Saturday, July 28, 2018
It Ain't Fair Part 2
University Michigan coach Bo Schembechler told his team on their first meeting “I I am going to treat you all the same, like dogs.” Does this mean that he’s going to, absolutely and under all conditions, treat all his players equally? To learn more about fairness, Schembechler, Darden, Keller, Betts, McKenzie and Brandstatter, consult Bo’s Warriors Bo Schembechler and the Transformation of Michigan Football.
In the early 1980s, I purchased my first equine Nowata from Veryl Lybert, a smart no-nonsense cowboy, originally from the province of Alberta, Canada. Veryl told me that he preferred to enter horse competitions that did not have a subjective quality. He said,” like in a horse race, when the first horse crosses the finish line, it’s the winner.” Incidentally, Veyl’s oldest boy won the title of “all-around cowboy” on the rodeo circuit numerous times. Veryl was correct, when possible, take subjectivity out of the equation.
My younger sister told me of a recent conversation with our brother. I’m the oldest, followed by my brother, and then my sister. My brother reminded her that he complained to our mother that it was unfair that he had to go downstairs to the refrigerator and bring up a watermelon. Why couldn’t she ask our sister? That early memory is still etched in his brain .It’s still remains unfair. It will always be unfair to him. However, being a good son, my brother, the physician was with mom until the end. Thank you, brother.
In the 90s, I went on a trail run along a creek in the Bay Area. When I returned to my car, after the run, I could not open my door as I had left my keys inside the car. I called AAA to unlock my car. I was told that my soon-to-be ex-wife had taken my name off the AAA membership. At that moment I was surprised. AAA came anyway, and unlocked my car door.
History and the evolution of Homo sapiens, provide too many illustrations of favoritism, wars, killings, persecution, prejudice, economic inequality, sexual abuse along with the cliché “the person coming in second place is the first loser. “With man being narcissistic, prejudiced, and irrational, along with primary needs of survival and secondary needs of aggression, dominance and exhibition, it’s no wonder that words like compromise, rule of law, democracy, affirmative action, level the playing field depict an attempt to create fairness between and among individuals. Good luck with your memories of unfairness. Laughter is better than resentment.
PS
Thom Darden, Reggie McKenzie, Mike Keller, Jim Betts, Jim Brandstatter and I are currently working on a project based on Bo’s Warriors and the Transformation of Michigan Football Bo to bring their stories to the big screen in a full-length feature movie. I’ll keep you posted.
Friday, July 27, 2018
It Ain't Fair
Last week’s post on envy and jealousy triggered numerous memories. A significant dynamic or component of envy and jealousy is, in part, related to the perception of fairness. Developmentally, kids begin learning about fairness at a young age, as result of experiential actions and interactions with parents and siblings. So, according to the definition of fairness “Impartial and just treatment or behavior without favoritism or discrimination,” fairness is about the perception of the beholder. Further, it doesn’t mean that the beholder, King or consensus makes it right.
A few examples of fairness or unfairness follow: 1. King Solomon allegedly was confronted by two women who claimed the baby in question was their own. Cleverly, King Solomon’s solution was to cut the baby in half and present each woman one half of the child. The biological mother, horrified of that idea, told the king, “Give the child to the other woman.” It was at that juncture, that the wise King knew the true mother. 2. Jim Brandstatter was the radio voice of the Detroit Lions for 31 years. Without warning, he was abruptly terminated by the WJR radio station. Jim didn’t mention fairness or unfairness, but he did say he was shocked and” that’s the nature of this business.” 3. Mike Keller, as an adolescent, was large for his age. “By the time Mike reached junior high, he had really grown. He was disallowed from playing competitive football because of his size and weight. [As an eighth grader, he was about 6 feet tall and weighed about 160 pounds.] The football coach allowed him to practice with the team, and placed him on defense against the first-team offense. Mike indicated that even though he was bigger than everybody else, he did not attempt to hurt them. He did admit that he made most if not all of the tackles.” 4. Thom Darden made second team all Pro in the NFL with the Browns. He thought he was better than the Dallas player who made first-team all Pro and was paid $40,000 a year more than Thom. Darden went to the team owner of the Cleveland Browns and told him of the discrepancy. The owner said something to the effect “you signed a contract and go pound nails.” 5. Reggie McKenzie, while playing for the Buffalo Bills, was told by management that they were not going to trade him, despite the rumors. They in fact did trade him to the Seattle Seahawks. Reggie was mad at owner of the Bills, Ralph Wilson also from Detroit. Reggie said some uncomplimentary things about Wilson and the Bills management in the newspaper. This news angered Mr. Wilson. It wasn’t until Wilson died that the Bills honored Reggie by inducting him in their Hall of Fame. Reggie said that Wilson was probably turning over in his grave with that event. 6. A freak accident interfered with Jim Betts potential NFL career. “Jim was drafted by the New York Jets in the 10th round of the 1973 NFL draft and signed a contract to play backup quarterback and safety. Before reporting to camp, Jim was rehabilitating from ankle injury [an injury suffered in the blue and gray game], and was student teaching at Scarlet, junior high, in Ann Arbor. There was a tradition at the junior high that the student teacher would be thrown into the swimming pool by the students at the end of the school year. So, a great number of students started to drag Jim toward the pool. Unfortunately, Jim had a whistle around his neck, and one of the students hand’s got stuck on the lanyard, while Jim was going into the water. The metal whistle got pulled out, striking him in his left eye…. He has a black spot when using his left eye, and lost 70% of the vision, in the eye….. No matter how good you are you can lose it in the blink of an eye-no pun intended.”
To Be Continued
Saturday, July 21, 2018
Envy and Jealousy Part 2
In comparison to those brilliant minds of yesteryear, I prefer to reframe the emotional state of envy within the dynamics of human needs. Comparing self to another is cognitive and has to do with perception. Being cognitive suggests there is an achievement need. Achievement means to accomplish something difficult; to master; to rival and surpass others and to increase self-regard by the successful exercise of talent. Yes, the completion of a marathon is measured achievement and admirable, regardless of age. Being able to acknowledge and appreciate achievement is related to deference and character.
Another necessary cognitive component in combating envy is a need for counteraction. This means to master, or make up for a failure by restriving; to overcome weakness; to search for obstacles and difficulties to overcome; and to maintain self-respect and pride on a high level. Perhaps this professor can no longer run, but he likely can walk. Instead of whining, he might consider working and training for hiking and walking. It’s important not to refrain from an activity because of the fear of failure. On another level, he might sublimate and explore the dynamics of being.
I agree with Camus when he wrote “… our emotions imbue our perceived universe with valence in color. Unpleasant as it might be, it is good to know when we are projecting green—when most everyone seems to be making us feel smaller and less fortunate.” It is important to understand our own psychological dynamics. And if you’re comparing [some components are out of your control, experience and limitations] yourself to some anonymous source, determine the reason or reasons without the emotional overlay. If the basis for the envy is the result of advertising or social media tactics, determine if you want to be just one of the masses and follow that crowd. On the other hand, take a look at your need structure and its unconscious forces. When all else fails, reframe. Yes, “Know Thy Self” is always preferred. Envy and jealousy are negative, irrational, immature, nonproductive, self -defeating and downright inappropriate and part of human nature.
Friday, July 20, 2018
Envy and Jealousy
An article titled “The Upside of Envy” written by a philosophy professor was found in the May 6, 2018, The New York Times. The professor stated that he was envious of all the 60 and 70-year-old’s that have the ability to ride many miles, and that a friend his age had recently finished a marathon. He went on and quoted a number of outstanding thinkers regarding their thoughts about envy that included Nietzsche, “Envy and jealousy are the private parts of the human soul;” Francis Bacon “Envy keeps no holidays;” Kierkegaard, “Envy is secret admiration;” and Aristotle “…as the pain caused by the good fortune of others.”
A Dictionary of Psychology did not include a definition of envy. It did, however, have a definition of jealousy “a complex emotional state, involving a sentiment of hate by one person for another, because of the relations of both to a third; the commonest form is sexual jealousy.” Jealousy begins early and common in development. It often occurs but not limited between siblings, with a perceived unfairness “that’s not fair” regarding receiving affection, attention, food, things, and love from parents.
This professor stated that he hated those athletes because his injured body can’t keep up with them any longer. This professor was really saying that he despises his own weakened inadequate body; which is a significant component of his sense of self or self-esteem. The professor’s statement suggested that he was merely projecting his diminished frailty. On a personal level, when it comes to ultra-running events, I am typically, the oldest participant. I don’t know if others in my age group hate me? If so, it’s certainly a waste of negative, non- productive energy. I surely don’t hate the individual who finished ahead of me in my age group. What’s wrong with admiration, working harder and reality?
TO Be Continued
Monday, July 16, 2018
Existentialism and Le Suicide Part 4
Add human detachment and lack of significant others to the equation, and this equals a higher negative ratio of pain to pleasure. Yes, there are too many individuals in our country that are hurting. These dependent and insecure individuals seek unrealistic and simplistic mechanisms to ease their pain like alcohol and drugs. Their sense of insignificance, ineptitude, unworthiness, lack of esteem, anxiety and stress results in them being unconsciously drawn to the false, illogical, exploitive promises of for profit colleges. Attending a non-expensive community college geared for the troubled learner is more difficult, since one has to sit in a classroom, study, take exams, etc. Another quick fix for the sense of the weakened and powerless individual is the unconscious drive to be protected and taken care of by double talking authoritarian and narcissistic politicians. Because these primitive unconscious motives are emotionally based, and remain with us during our lifetime, acting against one’s own self interests are repeated and par for the course. No, it’s not surprising that despair and suicide is on the rise. Unless things dramatically change in the socio economic and political spheres, we can expect the poorly educated with their limited skill set to remain vulnerable and hopelessly in the doom and gloom, emotional phase which is an existential crisis.
In conclusion, with the inability to fulfill man’s basic needs of affiliation [cooperation, solidarity, love and friendship]; achievement [to accomplish, to master, to excel, and to work], results with significant interference in establishing a sense of purpose or meaning for an individual. When these important and necessary human components are not fulfilled, one’s sense of identity is compromised. In our society, when identity is negatively compromised, the result is often frustration and anger turned inward.
Sunday, July 15, 2018
Existentialism and Le Suicide Part 3
As far as finding meaning, also In the June 24, 2018, The New York Times was an article titled “The Snake Oil of the Second- Act Industry.” For example, we know that limited education and the closing down of industries in our country has affected many older or 50+ aged individuals. With clever “starting over,” “you’re own second act can actually be the most exciting, freeing and empowered era of your life” marketing, a new scam industry was created. This industry is “for-profit colleges,” and not the community college. These false, slick and unethical consumer operations promote useless and meaningless certificates; and create massive student debt. In this article, one student’s debt was $16,000 and another’s $59,000. Student debt for the middle-aged account for at least 17% of the $1.4 trillion in outstanding student loan debt for people over 50 years old. In fact, people 60 and older are the fastest-growing age segment of the student loan market. Moreover, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, over 33% of job seekers are age 55 and older. The long-term unemployed rates for people over 55 are triple the rates for those under 25.
It’s difficult to find meaning, understanding, and/or not taking on a victim viewpoint in our Protestant ethic, capitalistic economic system when one loses their job, their career, their income and goes into unaffordable debt. Part-time employment, minimum wage, limited education, and paucity of skills results in a high external stress index score. This score correlates with a high internal stress index score as well, as one’s sense of self and sense of identity suffers greatly. For many, work and career make up an important part of one’s identity. That significant loss creates a large void or hole that’s difficult to fill. It’s no wonder that these vulnerable, older individuals, in this stage of their life, are frustrated, angry and stressed. Anger expressed inwardly with self-hate, and destructive impulses can lead to abasement behaviors and even suicide.
To Be Continued
Saturday, July 14, 2018
Existentialism and Le Suicide Part 2
If viewing the problem of suicide from an existential viewpoint, lack of meaning or the crisis of meaninglessness; with greater human detachment; and a weaker sense of belonging are increasing the risk of existential despair. More specifically, a few diagnostic symptoms of an Affective Disorder include feelings of inadequacy, decreased effectiveness or productivity, social withdrawal, loss of interest in or enjoyment of pleasurable activities, inability to respond with apparent pleasure to praise or reward, pessimistic attitude towards the future, brooding about past events, or feeling sorry for oneself fit, correspond, and are associated with existential despair.
Despite the electronic explosion of smart phones, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc., we continue to have significant loneliness among our inhabitants. They call loneliness an epidemic in Great Britain. A disruption to one’s affiliative needs runs counter to man’s nature. Affiliation or the necessity to unite with other living beings is paramount for growth and well-being. Loneliness suggests a perceived lack of belonging, connecting, and/or solidarity. This results in a sense of alienation, which has disastrous consequences for its effect on identity. To make matters worse, Electronics have reduced important face-to-face interaction, despite plenty of texting. People handle, touch, and fondle their smart phone more than they do others. They probably also fondle their pets more than other Homo sapiens as well.
Living in a different era while residing In Detroit, as a teen, I delivered the Detroit News to people who resided on my block, etc. As a result of friendships with neighbor kids and my paper route customers, I became familiar with many of my neighbors. My mother, being a friendly type, also knew many in our neighborhood.
I completed my PhD and subsequently took an assistant professorship at California State University in San Bernardino. It just so happened, that one of my former customers daughter had moved to Fontana, California. Talking with the neighbor, my mother gave me the phone number, and address in Fontana to contact. I arrived in San Bernardino on a Sunday morning and called my former neighbor. She was married and invited me over to meet the family. Her husband and I looked through the paper and found some rentals in the San Bernardino Mountains. We found a place near Lake Arrowhead, which I rented. That’s an example of face-to-face neighbor to neighbor interaction and meaningful interpersonal contact back in the day without the Internet, and without a cell phone. Those facts were all pluses on the balance sheet.
To Be Continued
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