Human Needs of Affection, Love and Admiration Part 2

Although there are many needs In addition to the need for affection, love and admiration the focus of this essay is on how these needs, expresses itself toward others, especially under conditions of stress. This man, whom we will call M 1, is our example of an individual with an excessive need for love, admiration and affection .Historically, M1 has been the man in charge or at the center of his business interests for a long time. He oversees and rarely delegates power and control and is the” Emperor.”

Over the last two years or so, M1 has been elevated to the highest political position in the world. So, he surrounds himself with individuals that are loyal, first and foremost to him. Loyalty for him is equated with being liked, loved, admired, supported, revered and/or recognizing that he has last word, and that his opinion matters unconditionally, first, most and last .Disagreement, with his opinion, is perceived as a betrayal, not being liked, loved etc. and is threatening or anxiety producing. Examples of typical and frequent counter hostile verbal responses by him can be “you’re fired,” “you’re a traitor,” or “you’re disloyal,”

If the media, newspapers or tweets write positives about M1, he perceives these as friends and reinforce his notion of being loved, respected, worthwhile, admired and valued. This bolsters his fragile self-esteem. On the other hand, investigations, indictments of associates, negative reporting are perceived, by him, as threats of being worthwhile, popular, or liked. He responds with hostile words like “fake news,” “enemy of the people,” and “witch-hunt” in an attempt to combat the anxiety or threat. However, for M1, being the focus of any attention either positive or negative is also desired. He craves attention and is like the trouble maker in elementary school that typically disrupts the teacher and/or the class regardless of the consequence. He craves attention because any attention is required. The absence of attention is perceived as being worthless and insignificant. Insignificance and worthlessness psychologically means not being adequate, noticed or relevant, which is detrimental to M1’s self-esteem, and is to be avoided at all costs.

Rallies are an attempt for M1 to receive unconditional admiration, praise, respect, and hero worship. These events, unfortunately, only temporarily, or in the moment, provide that” high”, which reduces the anxiety {exorbitant need for affection and love}. M1 also inflates his wealth {respect} and the numbers of his inauguration since having less of a turnout than Pres. Obama suggests to him that he was not as well liked. That’s a significant blow to M 1‘s  need to be liked and admired  .M1 also uses superficial flattery, as  with his love description for the North Korean dictator in an attempt to influence the negotiations and to be liked in return.

 Proper and beneficial love, admiration and affection are important and necessary for an optimum Homo sapiens well-being. However, if there is too much {anxiety} of an increased need to be loved, esteemed, and recognized then we find a much sensitivity to the frustration of these needs. More specifically, compulsive and indiscriminate behavior along with overvaluation of love, extreme jealousy and the demand for unconditional love surfaces in which anxiety is clearly present. More than likely maternal and caretaker warmth was insufficient in terms of quantity and quality for M1.This was likely one significant factor for the development of his need state. Therefore, we can expect, while in office, because of the tremendous amount of stress or anxiety, his drive to fill the need for love, admiration and affection will result in   more of the same or similar hostile and aggressive verbal behavior.