Seems to me
that the task of optimum proper mothering requires a stable, reliable,
trustworthy mother figure. What is the percentage of mothers that can bring these
personality traits to the table? What if mothers themselves have been mothered
with a terrible model so they themselves have not developed basic trust, and
then how can they be expected to provide the necessary and important mothering
techniques for their infant? It is clear that the amount of trust derived from
earliest infantile experience does not seem to depend on absolute quantities of
food or demonstrations of” love,” but rather on the quality of the maternal
relationship.
Additionally,
many unions between men and women fail, as evidenced by the high divorce rate.
We know that individuals often marry for the wrong reasons. In a failed or
troubled union, becoming pregnant and having a child does not provide the fix or
solution. It’s no wonder that so many of our children, through no fault of
their own, start out with at least two strikes based on ineffective mothering.
Two
psychodynamic defense mechanisms during this critical developmental stage
include projection and introjection. In introjection, we experience and act as
if an outer goodness has become an inner certainty or an outer “badness” has
become an inner certainty. While in projection, we experience an inner harm as
an outer one. As a result, we can endow significant people with an evil that is
actually within us. With this being the case, the use of reason and rationality
is compromised. In other words, crises pertaining to love, trust and faith can
characterize irrational attitudes toward adversaries and enemies in many
“normal” individuals. Unfortunately, there are many who profess faith, yet
express mistrust in life and in man. The diagnosis of depression is one outcome.
Yes, mistrust is all too common in our society.
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