Thursday, June 6, 2024

Separation and Union

 Sigmund Freud and Otto Rank  both theorized about the trauma of birth despite their theoretical differences ,Both agreed about its importance . .  For example, the embryo  exists in a state of bliss  and/ or pleasure and comfort as it is “protected” during  development.  It's freely nourished and develops generally  without interruption nor without any demand placed upon it.  At birth, the neonate's protection, safety, comfort , pleasure and nurturance dramatically  changes.  Tension and/or anxiety surfaces for the first time and that is associated with its disruption from the womb.  This initial state of  anxiety is considered the prototype , the origin so to speak ,or an imprint in the developing brain. This disposition addresses  that separation , union and loneliness .


The birth which is accompanied by the emergence of  anxiety, which signals  danger.  The embryo  existed without any effort on its part for its survival.  With birth, it  now requires initiative on its part  for survival . Then, any change or  separation  from the mother , results and begins a state of  fear , anxiety and insecurity . The infant,in order to reduce  the fear ,anxiety  and terror of being alone, separate and  being unprotected requires a union.  Research  by Stanley Schachter  studied  and found that separation  is accompanied by anxiety which propels an individual to seek union and  the subjects preferred to be with another  rather than being alone.  Henry A Murray In his theory of Personology reported about the importance of the Affiliative need.  This basic human need is associated with cooperation ,pleasing another, affection and remaining loyal.  


 During the  development from primary to secondary narcissism,  the first caretaker or mother represents that first protector, the provider of nurturance, safety , love, and security  or not.  As a result, the mother or mother figure represents the first  psychological role model or basis during development for good  or for a bad union .


With development from primary to secondary narcissism , the newborn initially establishes an authoritarian conscience  It learns right from wrong based on the power, commands and dictates of the parenting figures.  The parents standards and only the  parental standards are the rule.  If obeyed, it pleases parents and that is accompanied with  their smiles, love, protection, security and acceptance.  If the standards of the parents are not obeyed, that is followed by anger, disappointment, punishment, disapproval, loss of love, rejection ,being abandoned and loneliness. In the Old Testament, God's punishment of rejection and abandonment of Abel was more powerful and severe than allowing  him to be slain ..  


When parenting  rearing styles are based on authoritarian principles,compared to democratic  ones,  these behaviors are based on control , resulting in there being less warmth,  nurturance, affection or sympathy with their children. An authoritarian parenting style is also associated with being highly controlling with rigid power and not encouraging the  child to express himself when he disagrees with them.  Children being reared in authoritarian households have difficulty  developing  independence , objectivity and humanistic morals .


With an authoritarian conscience and being reared with authoritarian parenting standards  results in impaired  ego development.  For instance, with secondary narcissism ,and when coupled with potential fixation on a powerful mother and father figure,  results in  excessive loyalty, dependence  and pleasing behaviors for children. During social development , that  proneness for attachment , loyalty etc. becomes generalized and is transferred  to a tribe , flag , country, religion or political figure .  Although there is a degree of  authoritarian tendency  in everyone , it becomes a problem  when there is a preponderance or a proclivity in that  direction . With an extraordinary attachment and dependency  to another figure , that affects  one's capacity to fully relate  with empathy to different others , not in the same tribe, because that individual has identified with the commands and follows those values , prejudices of that powerful  figure.  It's that striving, and a  desire for protection regardless of the character , integrity and humanness of the protector. In essence, this dependency or attachment becomes a negative contributing factor and interferes in the  development of a more encompassing union . With the regression of being stuck in a state of fixation on an authoritarian figure ,frees the individual from taking   mature adult  responsibility for  actions based on humanistic ,moral and ethical principles..In other words, there's a transference, a  need for union ,love, acceptance, and protection to an external  authoritarian source regardless .


When there is interference for independence and integrity , individuals are not free to be  neither themselves nor have any convictions of their  own as they become other directed.  They rationalize, and it becomes their duty to surrender , to obey and to support  . He is so wonderful. .It's a privilege and noble to obey  and a sin to disobey him . These character types remain bound in their fixation to the external source with the wish to remain tied  and an unconscious fear of being free, of being alone and being helpless.


In the Old Testament ,the book  Exodus provides an example of the problem of developing independence and separation from an authoritarian power ..  Moses took the Israelites out of bondage from Ramsey.  During their 40 years of exile, the  Israelites had difficulty with their freedom.  They regressed and  wanted to go back to the safety and protection  of the Pharaoh. They  built false idols, which were familiar to them.  According to the story , It took 40 years , the deaths of the original group , for the  Israelites to learn and pursue freedom ,  and to establish growth  ,truth , moral , ethical values and  independence.


Loneliness is a symptom of birth trauma and separation,dynamic . It's been reported that more than 1/5 of Americans over 18 state they feel lonely or socially isolated.  Also, for older adults, social isolation has been linked to various adverse physical and psychological effects including increased risk of dementia and heart disease.  The symptom of  loneliness  can suggest interference in  developing adequate secondary narcissism. In this case, the parental or caretaker, attachment does not at all represent consistent trust, security, safety, comfort, love, but instead mistrust ,danger and fear. One option for the newborn or child is a withdrawal  from the other which generalizes to others during lifespan. Parental mistrust , results and is associated with the development of paranoia . With paranoia, the person projects his hate ,resentment, anger, prejudice and fear onto others, making others very dangerous .  Also , the moving away from others with self absorption and/or egotism  is associated with primary narcissism and conditions of autism,depression, anxiety,  schizophrenia, and other psychological disorders.  Further, it's not difficult to find loneliness with drug and alcohol addiction ,PTSD , shyness  and  homeless populations   Moreover, our capitalistic economic system also contributes to loneliness with its abstraction of meaningless work , becoming  a cog or number in the entire manufacturing production process.There is too much alienation without authenticity  coupled with morbidity and insignificance for far too many. Hateful, insignificant social media contributes as well to a dangerous world . 


In order to treat loneliness, one has to be able to diagnose and assess contributing causal  factors.  Despite that reality, there have been  superficial quick fix solutions like encouraging people to join a group.  Even big Pharma has designed a loneliness pill supposedly to reduce stress , isolation and increase unions. Unfortunately, side effects such as sleeping disorders and cardiology issues  are concerning .This reminds me of Huxley’s Brave New World .


A grieving individual suffering from loss, but has developed sufficient secondary  narcissism has the necessary psychic supplies for  appropriate treatment along with medication to deal with anxiety and depression.  Individuals without an adequate development of secondary and social narcissism are at a disadvantage which makes treatments problematic.  In other words, all loneliness is not the same and needs to be evaluated for realistic outcomes . Visiting a primary care physician for  a 20 minute appointment is hardly the solution for a differential  diagnosis. These unfortunates require a realistic reparenting program designed to foster a sense of trust between human beings


Neurology with its mapping of the brain has identified areas in the amygdala, hypothalamic pituitary  adrenal axis that contribute to loneliness and a poorly functioning brain.  It's been suggested that a rewiring of the brain can occur with appropriate positive social interactions. However, social media doesn't rebuild efficient  rewiring or brain functioning.


Our  unbalanced socioeconomic system along with parenting irregularities , contribute to the symptom of  loneliness.  Loneliness  nor implanting trust can't be repaired by surgery . As of now, we do not have the  political will , the resources or priorities to replace mistrust with trust , overcoming toxic parenting or authoritarian politicians.  Additionally,policies like making abortion a crime , banning books and allowing access to dangerous weapons,  attacking the criminal justice  and voting system  only increases  isolation, hate, sadism, disrespecting moral, ethical and humanistic values..Profit,not children adults, others  or loneliness are the country’s most precious values . On the other hand, the theme of union and separation remains per month.  The lifespan of humans.  Everyone is effective.  Just pay attention to the many novels and movies addressing those themes . The significance of unions and separation cannot be understated, as they provide an insight  into  well-being.


Reference


The New York Times July 16, 2023.  If Loneliness Is an Epidemic, How Do We Treat It?


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