Thursday, March 7, 2024

Family

 


Last week, Linda and I drove to Phoenix, Arizona.  My first cousin Robert, a year older than me, was laid to rest at the National Memorial Cemetery.  Dr. Bob was a psy chiatrist and  attained a rank of  Lieut. Colonel in the United States Air Force.  He earned a nine gun salute. Our flag covered  his casket and  then was handed to his son Lee.  Lee wore Roberts flight jacket to his burial.  


Robert was the oldest son of aunt Lillian  and uncle. Harry.  Aunt Lillian was mom's younger sister.  Robert's siblings were Richard, followed by Shelly.  Robert's first home was on Bedford Avenue located on the eastside of Detroit.  The family  then moved to Northlawn Ave. located on the west side of Detroit.  Robert attended Mumford high school , became a practicing physician and later pursued a residency in psychiatry.  He married Harriet and she gave birth to Lee .  Lee  lost his mother when he was 13 years of age.


Robert entered the Air Force and spent  time in aerospace medicine at Edwards Air Force Base.  After a time, Robert married Janice and they had their wedding in Branson , Missouri.  After leaving active duty  military service, Robert was employed by the state prison system in Texas.  Janice  passed and Robert remained in Texas until his health became problematic.  Roughly 3 to 4 years ago, Robert moved to Arizona to be cared for by Lee and his wife Grace.  Lee and  Grace have one son named Harrison.. At the end, Robert told Lee not to keep him alive. Robert was hooked up to a breathing device and had difficulty talking.  Lee acknowledged Robert's wishes, and they  sadly said their tearful goodbyes.


Lee's business card reads Owner Healthcare Consulting.  Lee operates a legal marijuana business .  He told me that he learned the art of growing marijuana from Willie Nelson's right hand man.  He doesn't advertise and his high-end clientele is based on word-of-mouth.


Linda and I stayed in their Casita that ‘s  next to their home in a large courtyard.  There, we met Ken, Lee's childhood friend from the fifth grade.  Ken graduated from the University of Michigan as a civil engineer.  He joined the Marines and became a helicopter pilot.  Ken enlightened me regarding the military.  He is a mountain climber waiting for treatment for his knee from the VA.  Unfortunately, his treatment by the VA has been negligent.


On the day of the funeral, Lee drove us to the National Memorial Cemetery for the barrial . The military service was brief and that was followed by a rabbi’s prayer.  The event was filmed for  relatives unable to attend.  That evening ,we set Shiva at Lee and Grace’s  home .  Sitting Shiva is a memorial service with prayers as in Mourners  Kaddish .  There, Linda and I had the chance to interact with Grace's parents, Lee's aunt Joy and uncle Jack and some of their friends.


Linda and I have spent more time with Richard and his wife Judy and Shelly and Avi than with Robert ,Lee, Harriet and Janice.  Shelly and my sister Beverly facilitated  a number of family reunions back in Michigan.  We had braunch, dinners, and attended  football games with our cousins and their children.  Robert and Janice attended one of the reunions.  


One delightful memory from my past was watching boxing , in their  Nortlawn den, on Friday evenings . Uncle Harry was into boxing and reenacted some of the fighting.  Uncle Harry owned the Whittier movie theater located near the Belle Isle bridge.  We would see a double feature and cartoon usually on a Saturday.  Uncle Harry  provided us with a large cardboard box filled with popcorn.  After the movie, we visited Saunders for a hot fudge sundae .  Those were the days.  


On Wednesday, Linda and I headed home for our 813 mile road . trip.  Going west on Interstate 10, we approached Palm Desert and Palm Springs.  We were on the phone with Bev and I mentioned to her that Jack and Joan  Sholl lived in Palm Desert.  Jack was Chapter 14 of  “It Has Nothing To Do With Age “ and  titled Jack Sholl  Patriot ,Rower , Gentlemen Unparalleled.  Jack passed away a number of years ago at age 85 and I didn't know if Joan was still there . I also mentioned to Bev that our 14949 Evanston Avenue ,in Detroit , neighbor Frank lived in Palm Springs as well.  Frank’s younger brother Hank passed away many years ago and his older brother John  recently passed . Other memories got triggered. like my good buddy  and 100 mile  Ride & Tie Jonathan Jordan partner  and  one dearest psychologist  buddy Denny who also passed.


On our way to Phoenix, we called cousin Sheldon .  Dr. Shell was married to my cousin Sybil. Aunt Sophie  was also  moms younger sister .  Sybil, age 85 ,recently passed .  Shell  was  not feeling well and discouraged with his  assisted living situation.  He told me not to go into any facility and dying in your own home is best.  We also called him on a return, and he was feeling a little bit better but was ready to go. Shell is 88.


Linda and I stopped at the Harris Ranch for barbecue and for dessert we had a hot fudge sundae at Ghirardelli Chocolate  Factory. 


With life,  there is a  plus - minus ratio of  past, present and.future . In death there is  a negative ratio of  sadness, loss, grief and aloneness.accompanied by  emotional and physical  pain,This becomes  a negative expectation of future  with an insurmountable  barrier of despair and therefore succumbing to the end. Einstein stated, "I want to go when I want.  It is tasteless to prolong life artificially.  I have done my share; it is time to go.  I will do it elegantly


PS


On my father's side, all our first cousins:  Sammy, Gloria, Sherman, David, Sis, Raymond and Martin are deceased . Sherman was  aunt Eva and uncle Abe’s only child.  They lived nearby in Chicago and visited often.  Sherman was about 10 years older than me and was my  model. mentor and advisor. Introduced me to such things as  intellectual encounters, fine restaurants, Second City and the Baha'i faith.  Sherman married Lorraine and had Roger Kevin, Linda and Diane.  Their family eventually moved to Southern California.  In fact, when the Raiders moved to Southern California, Sherman and I attended  a Denver Bronco -Raiders game.  I still miss him and Lorraine as well . On my mother's side, remaining first cousins include Stuart ,Jeff, Millie ,Jerry ,Roger and Stephen.


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