Escaping Isolation

Man enters our Milky Way galaxy alone, small, insignificant with unmet physiological requirements, anxiety or tension levels and unable to survive on his own. This essay pertains to the difficulty of being alone and man’s attempts to escape his isolation. Because of man’s design, such factors  as primary drives, needs, activation levels, reinforcement patterns, expectations and of course anxiety are  a few key components in understanding man’s psychology.

We begin life alone, dependent, helpless and with anxiety and/or tension activation levels. If not for another, we are unable to survive. Our basic physiological drives for food and water are examples. We are unable to meet those requirements, without a caretaker. Beginning in this fragile state, the infant, at first, is not able to associate or discriminate exactly how the anxiety or tension levels are reduced. But with development, he begins to form a cognitive schematic, and begins to associate and develop expectations for a reduction or increase in activation levels of comfort or discomfort. The infant clearly learns  that being alone is associated with anxiety, tension {non pleasure} and non-survival; and being with another can be associated with less anxiety, tension {pleasure} and survival. Erickson refers to the stage as developing a sense of trust versus a sense of mistrust. Consistency and regularity with feeding, diapering, touching, talking to, affectionate responses etc. are important characteristics for the caretaker. Caretaker responses can also be irregular, punishing, rejecting, disparaging attitudes, non-kept promises, inconsistent, rough, loud, withholding, overprotective etc. So, what we have here is conflictual since the baby does not nor ever have the full attention or optimum care provided by the caretaker. As a result, of the many positive and negative reinforcement schedules, a cognitive expectancy or pattern of likely expectations or outcomes becomes developed and engrained in the psyche of the youngster. In other words, he experience positives and negatives within interpersonal interactions. Regardless, all humans develop and require needs - strategies to escape the anxiety produced feelings of isolation, helplessness and rejection.

As a result of man’s isolation vulnerability and anxious state, one manner of escape becomes the need for affiliation. Affiliation, becomes, for the infant a major building block for one’s survival. According to Murray, the need for affiliation is related to enjoyably cooperate or reciprocate with an allied other; please and win affection of another; and to remain loyal to a friend. With separation from the other, the results include the activation of anxiety and tension levels. Of course other psychological needs, and strategy behaviors or defenses are established to combat the requirement for survival too.

Within this context, if the interpersonal interactions become dysfunctional, the individual learns to withdraw, isolate and be unavailable with others resulting in a neurotic adjustment to life; or he learns to be aggressive, sadomasochistic, dominant, exploitative, passive and narcissistic in his establishment for power and prestige with others along with control and possessiveness in his interpersonal interactions. On the other hand, if the interpersonal interactions tend to become pleasurable with anxiety or tension reduction activation levels, the individual learns to experience affection, caring, respect, admiration, nurturance, and support in its interactions with another. Of course, there’s various depth and degrees of expression of these three general behavioral orientations. Obviously there’s no pure form or expression of these three orientations. However, it appears that the orientation to inflict pain on others predominates man’s behavior as evidenced by wars, murder rates, incarceration statistics, criminal justice violations, divorce and social media dialogue. The loving and withdrawing orientations behavior follow in frequency and kind.  Also entering the equation is the positive and/or negative reinforcement behavior of the caretaker or caretakers as well as the many interpersonal life positive and/or negative reinforcement experiences or history that follows. Regardless of one’s experience of negative outcomes, there’s still a push toward another encounter with another with the hope and illusion and expectation for a different outcome. Ones thinking process and behavior can also be considered an escape from loneliness or potential loneliness.

 Denying or distorting, the reality of insignificance, powerlessness, and loneliness prevails. It should be apparent that each individual brings to every interaction or union, an unconscious fear, anxiety or tension of being alone and the imperative need for attachment with another in the quest for survival as evidenced man’s active and/or passive behavior. That unconscious quest for survival is built-in based on our design by the underlying anxiety or tension component that has been exacerbated by the need structure of the individual. Another escape myth is that only “love” or “sex” or attachment to another can resolve this unconscious dilemma or fear. Other escape illusions, compensations and strategies to combat isolation include marriage, children, God, religion, politics, pets and other identifications. Additional escapisms to combat isolation include but not limited to are seeking drugs, using alcohol and food to reduce the anxiety activation levels. In essence, the solitude of life, or man’s nature, is an irreducible dimension of human life regardless of the many defenses, illusions and behaviors employed.

PS

A few other psychological needs generated by anxiety, insecurity and helplessness include but are not limited to  sex, abasement, personal achievement, nurturance, prestige, admiration etc. These additional need factors paint a more complete picture of the nature of Homo sapiens.