President Kennedy "Children are the world's most valuable resource and its best hope for the future." Statistics in our Republic tell a very disturbing story regarding our children. For instance: 1. High school students are reading and learning math and science at historic lows. 2. Significant increases in suicidal ideation, particularly among females. Percentages of females who had dangerous suicide attempts exhibited upward trends. 3. Overdose deaths among adolescents increased substantially since the end of 2019. Nearly 1/4 of deaths included evidence of counterfeit pills. Two thirds of the descendents had potential bystanders present. Approximately 41% had a history of mental health conditions or treatment. 4. Young people who drink alcohol are more likely to engage in risky behaviors like unsafe sex.. This behavior can lead to injuries and other health conditions. 5. Alcohol can impair brain development affecting memory and learning. 6. 56% of 18 to 24 year olds and 16% of adults between 25 and 34 remain in their childhood homes, 7. The US birthrate hits a historic low of 1.6 children per woman.8.One in four girls are estimated to experience child sexual abuse. 9. About one in 10 adolescents will experience homelessness before the age of 18 . Approximately 4.2 million youth experience homelessness in the US each year. We know that man's development or being is related to his nature and his nurture. With that being said, this essay implicates parents with an excessive need for affection.as it relates to their children .
From a psychological perspective, our country generates a great deal of anxiety . Often, individuals have more anxiety than they are aware of and also without being aware of it at all. Anxiety may be hidden behind feelings of physical discomfort such as heart pounding and fatigue and may be concealed by a number of fears that seem rational or unwarranted . It also may be the hidden force driving one to drink, eat and/or to submerge ourselves in all sorts of distractions like smart phone usage, social media, keeping busy , engaging in excessive sex . Also, anxiety ,when based on the feeling of being menaced ,easily provokes a reactive hostility as a defense. In other words, anxiety can and does provoke aggression and reactive hostility . And, hostility when repressed ,may create anxiety so that there's a reciprocity between hostility and anxiety that’s always generated and reinforced by the other.
Based on the above , the importance and implications of a successful union cannot be understated as it relates to the mental health of their children. Universally, Homo sapiens experience degrees of existential anxiety related to being dependent, insecure and powerless. Within the context of surviving, there’s an ego need for affiliation, in which affection plays a most significant part. Also, within some unions there is an excessive need for affection by one or both individuals.which results in an unsatisfactory union.
In essence, individuals consciously or unconsciously “protect “themselves ,in various degrees, against anxiety with a striving to be loved or approved of. And , if excessive, often go to any lengths to have this wish gratified. Behaviorally, they might have a tendency to comply, to give in and not take any steps of self-assertion . Or, they could strive to dominate by exhibiting their success, power, and possessions .There are many ways with various degrees in which individuals go to protect themselves against anxiety in which there is a powerful need , a desire for affection .
However, when driven by anxiety, that feeling and acting behavior is often compulsory and indiscriminate with hunger and sex being examples .One can experience pleasure and satisfaction as a relief from the anxiety . Also, there's the unconditional and excessive demanding ,striving for reassurance, wanting the feeling of being loved, appreciated,and being reassured constantly so there can be relief from pent up hostility because of feeling helpless and insecure and frustrated living in a “non loving” hostile world. Therefore, the anxious angry one searches and demands affection, loyalty,and appreciation unconditionally.. This excessive need threatens the union.
Linda Ronstadt's "it's so easy to fall in love" fits because of the neediness ,the insecurity , and the tremendous amount of anxiety that’s coupled with hostility. It’s not love but a dependency. . As a result, we are not talking about love even though the words are repeatedly expressed.
Love is actually an expression of a positive attitude toward others and is not based on anxiety, fear of loss or to dominate and subjugate the other person .
Further, love is not using another person as a means for some other purpose, or the fulfilling of some other need like wanting that other person only for sexual gratification, to avoid being lonely, for marriage or for prestige. Often ,blind admiration is not love but a responsive gratitude for some kindness and a hope for affection. The excessive need for affection, results in an incapacity to love. Being unaware of the incapacity to love is likely related to a hostile impulse toward others .
Briefly, love has to do with an attitude and orientation of character in which one relates to the person with intimacy and care .It permits validation of all components of personal worth of the other, mutual sexual satisfaction ,concern, respect, understanding,being separate and being one coupled with maturity.
With that brief representation of an excessive need for affection, if present, it's likely that the union will fail with drastic implications for the offspring . Of course there are other mitigating nature and nurture factors like fantasies and expectations interfering with a successful union. There has been an inordinate amount of nature and nurture research pertaining to children, parents and families describing psychologically the implications and its ramifications . All of the findings are beyond the scope of this essay. However, the following are a few examples that illustrate the research areas that are associated with parent-child family dynamics. They are as follows: Democratic parents, the warm-restrictive parents, hostile authoritarian parents, hostile neglectful parents , effects of inconsistent discipline; child self-concept; parent response to children's behavioral predispositions; parental absence; effects of father absence on boys effects of father absence on girls, social class differences ,social class difference in child rearing practices ,class differences in child's attitudes to parents ,influence of siblings, sex of sibling, sibling death in childhood ,sibling rivalry, development of conscience and moral standards, parent-child relationships and conscience development, anxiety, the mechanisms of defense, nightmares, sleep disturbances, school phobias, death, phobias, depression, repression, compulsions ,conduct problems,, development of prejudice ,prejudice and mental functioning and racial attitudes.
Additionally, other concerns pertaining to dysfunctional child rearing are as follows: and take many forms .In regards to health , pay attention to the mental and physical health of the parents, especially their decision making.. Does their preaching have to do with the consistency of their behavior ? Or,is it “ do what I say ,not what I do? “
Are the parents eating nutritiously and are they physically and mentally healthy? California, for example, is the only state ,so far, that's prohibiting ultra processed foods being fed during lunch time. Again, it’s about making appropriate decisions with children .
.Are the parent's view on vaccinations consonant with their choices and decisions regarding their own health and /or is it based on science or lies.? 5. Parental behavior and decision making related to computer games, iPhones and social media.are significant. For instance, some school districts are banning I phones for good mental health reasons. Moreover, Utah has limited pornographyand there's a backlash against online gambling . Yet, The Daily Caller, a prominent conservative online publication, published an online opinion calling for violence in response to physical assaults on conservatives in America. Studies have shown that many parents are unhappy that they allowed their children to have iPhones too early. 6. With divorce,there's tremendous social economic strain resulting in mothers working while the child has to deal and cope with after school programs, babysitters, older sibs, grandparents, as "parents."Capitalism does not benefit all.
In conclusion,i. Too many of our children , young adults and families are experiencing mental health issues 2. Psychologically, foundations of character and personality are formed very early based on nature and nurture 3. Parents that exhibit an excessive need for affection are experiencing much anxiety, hostility and an incapacity to love 4. Children reared within these families are saddled with negative psychological conditions and barriers for obtaining favorable mental health. 4.Outlawing birth control and abortion is unjust ,criminal and another contributing factor for harming children 5..With capitalism, resources are exploited , just like what we are doing with our children.
Reference
Horney, Karen. The Neurotic Personality Oo Our Time.
Mussen,Conger ,Kagan. Child Development and Personality
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