Just received a brochure called “The Science of Happiness.” The
brochure states that one can discover research tested keys to happiness and
learn how to apply them to personal and professional life by taking these
groundbreaking courses. They stated that up to 40% of happiness depended on habits
and activities. However, one could also
turn to religion to find happiness. Surveys conducted by Gallup and others
concluded that high religiousness predicted lower risks of depression, drug
use, fewer suicide attempts, reported satisfaction with sex life ,and a
sense of well-being. Do you agree that Science and religion have the answer to
happiness?
Within the historical evolution and development of capitalism, we
have been “sold” a bill of goods- fame and fortune. We have been mesmerized and
hypnotized by those who tell us such things as the following: 1. Go to college.
2. Get married. 3. Have children. 4. Buy that dream house with the right zip code
5. The man with the bigger toys wins 6. Go on a cruise or go to some exotic vacation
land, 7. Get that latest automobile 8. Drink beer, go to parties 9. Attend that
special professional sports game 10. Visit that four-star restaurant 11. Dress
in the latest fashion. 12. Purchase that special vitamin or organic food. 13.
Make a ton of money-more is better. The
list [advertising with smiling faces] goes on and on, with the underlying
message that money buys happiness. Other messages are running after power,
celebrity status or fame as far as achieving or searching for happiness. Being elected
or becoming a star or idol is supposed to bring a smile on your face; or
finding that particular fountain of youth product. For many, it must be clear by now that these
things, or goods don’t necessarily
result in long-term happiness because why would we engage in so many seemingly
paradoxical unproductive and self-defeating irrational behaviors-to name a few, such as drinking, smoking and
eating too much, taking prescription and nonprescription drugs with deterious abasement affects. Other escapes
include but not limited to entertainment, reading, movies and sports. A case in
point, using Ekman’s facial analysis of emotions, view the faces of college basketball and football
coaches; NFL football coaches; NBA basketball coaches and MLB baseball managers
during their practice or “real” games. Seldom do we see a smile, and they say
after a victory something to the effect that, enjoy it while you can, because
there’s the next game to think about. Or for that matter, look at the faces of
the presidential candidates during the debates. Are these individuals really
having fun and have they really found happiness? They have certainly reached
elite categories in their respective fields.
As a psychotherapist, it became very apparent in my practice that
individuals had tremendous difficulty identifying or labeling their feelings. I
found that fact over and over in the many years of dealing with people
therapeutically and even socially. In essence, individuals generally call their
thoughts their feelings. I also know that we distort reality, as result of our
defense mechanisms and illusions. Typically, individuals believe many things
which are often contradictory. So when, a self-rating, life satisfaction;
subjective happiness; or positive and negative affect scales were used to
measure happiness, I roll my eyes and question the results or findings of such.
Remember, that feelings are generally short-lived and don’t stay or even linger
around for a while. Further, many things or experiences happen to us during our
lifetime. And if we agree with Dr. Ekman, 5 of the 6 feelings or emotions are
negative. This would suggest that there is a preponderance of negative feelings
experienced in life compared to the one positive feeling of happiness. Yes, it’s difficult to avoid negative
feelings. A better way of being might be learning, if we can, to deal more
effectively or differently with our irritations and self-defeating seeking
behaviors.
To be continued
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