Finding Happiness Part 3

 Thomas Jefferson pursued intellectual [President of the American Philosophical Society etc.] and physical happiness. Yes, he was brilliant and might’ve been one of our greatest presidents and yes, he owned slaves and it was believed that he had sexual relationships with his property. Was that what Jefferson meant by the pursuit of happiness? The various ideas of happiness are not confined to 1. Greek and other philosophers 2.  Religious views [Buddhist teachings, happiness in Judaism; 13th-century philosopher, theologian; Thomas Aquinas all have their ideas 3. Psychological research 4. Spiritual, economic, political, and health quests and 5. Individual pursuits. As you can see, there appear to be many ways in reaching the so-called Promised Land.

Further, it seems that there’s no one specific or clear-cut notion of happiness. Happiness has many facets, strings, connections, definitions or ways as far as our thinking   leads us. It is an interesting cerebral exercise. However, if we’re talking about the fleeting emotion of happiness, we’re talking about an individual subjective internal bodily experience that can be very different from what goes on in our head.  In other words, the cognitive idea of happiness can lead us in making poor self-defeating decisions; chasing false idols; distorting reality; and chasing illusions. Yes, one can chase the idea of happiness but the truth lies in feeling the emotion of happiness. Feelings don’t lie. If you can properly label your feelings, you know yourself even if you don’t wish to. Yes there a lot of negative emotions.

Forget about chasing the idea of “happiness.”  Learn to identify your emotions regardless of the real particular feeling. Clarify your need structures [i.e. achievement, affiliation, power, aggression, dependency] and make rational clear-cut choices based upon your psychological and physical health. Hopefully, mature love relationships; inspiration, life’s meaning and work are part of the equation. And if that happens, you’ll likely experience a lot of positive emotions during your life journey. Will that prescription make you happy?  Maybe some of the time it will. It all depends on how many or how often do you engage in painful or self-destructive abasement behaviors while telling yourself that you’re really searching for happiness. Life is a journey that has many bumps, turns and detours along the way. Hopefully, at the end, you’ll not have tripped too much, be doing what you want with an authentic smile on your face. If you are successful at the end, you may have beaten the odds as men are not as rational, seeking in their behaviors. Dale Carnegie had it partly right-we are creatures of emotion. And further, we engage in too many self-destructive repeated behavior patterns. Chasing happiness is a myth or illusion under which we live.

Finding Happiness Part 2

Part 2

Just received a brochure called “The Science of Happiness.” The brochure states that one can discover research tested keys to happiness and learn how to apply them to personal and professional life by taking these groundbreaking courses. They stated that up to 40% of happiness depended on habits and activities.  However, one could also turn to religion to find happiness. Surveys conducted by Gallup and others concluded that high religiousness predicted lower risks of depression, drug use,  fewer suicide attempts,  reported satisfaction with sex life ,and a sense of well-being. Do you agree that Science and religion have the answer to happiness?

Within the historical evolution and development of capitalism, we have been “sold” a bill of goods- fame and fortune. We have been mesmerized and hypnotized by those who tell us such things as the following: 1. Go to college. 2. Get married. 3. Have children. 4. Buy that dream house with the right zip code 5. The man with the bigger toys wins 6. Go on a cruise or go to some exotic vacation land, 7. Get that latest automobile 8. Drink beer, go to parties 9. Attend that special professional sports game 10. Visit that four-star restaurant 11. Dress in the latest fashion. 12. Purchase that special vitamin or organic food. 13. Make a ton of money-more is better.  The list [advertising with smiling faces] goes on and on, with the underlying message that money buys happiness. Other messages are running after power, celebrity status or fame as far as achieving or searching for happiness. Being elected or becoming a star or idol is supposed to bring a smile on your face; or finding that particular fountain of youth product.  For many, it must be clear by now that these things, or  goods don’t necessarily result in long-term happiness because why would we engage in so many seemingly paradoxical unproductive and self-defeating irrational behaviors-to  name a few, such as drinking, smoking and eating too much, taking prescription and nonprescription drugs with  deterious abasement affects. Other escapes include but not limited to entertainment, reading, movies and sports. A case in point, using Ekman’s facial analysis of emotions, view  the   faces of college basketball and football coaches; NFL football coaches; NBA basketball coaches and MLB baseball managers during their practice or “real” games. Seldom do we see a smile, and they say after a victory something to the effect that, enjoy it while you can, because there’s the next game to think about. Or for that matter, look at the faces of the presidential candidates during the debates. Are these individuals really having fun and have they really found happiness? They have certainly reached elite categories in their respective fields.

As a psychotherapist, it became very apparent in my practice that individuals had tremendous difficulty identifying or labeling their feelings. I found that fact over and over in the many years of dealing with people therapeutically and even socially. In essence, individuals generally call their thoughts their feelings. I also know that we distort reality, as result of our defense mechanisms and illusions. Typically, individuals believe many things which are often contradictory. So when, a self-rating, life satisfaction; subjective happiness; or positive and negative affect scales were used to measure happiness, I roll my eyes and question the results or findings of such. Remember, that feelings are generally short-lived and don’t stay or even linger around for a while. Further, many things or experiences happen to us during our lifetime. And if we agree with Dr. Ekman, 5 of the 6 feelings or emotions are negative. This would suggest that there is a preponderance of negative feelings experienced in life compared to the one positive feeling of happiness.  Yes, it’s difficult to avoid negative feelings. A better way of being might be learning, if we can, to deal more effectively or differently with our irritations and self-defeating seeking behaviors.

To be continued 

Finding Happiness

The American College Dictionary defined happiness a noun as: 1. Quality or state of being happy. 2. Good fortune; pleasure, content, or gladness. 3. Aptness or felicity, as of expression. Dale Carnegie had it right “When dealing with people, remember you’re not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” Further, psychologist Paul Ekman, in his study of facial emotions, identified 6: happiness, fear, anger, sadness, disgust, and surprise in his lifelong extensive research.

 Charles Darwin believed that emotions were biologically determined and universal in human culture. We know that emotions helped us survive by ensuring our physical, social, safety and well-being. These internal states were meant to motivate us and assist us achieve our best chances of survival by either withdrawing from threats or approaching rewarding things around us. Our emotions are important subjective feelings within us. In other words, in general, emotions are internal states that exist for three reasons: 1.Focused our intention on important things that affect our personal or social, safety or well-being. 2. Motivated us to do whatever we need to do about these things in order to get what we need or want. 3. Caused physiological changes in the body, like breathing and heart rate that allow us to do whatever we need to do. Further emotions are short, dominating and focused, which means they are short-lived in duration. They typically come and go in seconds, minutes, hours, and are simply not present for long periods of time.  Emotional states are connected to specific thoughts or environmental situations.

Within that short or brief background, let’s add a few other ideas regarding happiness: 1. Thomas Jefferson said there was a universal right regarding “the pursuit of happiness”2.  Greek philosophers believed - by living ethically, guided by reason, motivated by exhibiting their virtues, associating happiness with obtaining pleasure for the greater good, imposing a strict regulation on desire, and an absence of pain, coupled with emphasis on pleasure in the mind as contrasted to physical pleasure. 3. Sonja Lyubomirsky’s concluded-happiness level is 50% genetically determined. 10% affected by life circumstances and situation and the remaining 40% subject to self-control. More recently, psychologist Martin Seligman asserted that happiness was not a drive for external or monetary pleasures and humans seemed happiest when they have: 1. Pleasure [tasty food, warm baths, etc.] 2. Engagement [or flow, the absorption of an enjoyed yet challenging activity] 3. Relationships [social ties] 4. Meaning. [Perceived quest or belonging to something bigger] 5. Accomplishments [Having realize tangible goals].

To be continued

The Science of Man Part 4

Let’s play student, for a moment, and pretend we are in Dr. Kimmel’s class. Professor Kimmel to answer your question “to be a real man “at what age or phase are you referring since there are significant differences or variables that must be addressed.  For instance, as infants, the only noticeable difference between the sexes is a penis. However, when I interviewed Tom Curtis, Frank Gusich, Thom Darden, Jim Brandstatter, Fritz Seyferth, Gary Moeller, Mike Keller, Jim Betts, and Reggie McKenzie, I got a very different description of them when they talked about the year 1969, and Michigan football compared to today.

 In 1969, these testosterone driven men were put through a series of unorthodox training and conditioning challenges by the newly hired Coach Bo Schembechler. With high testosterone levels [aggressiveness, ability to build muscle, bone strength etc.], these men pounded and beat up each other in the boxing ring with conditioning drills like “slap and stomp.” In one episode, of this drill, first string defensive end Cecil Pryor got pissed off when a teammate hit him the wrong way. The physically aggressive Pryor responded and knocked him out of the boxing ring. Quickly, Coach Schembechler jumped into the same ring, and aggressively looked Cecil in the face and retorted, “If you want to fight someone, fight me.” That got Reggie McKenzie’s attention along with others and he then realized, that this man is the boss and totally in charge.

Frank Gusich told me that he thought to himself about how difficult and brutal the conditioning and practicing sessions were. He believed that it would make him stronger and that he would be able to excel in the fourth quarter of the football games as a result of his excruciating ordeals. Reggie McKenzie learned that he had to work his butt off despite all the sadistic and harsh swearing, he received from Coach Schembechler. From that U of M experience, Reggie carried that to the pros .He incorporated the idea that he had to physically and mentally destroy his opponents. These young athletes needed all that testosterone to help them release more aggression, dominance, coupled with the mental strength and ability to tolerate mental and physical pain and injury. Expressions like “full of piss and vinegar;” “sewing his oats;”  “boys will be boys;” and “he thinks with his little head not with his big head” pertain to this age generation.

Today, with less testosterone and injuries sustained from the brutal game of football, we get a different picture of these men. Reggie McKenzie, a physically giant of a man, was primarily responsible as a member of the Buffalo Bills for assisting teammate OJ Simpson in breaking or smashing the NFL rushing record. In the pros, head coach Chuck Knox referred to Reggie as the enforcer. Currently, Reggie runs the Reggie McKenzie, Industrial Materials Incorporated. However, Reggie’s physical aggressiveness is expressed when he hits a white golf ball. He cannot run but he can slowly walk. My friend and teammate Ed Budde of Michigan State and Kansas City Chief Fame during his playing days with a dominant left guard on the Super Bowl winning Chiefs. Among other things, this left guard helped protect quarterback Lenny Dawson’s blindside. Ed played 14 years and totaled the second most games in Kansas City Chief history. Ed’s testosterone level remained high not only on the field, but off the field as well with numerous brawls. He had a reputation. In fact, Hall of Fame Howie Long for the Oakland Raiders told the story that after he broke Brad Budde’s nose in the game, he was afraid that Brad’s father Ed was going to come after him, and do him harm. Today, Ed can light up and smoke a good cigar and slowly walk his dog. However, physically he is hurting.

So young men in their 20s and 30s present one picture. I recently researched men and women, age 65 and older, who were still physically, competitively competing in sports. In my book “It Has Nothing to Do with Age,” I learned a lot about Russ Kiernan, Jim Steere, Lew Hollander and Jack Sholl. Russ Kiernan, in his late 70s is called the Dipsea legend. The Dipsea is the third oldest running race in the United States behind only the Boston Marathon, and the Beta Breakers. Dr. Jim Steere, at age 80, completed the Tevis Cup. He was the oldest to complete this feat. The Tevis is the oldest 100 mile one day equestrian race in our country. Dr. Lew Hollander at age 83, became the oldest to complete, the Hawaiian Iron Man. Jack Sholl in his 80s was the ultimate rower and still racing in international Masters Crew races. Although, their testosterone levels have declined [Lew Hollander would like to be able to run the marathon distance faster], their, motivation, competitiveness and mental toughness continue to run strong. These men have also determined and made good health style choices.  On top of that, these individuals [outstanding females were also interviewed] have found meaning, passion, inspiration, and have enriched their life greatly. They can and are able to look to the future .None of these men are physically fighting with others today.

These men are not grumpy old men, like so many in their age group. We know that because when individuals engage in diminished exercise, poor nutrition, smoking and drinking in their lives, their health is nothing to brag about. In fact, with poor health, men get to look forward to meds, doctor visits and death as a result of heart disease, cancer, stroke, kidney disease, diabetes and more. The future for these souls do not look great. Chances are they didn’t find meaning or passion in their lives.

In conclusion, professor Kimmel, the study of men has many variables. The starting point or socioeconomic beginnings of parents; the physical and mental health of the two parents; religion or faith; political environment; capitalistic economics; physical and mental health; location reared in the United States; rural or urban; educational level achieved; amount of stress; damage to brain and the ratio of positive to negative lifestyle- health style decision and choices made along the way. These factors determine at different phases or different ages, “What it’s like to be a real man?” And professor, I would add that these factors and variables also determine “What it is like to be a real person?”

By the way, join us in Ann Arbor on September 17, from 6 to 8 PM for a book signing of Bo’s Warriors. Our event will be hosted by Jim Betts, the newly elected president of Michigan Football Association Network [MFAN] and Joe Sesi of Sesi Lincoln-Mercury. Wine and hors d’oeuvres are on the menu.

Go Blue!

The Science of Man Part 3

 I’ll begin this next section with a quote from Dr. George Sheehan “Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling and enduring and accomplishing.” It is clear that Dr. Sheehan did not differentiate between the sexes. However, when it comes to hormones, testosterone is considered the male sex hormone. It is produced in the testicles and secreted by the testes. It is been estimated that women have testosterone levels 1/10 to 1/12 those of men. This hormone is most pronounced during puberty and then gradually diminishes during a man’s lifespan.

A few distinguishing characteristics of this hormone are as follows: 1. Promotes libido, aggressiveness and sexual desire [A female Viagra product designed to stimulate sexual desire, is now available]. 2. Promotes protein anabolism-use of proteins to build muscle, skin and bone. Testosterone production is affected by a number of external elements such as obesity, exercise and lifestyle [smoking and excessive alcohol intake]. In other words, a healthy college male is likely to be aggressive, has ability to build muscle with strong sexual desire.

 Recently, two females graduated and have joined the elite Army Rangers. Wonder what their testosterone levels are? When it comes to sports, world class women are great competitors. What male would get in the ring with martial artist Ronda Rousey; play tennis against Serena Williams;  kick a soccer ball at Hope Solo; play one-on-one basketball with Diana Taurasi; race Missy Franklin in the 200 m backstroke ; get in the batter’s box against Leah Crockett of the University Michigan; or race Meghan Arbogast in a 100 K trail run.

These women far exceed the majority of male competitors in their specialty. As Sheehan said “Happiness has something to do with struggling and enduring and accomplishing.” These women are physically and mentally tough. This past June, Meghan, age 54, ran the Western states 100 mile trail run. Read about her ordeal in detail, and you will conclude like me regarding her unparalleled mental and physical toughness. 

Last Sunday, the 16^th, Tony and I ran a 20 mile trail run in the Sierra Nevada’s [Run on the Sly]. As I ran up and down the trail, I had an opportunity to observe the many women that overtook me. Many of these young women were extremely fit and had great looking leg and calf development. They were terrific. After the run, Tony and I went for our favorite awards, even though we both placed in our age group,  -which is ice cream. We talked about our run and also about women who also go for ice cream after a tough event. Our event was tough as the temperature reached triple digits. I’m going to ask world class runner Meagan if she also goes for ice cream after her events for one of her rewards.

Many years ago there were limited possibilities and less opportunities for women in women’s sports. Back then Babe Zaharias was a freak on the golf course. Now, I don’t know why a women’s T is closer to the hole than the men. With changing values, coaching, training, nutrition, women are achieving at unbelievable heights. I’m certain I could learn more about basketball from coach Becky Hammon of the San Antonio Spurs and more about  football  [Even though I played at the college level] from coach Jen Welter of the Arizona Cardinals.

In 1969 there was a classic football battle between Michigan and Ohio State. On the playing field were plenty of testosterone filled young men with excessive libido, aggressiveness and of course sexual desire. However, when it comes to winning and losing much can be said about conditioning, coaching, and coaching player- staff preparation. Legend, Woody Hayes’s was the head coach for the Ohio State Buckeyes. His protégé was none other than Bo Schembechler.  Schebechler previously coached for the Buckeye head coach. Bo Schembechler also had Gary Moeller as a member of his coaching staff. Gary Moeller was a team Captain for Woody Hayes when OSU were ranked number one in the early 60s.

Yes, Bo and Gary learned from Woody. Would their coaching skill be enough to win against the undefeated number one ranked team in the country, at the time? No one measured testosterone levels that cold Saturday, in Ann Arbor, nor assessed the mental toughness of either team’s players. Yet, the young Michigan players [Many of whom played in the NFL, were all pro, and even inducted into the Hall of Fame] described that victory like none other. Their motivation was out of this world and raised to unheralded heights by the clever coaching of Bo Schembechler and his talented staff. Among these players, they mentioned that the experience on that Saturday was never again duplicated in their lives. I don’t know if that band of brother’s experience was similar for the women in team sports. Perhaps, testosterone had a lot to do with it-the physicality, camaraderie, the overcoming, and the winning.

When it comes to sports, yes, the top males clearly dominate at the world-class levels. The muscular development, aggressiveness, and gross motor ability enter into this male equation. Women are now achieving at impressive levels due in part to their opportunities. Still, we continue to differentiate with male versus female leagues at this time.

However, when it comes to psychology and mental illness, we don’t have one exclusive diagnoses for females and another for males.  The same and I mean the same criteria is used for diagnosis. That doesn’t mean that the numbers of males and females are equal in all the diagnostic categories. Yes, more women are depressed, depending upon the age than men. And, more men have an antisocial behavior disorders than women. And yes, more women have a hysterical style personality; and even Neo-Freudian Karen Horney had a book published called Feminine Psychology. Yes, there are psychological differences between the sexes. But in studying psychology, the definition covers behavior, cognition and emotions regardless of orientation. The major personality theories [Behaviorism is one of them] do not differentiate between the sexes. Humanist psychologist Albert Maslow’s idea of self-actualization includes both males and females. Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, Kurt Lewin, Gordon Allport, Carl Rogers and others do not discriminate. It’s called personality theory as opposed to Male Personality Theory. A human being is not an atom and can’t be split.

The study of man in the Stony Brook program sounds interesting. When the good professor asked the students to describe a good man, their responses were feminine based. They described characteristics of a woman. When he asked them to describe a real man, their responses were more testosterone and stereotypically based. As a psychologist, I appreciate the hormonal, genetic, brain, environmental and social variables or influences when talking about men and when talking about women. That’s more interesting for me. In conclusion, Erich Fromm stated “Man’s main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is” states very accurately that we are the same animal with the same task. And each of us have the responsibility figure out what that is. He didn’t discriminate between the sexes, nor will I.

Go Blue!

The Science of Men-Part 2

Part 2 - The Science of Men

Briefly, let’s take a look at some of the ways in which men and women differ within brain function. The human brain is primarily composed of two halves-the right cerebral hemisphere and left cerebral hemisphere. Although the two hemispheres look pretty much like and can do some similar things, there are differences. Generally speaking, left hemisphere usually controls speech and language, including basic reading, writing and arithmetic [The 3Rs]. The right side of the brain may control some aspects of language such as intonation. Further, it also controls visual-special functions like recognizing forms, geometry, navigation, complex mathematics, art and music.

Would you believe that hand preference- left-handed men have a greater chance of being more highly successful in life than right-handers. A John Hopkins study found that left-handers were 15% richer than right-handed college graduates; and other studies found that higher than normal numbers of left-handers consist among lawyers, architects, artists, musicians, and actors. On a side note, left-handers have some advantage in some sports such as football. Who can forget the” Snake”-Kenny Stabler of the Oakland Raiders in the 70s and 80s? In the past, there was brain dominance theory, which proved to be more myth than science. No one is necessarily “right brained” or “left brained” in their dominant manner of mental functioning. PET and fMRI studies show that most activities are done using both cerebral hemispheres in concert.

 The left atmosphere is more language oriented, and overall, women have better language skills.  This left hemisphere is sometimes referred to as the “social” brain. This translates that females, with their greater language, also have superior person perception of social behavior, including better recognition and facial emotional expression. While the right hemisphere is more visual- spatial, men have exceptionally good visual -spatial skills. This corresponds into excellent mechanical abilities but do not leave out the role and importance of genetics, hormones and the environment regarding male-female differences in the cerebral hemispheres. For example, studies show that excessive testosterone in males slows the growth in the left cerebral hemisphere while accelerating the growth of the right hemisphere.

Men, it seems, have larger frontal lobes with a greater density of cells in the right parietal lobe. This importance is associated with improved movement control, abstract thinking, planning, organizing, implementing and monitoring behavior. This is referred to as the executive functions within the brain. Spatial analysis and mathematical reasoning are additional strengths for men. In comparison, women’s right frontal cortex are bulkier, coupled with a greater density of neurons in parts of the left temporal lobe. This translates into language processing and comprehension, which allows girls to develop language faster and more comprehensively than boys. Additionally, with more attention and greater impulse control, women have half the number of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder [ADHD] diagnoses than the boys. Other findings suggest that women use more of their brains than men in nearly every cognitive task possible. On the other hand, a man’s brain seems to be more compartmentalized.

Even though our brains do not differ significantly, individual differences differ greatly among men and among women. And speaking of advantages, men do better with: 1. Target-directed gross motor skills like throwing a ball 2. Visual-spatial skills. 3. Navigating through a route 4. Complex university level mathematics. The nod go to the women in the following: 1. Most types of language skills. 2. Fine motor tasks. 3. Accuracy and object location. 4. Empathy for others. 5. Social interactions.

Deficits or damage to the frontal lobes in the brain have significant negative consequences.  This area of the brain regulates many things such as: controlling impulses and emotions, planning; organization, movement, overall social and cognitive behavior, including judgment and decision-making. In other words, antisocial personality disorder [APD] characteristics in men include: increased violence, more impulsivity, impaired judgment, failure to conform to social norms, aggressiveness, disrespect for the safety of oneself and others, lack of sense of guilt or remorse, lack of empathy, employing rationalization and blame,  glibness, inability to feel love , deceitfulness , shallowness with displays of lying and manipulation for personal gain, having a distorted sense of potential consequences of actions, not only for oneself, but for others, and emotions which characteristically are usually short-lived and egocentric.

To illustrate, when convicted multiple murderer Gary Gilmore was asked why he killed all those people at the filling station, he replied, “well, I didn’t intend to kill them, but, hey, they got in my way.” In the movie “No Country for Old Men” displayed countless illustrations of a disregard for others with uncontrolled violence and murder without remorse. These behaviors are not all genetic as learning history and the environment also play a role in the development of antisocial behaviors.

Chronic stress is associated with the shrinkage of the cortex and hippocampus of the brain, heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, and many other diseases. No one is immune from the posttraumatic stress [PTSD] diagnosis, which is correlated with an individual’s response that involves intense fear, helplessness, or horror. Interestingly, more women receive a PTSD diagnosis such as in certain situations-sexual trauma. For men, it’s different, since a PTSD disorder is more typical for returning Iraq war veterans [Re-experiencing of symptoms with intense feelings of distress]. A substance disorder and an antisocial personality disorder often follow for the soldiers.

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A few facts about depression and suicide as related to men and women. Depression is the most prevalent psychiatric disorder in United States. Boys and girls have a similar risk of depression until puberty. Starting with adolescence, there is a greater incidence of depression among girls. Additionally, the lifetime adult risk is also greater for women compared to men; however, by 55 to 60 years of age, sex differences in depression disappear. It is believed that the sex differences are the result of emotional memories being more powerfully encoded in a woman’s brain; with stronger connections between the amygdala, hippocampus; accompanied by lower levels of serotonin, a neurotransmitter.

A lethal danger of having a depression diagnosis is suicide.  Within suicide, there are significant sex differences regarding attempts, and completions. For instance, three times as many women attempt suicide as men. However, four times as many men successfully commit suicide.

Genetically speaking, the nature of man is influenced by the complexity of the brain, especially between the brains left and right hemispheres.  On the positive side, men have good mechanical abilities [Engineering]; do well in executive positions with the ability to plan, organize and implement decision-making [CEOs]; be navigators; and become physicists like Einstein and Hawking with their exceptionally high abstract and mathematical ability. Men’s visual spatial and gross motor skills dominate in professional sports, such as in baseball, football, tennis, soccer, swimming and track and field, to name a few.

Women have stronger skills as a whole with language and within  social interactions.  They make  super ,loving mothers and good wives with their socialization ability to empathize, care for, nurture, communicate, and express feelings. Because of their attention to detail, fine motor skills, they are excellent in office situations.

Source: Institute for Natural Resources [INR]

More to follow about the role of the environment as well as hormones affecting the nature of men.

What Is a Man

 Stony Brook University is intending to create a master’s degree program in “masculinity’s studies?” This article in the August 9, 2015 edition of The New York Times got my attention. Dr. Michael Kimmel asked his students to describe what it means “to be a good man?” He then asked them to describe what it means “to be a real man?” Initially, students suggested: caring; putting others’ needs before yours; honest. Then they responded to the second question: take charge; be authoritative; take risks; suppressing any kind of weakness; talk like a man; walk like a man; never cry. The title of masculinity’s studies, according to the sociologist founder of the program, means there’s more than one way to be a man.

Perhaps one way and only one way of talking about being a man is by describing the differences between men and women’s health during the aging process. These differences begin to delineate masculinity. We know that genetics comprise about 25%- 35% in aging. The smart man Hippocrates about 2400 years ago “if we could give every individual the right amount of nourishment and exercise, not too little and not too much, we would have found the safest way to health.” He also said “walking is a man’s best medicine.” He knew that decision making had a lot to do with successful aging.

Comparing differences between men and women on a number of health-related items highlight, illuminate and begin provide insight into masculinity or what it’s like to be a real or good man. For instance, in 2005 the following were the top 10 preventable risk factors in US deaths. In 3 of the 10, more women died than men, and they included: 1. High blood pressure. 2. Physical inactivity. 3. High salt intake. However, in a next 7 categories, more men died than women, and they were: 1. Smoking 2. Excess Weight 3. High Blood Sugar 4. High LDL Cholesterol 5. Low intake of Omega-3 Fats 6. High Dietary Trans Fats and 7. Low Intake of Fruits and Vegetables. Briefly, although women were less active, their decision-making-diets seemed much healthier than men. Men also make significantly more poor and dangerous health decisions-relating to smoking and diet. It’s not a surprise that women have longer life spans and have higher intelligence levels than men.

As far as the top 10 leading causes of death for women and men in the United States, there are some similarities within the top 10 as well as differences. For instance, heart disease, cancer and stroke are the top three leading causes for both men and women. The following are also top causes of death, but not necessarily the same order for men and women: accidents; diabetes mellitus; influenza and pneumonia, COPD/Emphysema; and kidney diseases.

The two remaining top 10 causes of death for men, but not for women are suicide and liver disease and cirrhosis. Further, statistics on suicide demonstrate that men are much more violent when it comes to killing themselves-gunshots, jumping off bridges, and crashing high-speed vehicles. Even though excessive alcohol consumption, drink for drink produces more serious heart damage in women than in men, more men die. Once again, men make poorer and deadly behavioral choices compared to female gender. Did Bruce Jenner know something, and did he make the gender choice in time?

Although, men, on average, experience their first heart attack earlier [65] than women [70], more women are more likely to die of a heart attack than men. Hypertension, one of the culprits, poses a greater problem for women, along with nontraditional stroke symptoms. Further, the Incidence of stroke has increased sharply among women aged 45 to 54. And by age 55 to 64 women had significantly higher levels of blood pressure, cholesterol and triglycerides levels than men. Perhaps, genetics, might play a more significant role per differences-women smoke, less drink less alcohol and eat more balanced nutritiously.

Of the top 10 cancers in the United States, the following seven are shared by both men and women: 1. Lung 2. Colorectal 3. Urinary- bladder or endometrial 4. Skin melanoma 5. Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma 6. Kidney and 7. Pancreatic.  Prostate, leukemia and oral round out the list for men. Further, it is estimated that nearly 1/3 of women, and nearly ½ of men will be diagnosed with cancer sometime in the lifetime. Generally speaking, maintaining a healthy lifestyle can markedly reduce the risk of developing and dying from the 10 most common cancers. Once again, men likely make more poor choices in developing cancer.

Men have better bone health than women. Cognitively speaking men are affected slightly more often than women as far as Parkinson’s, which is the most common of the neural degenerative disorders. However, Alzheimer’s occurs more often in women than men. Once again, bone health and Alzheimer’s might be more genetically based.

As far as aging and causes of death, it appears that men and women are more likely to die as a result of our genetic similarities. However, if you are to age successfully, the women are the winners and men, the losers. As Hippocrates said, a long time ago, the right amount of proper nourishment is extremely important. Men have largely taken his advice in getting the right amount of exercise and walking. But obviously, the other half of his equation does not overcome male behaviors and choices such as the deficits of nourishment. Obviously, Smoking drinking alcohol cannot be considered nourishment. And committing suicide is not nourishing one’s soul. So in spite of exercise and activity, men’s behavior limit his lifespan as well as health span. More to follow regarding the nature and nurture of man.