Aunt Eva Part 2

It was very clear that I bought into the capitalistic system of earning more, so I could purchase that “dream house;” procure big boy toys; and go on those dream vacations all over the world. I erroneously believed that I was fulfilling my competitive need structure, while attaining nirvana. So many of us believed that economic success results in happiness as in the many various commercials. After all, those actors are smiling when they’re driving the latest car or having attained the latest gadget. Then of course, research studies found that making over $75,000 a year does not bring more happiness and that time off from work is more desired, than job and more earnings. Balboa searched for the fountain of youth, thinking that that was going to bring him happiness. Unfortunately, happiness is a feeling. Feelings are fleeting, meaning they come and go. So to chase something for a feeling is unproductive and stupid. How long does one remain happy when they get that “special job;” dream house; the latest electronic tool; and other goods and services continually pitched to us by good-looking actors, celebrities and other stars? We should all know by now, that one’s feelings are transitory and constantly change. The only certainty here is that feelings change. There are many products that tell you they can make you look younger and more attractive. There many strategies, diets, programs, etc. that claim that weight loss is under your control. One can marry, divorce and remarry a younger object. One can also eat and drink that magic potion or take that magic supplement to facilitate youth. If that doesn’t work, one can even find a surgical procedure to quicken the process. What I’ve learned is that it’s not about money, youth, but about health. The main goal for me is my health span while developing a sense of well-being. That takes precedent and that is my priority. It’s important for me to attain and continue my mental health, as well as my physical health. I haven’t found a magic pill; a magic exercise device; or magic medical procedure that will enhances my sense of well-being. For a sense of wellbeing, I have to become cognizant of my unconscious drives and needs and constantly challenge my motives as well as my thinking. As you know, we can convince ourselves and engage in many irrational and self-defeating behaviors. Just watch the commercials – they know the best marketing strategies. Thank you Aunt Eva, you were right. PS I turned 77 this past year. On January 1, Tony and I have entered a 10 mile trail run titled the Resolution Run. I also entered the Jed Smith 50 K held the first Saturday in February -Tony and Chris will join me in some capacity. At the end of February , Tony, Jonathan and his son, and I have entered the Salmon Falls 50 K trail run. Keep moving, it’s good for you.

Aunt Eva

Aunt Eva was right when she said to me many years ago, likely when I was at latency age, that health was most important. I didn’t get it until I was in my late 50s, in the late 1990s, contemplating divorce. It was at that juncture, that I made changes physically by eating more prudently and by competing in Ride & Tie- a running and equine competition. A friend also presented me with the book called “Stopping the Clock.” This read dealt with antiaging and rejuvenation techniques. I then got it and these two elements {health and exercise} became my mantra. When I was younger as an elementary, junior high and senior high student, I bought into our capitalist economic motto. I was told by my father to work with my head and not my back. I was told by many that college was the path to economic success. Those that attended college earned more money. And back then, college was affordable, not at all like it is today. My passion back then was playing sports. Receiving a football scholarship facilitated my entry into higher education. Freud’s “drives” as in libido and the notion of the unconscious, along with Murray’s “needs” such as abasement, achievement, affiliation, aggression, play, infavoidance, etc. fueled my behavior. My father was a government employee, while most of my extended family seemed to be better off economically. I was able to compare, superficially, although unaware, family members who had a larger home, newer clothes, and attended summer resorts to my parents standard of living. Having more seemed better as I felt embarrassed having less. My father being a juvenile diabetic injected insulin daily, which colored, and played a significant role, along with his going in and out of the hospital for some medical condition. I was driven to accumulate money as the main goal. I married in my junior year at Wayne State University; switched from a business major to an education major; earned my bachelor’s degree; and took a position as a teacher with the Detroit Public Schools. In order to make more money, I attained a master’s degree from the University of Michigan with the idea that I would go into school administration. I had an opportunity to earn more money by taking a part-time teaching position at a community college. Once again, economics was the driving force. Shortly, I was hired as an assistant professor at Oakland Community College. I even decided to pursue a PhD to enhance my earning potential. After completing my PhD, at Wayne State University, I relocated in California, and was an Assistant Professor at California State San Bernardino. After a few years, I entered private practice as a licensed psychologist. To Be Continued

Wild Horses

I recently read about a new problem facing our federal government in the October 16, 2016 edition of the New York Times” Roundup of Wild Horses a Success, Spoiled by Cost of Storing Them” was the title. A few facts: 1. 60 private ranches, corrals and feedlots store 46,000 wild horses. 2. Currently this cost is $49 million per year. 3. One rancher in Oklahoma maintains a little over 4,000 horses and receives two dollars a day per horse. His monetary gross is approximately $3 million per year .4. This Bureau of Land Management Equine Program accounts for 60% of its federal budget. 5. The Bureau is predicting that its horse protection program could reach $1 billion, soon. 6. In 1971, Congress passed a law protecting wild horses that roam free on patches of public land in 10 Western states 7. Fertility control drugs for the horses, and natural predators like wolves have been considered to reduce this population. 8. Animal-rights groups oppose any killing of horses .9. Thousands of acres have been damaged by overgrazing. A lot of land is under extreme stress. 10. The Bureau of Land, Management can now barely afford helicopters to roundup wild horses .11. Each year we can expect an increase of at least 15,000 horses. In a nutshell, there has been pressure not to kill any wild horses, regardless of the social, economic and natural consequences. I would argue that we consider a few other facts 1. It’s a shame that we contain these horses in a neglectful manner. 2. Anyone with over 4000 horses cannot care for them in any proper way. Natural diseases, infighting between horses result in damage to horses. There are many injuries that happen to groups of horses. 3. Think of the pain and no treatment to these equines that result from these injuries. 4. Think of the damage to the natural environment destroying the echo system. 5. Think of the homeless and hungry people in our country. 6. $1 billion is a lot of money to spend without a prudent solution. The problem will just become larger and larger, with no end in sight. I propose that we devise a program to kill a number of wild horses [don’t have a number in mind] in order to feed, clothes and procure other products by using their hides etc. This would increase employment and new jobs. Morally, I would place the needs of people and make humans a priority over the wild, neglected equine. Yes, there’s going to be some outrage. Outrage is not unusual as we have freedom of speech. No one has come up with a better solution. By the way, my wife rides her Mustang religiously. Patch our wild horse gets fed regularly, gets wormed properly, receives necessary shots, and gets groomed and ridden a lot. Patch has a life, a job, and is part of the family. He’s not neglected like the 46,000 others.

Why Exercise ?

Do you believe that exercise can enhance learning? If so, then exercise should play a significant part of the school curriculum. When I attended elementary, junior high and secondary school, physical education was included and was a significant part in the curriculum. For instance, in elementary school, special classes, which included physical education, music, art, science, etc. were held in either the morning or afternoon while the 3Rs were taught in homeroom separate from the other part of the school day. From what I’ve heard, that is no longer the arrangement in schools. A recent article in the July 31, 2016 New York Times titled Muscle Mnemonics received my attention. Researchers at Radboud University and the University of Edinburgh hypothesized that there is a relationship between learning and remembering new material and exercise. Briefly, 72 healthy adult men and women were tested on a visual and spatial learning task [Observed pictures on a computer screen and then asked to remember their locations]. That test was followed by having them watch nature documentaries. Immediately after this test, 48 of these men and women subjects then participated in interval training on exercise bicycles for 35 minutes. The remaining 24 subjects did the same exercise work out, but only 4 hours after the visual and spatial learning test. Two days later, all the subjects repeated the original test while an MRI machine scanned their brains for activity. Which group learned and recalled the most coupled with an increase or a more consistent release of a biochemical [biochemical related to mental function]? Those of you [my wife and friend Tony were asked the question too] that predicted exercising immediately after the test were incorrect [Unless you are a rodent]. The winner were those that predicted exercising, 4 hours after the test. These subjects learned and remembered more. Experimenters admitted, at this point, “we don’t know why?” Could it be, the Detroit Public Schools knew about the relationship between exercise, memory and learning back in my day? They separated the time between reading, writing and arithmetic from playing baseball, basketball, volleyball and track. Why not learn something, have lunch with friends and then perform physical exercise. Often, for me, many of my ideas seem to generate and become clarified while trail running. Putting my ideas to paper become clearer. I recommend that those that want to learn and remember, incorporate exercise in your daily life, even if it’s not four hours later. No one can argue that learning and memory are not good for your soul. The more we learn and remember, the healthier we are. Just ask an old folk.

David Letterman's Questions Part 2

In dealing with this upcoming psychosocial crisis, letterman in this past year, traveled to India for 11 days, learning about India, and Climate Change. That was the subject of a documentary recently aired at the end of October titled “Years of Living Dangerously.” During that trip, he realized that India was very different from anything experienced in America. And that “India makes New York City look like naptime.” Letterman spent more time talking to people than anybody alive, said the television producer who accompanied him. Let’s face it, applause and adulation from a TV audience is pseudo-intimacy, compared to interacting with the people in the flesh. At least he learned that important detail In the article, letterman talked about his 12-year-old son, Harry and letterman’s insecurity about parenting, his son in the correct way. He doesn’t know how strong or how lenient he should be with Harry in Harry’s development. Letterman wondered that if he tried to steer and influence Harry in some direction that Harry would then rebel instead. He also added, “You really don’t want a carbon copy of yourself running around.” With that statement, letterman colors his innermost feelings of self. This stage in Erickson’s model is called Generativity vs. Stagnation. The primary psychosocial concern for the individual is related to teaching and learning, with the “dependence” of the older generation on the younger one. Simply put, the task is establishing and guiding the next generation-- one’s own offspring or others. Erikson added that mature man needs to be needed. Letterman certainly takes this psychosocial stage seriously and wants to teach and take care of and guide his offspring. He joked when he said “I will just say that all the negative qualities, I think, are from his mother’s side. All the positive uplifting qualities seem to come from the letterman’s side. And I don’t mean that as an insult, no.” Starting a family late in life in his late 50s, letterman is confronted with two psychological stages-first, his progeny and then dealing with the dignity of his own lifecycle. It’s important that he remains physically and psychologically healthy. It’s imperative that he continues to be productive, in ideas, giving back to others while keeping the future and focus. It’s important that he continues to teach and learn as there are no do overs. It’s clear that letterman’s talk show host career did not provide significant meaning for him. It’s important that his life task continues to be on the productive side and creative in order to have a life that he alone can define with integrity, so not be left with emotional despair.

David Letterman's Questions

The article “He Shops at Target These Days” found in the New York Times, October 23, 2016 referred to former talk show host David letterman. Erik H Erickson’s Childhood and Society published by WW Norton and Company, Inc. provided insights into some of letterman’s current psychological issues .He had been with CBS’s “Late Show” for 33 years. Erikson postulated that the human personality unfolds according to predetermined psychosocial crises found in one’s life cycle. The emphasis here is about and limited to the psychosocial, while the task is about the ability or potential to acquire human strength. In May 2015, David Letterman, age 69, left the television world. For the past year and a half, he had been living a relatively normal life - even shopping at Target. He commented that he had grown a beard and that for him “A beard is a good reminder to me that that was a different life. I’m hopeful that I will either find something else, or something else will be presented to me.” Some might say that letterman is in retirement, and now what? Some might say that he had influenced prior generations. Some might say that he has vitality left, and is not yet ready to pull the plug. Letterman went on to say that he doesn’t miss late night television “I’m a little embarrassed that for 33 years it was the laser focus of my life.” He added that he was in combat with his one-time friend Jay Leno over succeeding Johnny Carson and that “it took a lot of energy and it probably would have been better expended elsewhere. Now it just seems like really, that’s what you did?” Further, the knowledge that he was not passive in the competition, and that there must be something wrong with him. Not only that, he said. “Maybe life is the hard way, I don’t know. When the show is great, it was never as enjoyable as the misery of the show being bad. Is that human nature?” Even with super ratings; surpassing Jay Leno; experiencing an enormous amount of applause and adulation; working five days a week; being a celebrity; living an upper-class lifestyle, his TV career did not provide him with enough significant emotional or intellectual meaning or supplies. Sad but true. Currently, he is dealing with what Erickson called approaching the stage of Ego Integrity vs. Despair. Briefly in this stage, Erickson described despair as the overriding expression and the feeling that the time is now short, too short for the attempt to start another life. Letterman is not there yet. He still has time to act and to be. It’s important that he use this time of its life prudently.

Identity Gone Wrong Part 2

Narcissism is another danger that is self-directed throughout life. For instance, there can be a healthy or normal narcissist. On the other hand, unhealthy narcissism interferes with the ability to have appropriate and meaningful interpersonal relationships. This is because there is persistent behavior with excessive preoccupation with oneself and one’s concerns. Unfortunately, this psychological impairment persists in behaviors that seek pleasure and/or gratification from others. There is simply little concern about the needs, safety or welfare of the other. It’s about me, me, me, and only me in that order. Having a sense of my personal space and the personal space of another is another important psychological quality. Personal space is made up of thoughts, ideas, impulses, fantasies, and constraints or limits on attitude, actions or behavior. Likewise, the personal space of another is made up of the same. Mature individuals take into account the respect for the other. Without respecting the other, leads to aggressive, insensitive and sadistic interpersonal interactions. Certainly groping, kissing, grinding talking disparagingly about another is simply rule and sadistic. With impairment in developing trust, a healthy amount of narcissism, along with boundary limits affects the development of identity or self. Without a clear sense of identity development, the danger is the development of role confusion. This means there is the danger of over dedication of heroes, reality TV stars, celebrities, and other power figures. There is a tendency to become part of the moment by becoming part of a cliques, and then part of mob vitriol. How can one fall in love, let alone develop a sense of intimacy or fidelity, without having a sense of mature identity? Imperative, without a secure sense of identity development, leads to the exclusion of others that are different, such as in skin color, cultural background, etc. The stereotypes, loyalties, morality, ideology and appropriate behavior gets lost with a series of rationalizations, distortions and irrational thinking. This pathology leads to treating others of the opposite sex inappropriately. We require more than a discussion of appropriate and inappropriate behavior. It is simply nonsense to believe that these sadistic behaviors in males are part of being normal. It’s not normal nor is it typical in healthy psychological development. To consider these behaviors normal, speaks to the unhealthy view of that voice and that voice alone. For me, the issue is the development of a healthy identity leads to healthy male behavior. PS For Trump, a main drive is the exploitation of another. Remember, vocal or physical expression- behavior, is about making choices. Exploitation or choice can be expressed in the arena of achieving power; making money; or attaining sex.