his job and that he didn’t think he had any taste for heroism or sainthood. He just wanted to be a man, and concluded it’s in the everyday task at hand were happiness lurks.

I agree that many are looking for happiness, and likely don’t know where to find it. Likely, it is idiosyncratic in nature and everyone might have their own definition. But I’ll wager that many believe they’re on their way to happiness but they are simply deceiving themselves and live an illusionary life. I just received a phone call from a friend that I met, but 18 years ago, in a Ride and Tie competition. At that time he was 34 years of age and involved in the business world, making money for him and his new family. He got involved in real estate, land acquisition, while the market was great. He built an energy-efficient straw bale home and was exploring his self in a variety of ways. He threw great parties and was still searching through the use of drugs and non-drugs alike.

The market crashed, my dear friend  became depressed and went through a psychological crisis. Coming out of that, he started downsizing and became involved in a superfood retail business. During the years, he traveled all over the world and presented his kids with unusual experiences. Homeschooling with this family was not traditional in any way.

Jerome  is now 52 years of age and still evolving. One might say that he has been pushing that rock up the hill over and over again, or that he has not put in his 10,000 hours as of yet. He certainly is not mowing the lawn and finding happiness that way. However, he is connected to his wife and family and can be characterized as being a decent, loving human being. Has he found happiness, maybe, or maybe not?

Perhaps, happiness is not an inalienable right per the framers of the Constitution. Maybe the key to life relates to “Know Thyself.” The more self-awareness of conscious and unconscious motivations might be the tool for navigating one’s life space. It’s important to see reality and not get caught up in the illusions, distractions of an industrial society that’s so economically driven. There are certainly many illusions, as well as distractions that go on day-to-day. We are given and fed so much meaningless and trite information. Just watch a news program where they show you a picture, and then get a so-called “expert” to tell you what’s in the picture. It’s important to use your own brain and figure as many things out for yourself as you can.

Lifespan is about many things, and developmental stages present different challenges and tasks. For me, know thyself is a beginning step. Additionally, making decisions, having and achieving goals, making mistakes are an important part of the life process. I believe my aunt Eva was correct when she said something to the effect “when you have your health, you have it all.” My goals and decision making are related to my philosophy. I pursue health as opposed to the pursuit of happiness. Find your step, you’ll know the way. 

Goldilocks and the Three Bears

I remember, from childhood, the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Looking more closely at this fable, certain things are clear. First, the three Bears take on anthropomorphic or human qualities within a nuclear family. This means that there’s a distortion of reality, and we are now talking about a fantasy world in which bears live in a house that has table, 3 kitchen chairs, 3 bowls and utensils in the kitchen. This house also had 3 other chairs in a different part of the house-the living room. There was also a second floor with a bedroom that has three beds, apparently in that single room. What a middle-class family with the basic amenities. Note, it’s not a cabin in the woods, but a house in the forest.

The only emotions or feelings exhibited by this bear family were anger and apparent fear and surprise. The father bear came across as expressing only anger. He growled, suggesting anger on three separate occasions. The first was when he noticed that someone took a bite out of his porridge. Was this father hungry, angry that someone dear took a bite out of his food or angry about the intrusion? How did he know that somebody sat in his chair and why would that elicit anger? Was that chair his narcissistic possession, and an expression of his authoritarian character?  He also growled when he noticed that somebody had been lying in his bed. Was the bedding messed up, and did this disturb this compulsive bear’s lack of order and control. In essence, the theme and characterization of the father bear was only that this bear was growing over minimal circumstances. Are fathers generally angry is the message.

The mother bear, on the other hand, exhibited no emotion. It didn’t matter whether someone ate her porridge, sat in her chair, or even slept in her separate bed. She was certainly a noncontroversial figure and somewhat inconsequential to the story. Perhaps she was the peacekeeper or the go-between. But based on the story, she just told the facts and expressed that clearly or robotic like.  Are mothers without emotion and follow their authoritarian and dominating husbands around without opinion? Or, does this traditional mother figure stuff and repress emotions and not very 21^st-century like?

Now for the baby bear. The baby bear consistently cried, perhaps from anxiety or fear or even hunger as in the case of not having any food. This baby bear also cried pointing out that its chair was broken. We don’t know the sex of that baby bear so whether or not crying was appropriate and/or the result of the controlling “parenting” of the father bear. Single children certainly do not like to share when they are the center of attention-was that crying just attention seeking? This baby bear exhibited immature crying behavior. However, the baby bear exclaimed-either surprise or anxiety when finding Goldilocks in its bed.

Goldilocks, on the other hand, exhibited intrusive and criminal like behavior by entering a house with apparently no one there. She just walked right in. She was also self-centered and narcissistic, and likely got her way because one porridge bowl was too hot while the second porridge ball was too cold. She didn’t cool off the first porridge bowl or heat the second porridge bowl. She devoured and ate up the third bowl exhibiting a feeling of being happy. It is apparent that her conscience had no limits. She was not thinking that she was doing anything incorrect. Hungry Goldilocks simply enjoyed eating someone else’s food. She was just meeting her own selfish, egocentric and hunger needs.

Being hungry, she went into the living room to sit down. This time she exhibited the emotion of “exclaimed”-maybe irritation or annoyance, along with whining about the second chair. She didn’t like the fit in the first two chairs and simply liked, with a sigh, the third chair. However, it didn’t bother her when she broke the chair. She made no effort to fix it or make amends. Once again responsible behavior was not exhibited while sitting in the chairs. While going upstairs to the bedroom and lying down in the three beds, she expressed no emotion whatsoever. Goldilocks just went to sleep. However, when she woke up, she was frightened by screaming help and was now the victim. She was a perpetrator in the story and now she becomes the victim. She ran out of the room, ran down the stairs and ran away into the forest. Appropriately, she never returned or broke into that home again.

Some of the messages and ideas that I learned at an early age from this fable were as follows: 1. Father types or authority figures are angry and displeased when things are not compulsively in order. It’s easy to angrily upset this cold human type. They don’t think, they just react angrily when things don’t go their way. They want to be in control at all times. They are scary figures.

 2. Mother types are subservient and passive in the household hierarchy. They are in second place and follow the father type. They also do not express emotion and simply repress their feelings. As a result, we don’t know what they’re thinking or feeling. We don’t have a clue with their robotic like responses. We don’t know what bothers them-could it be intrusion, eating one’s food, sitting in one’s chair, sleeping in one’s bed or even witnessing a baby’s chair broken?

 3. All babies do is cry. They cry about eaten food, having a broken chair-the baby is the victim in this story. Babies can be taken advantage of, because all they do is cry as opposed to saying what’s bothering them.

 4. A white human female disrespects someone below their station in life. They can take advantage and enter any house they want, eat someone’s food, sit in anyone’s chair-even break it and sleep in anyone’s bed. It doesn’t matter. This privileged white female has no obligation other than to dominate and take advantage of the situation. However, when confronted, she becomes the victim. In essence, the perpetrator takes advantage and then becomes victimized in the process. Poor me, help me forget that I am the perpetrator.

This in human fable fantasy or illusion taught me a lot and what I learned is not to repeat it to anyone other than to make a point of its unhealthiness.