Hedonism and the doctrines of Aristippus and Epicurus continued with Jefferson’s “ Pursuit of Happiness.” Then came Sigmund Freud and Henry Murray. They described instinct and need thereby expanding the concept of motivation. They found that man was also driven with aggression, destruction and ways to hurt himself. Think of the following Irrational behaviors regarding Homo sapiens in a pandemic: 1. Heading to Times Square to celebrate New Year’s 2. Taking cruises 3. Going to airports . Further, think of individuals engaging in but not limited to:1. Climbing the 14 tallest peaks in the world in seven months-see the documentary 2. Marrying, divorcing and remarrying the same person again 3.Playing football–more on that later. Additionally, “nature versus nurture” and the”pleasure principle “ have been used to describe man’s motivation.This disquisition focuses on positive and negative valences during child development.
A positive valence consists of gratification of needs; pleasure,satisfaction and goal attainment experiences. A negative valence consists of terror, fear, anxiety, non-pleasure, non- goal attainment, stress and frustration experiences. All of us began life by experiencing positive and negative valences resulting from our caretaker In various environmental conditions. Rank suggests that negative valence begins at birth However, It can be argued that if the caretaker abused drugs, alcohol and other stresses during pregnancy, a negative valence history begins.
There’s been much research regarding parenting during critical periods of growth and development.Classic studies by Spitz and Bowlby revealed major emotional difficulties with institutionalized children. Although these non- nurtured children were fed, they were nonresponsive, depressed and retarded emotionally and cognitively. Adler, on the other hand ,studied spoiled children and he concluded that these children became threats to society. Today’s research concludes that being spoiled with permissive parenting has negative psychological effects on growth and development.
All of us start out with physiological and biological needs. We require food, liquid, warmth, holding and nurturance. Additionally, we have safety needs that require emotional security,provided by the caretaker that includes shelter, job security, health and safety.Thus, nature and nurture are givens. As far as feeding, the infant primarily communicates distress by fussing and crying.There is no exact formula or time allotment as to determine the amount of duration of allowing the child to cry. And during feeding, was the child held, comforted and talked to consistently? Has the child received enough sustenance? How did the caretaker determine if there was enough sustenance every time? Mother knows by what formula, determination ,education ,training etc.? Can that mother teach that intangible information to others? Additional complications were exposed from Harry Harlow’s research. His wire meshed fed monkeys did not emotionally fare well,without warm contact, compared to the terrycloth fed monkeys.In other words, employing positive and negative valences, what ratio would be established? Has the infant received all positive valence experiences during feeding or has that infant received a lot of negative valence experiences during feeding? Likely, depending upon the socioeconomic, mental and emotional status of the caretaker, we find significant differences. Irrespective, no infant has received all positive emotional valences during feeding.
The same questions regarding positive and negative valence can be applied to liquid nourishment, warmth, cold, talked to quietly, diaper changing etc. Once again no child has received all positive emotional valences during their growth and development.The initial period for child development is critical .Children likely have received some form of gratification, pleasure etc. Although the child can’t possibly cognitively define love, it is assumed that with parents, the child experiences some sense of love and the parent and/or parents become the first love object. When that young child first says three magic words “I Love You,” all is well in the universe.Not so with the words “I Hate You.”
Now let’s turn to negative valences. One negative valence, in particular, is a major dilemma and unfortunate dynamic of Homo sapien nature . In addition to loving and appreciating the caretakers, it is the caretakers that establish and transmit right and wrong. This process is the result of physical, verbal, right or wrong punishment. And, In authoritarian households, heavy use of corporal punishment is employed. Regardless, punishment is not only the loss of love but also physically and emotionally detrimental. As a consequence, the child learns fear, terror, aggressiveness and becomes terrified of that caretaker. The words” this is hurting me more than it is hurting you” is irrelevant and not true. In essence, the consequence of ambivalence, which is the state of having mixed and contradictory feelings regarding parents, becomes a harsh reality . This means love, like,dislike and hate has been established. With generalization, It has a serious imprint with severe emotional consequences for all future unions . In essence we love and hate the ones that care for us, meet our needs because they are associated with both positive and negative emotional valences.We can’t get around this conundrum. The fact that it's an unconscious dynamic, means that this is a lifelong dilemma for all Homo sapiens. We carry around, as if imprinted, a sense of love and hate which are positive and negative valences that have been acquired and have accumulated during infancy and childhood. The accumulative effect of these ambivalence feelings become who we are.
Other significant negative valences include: Do parents argue, flight, become irritated during off hour feedings,with slammed doors, scowls, making loud noises,have leaky roofs,become unemployed,separate, divorce and seem either or both frightened and aggressive? Do caretakers have to deal with illness, doctor visits and other unintended events? Do caretakers have to deal with snow, sleet, ice, storms, hurricanes,tornadoes, fires and other natural disasters?If the answers are yes to any of the above, we know that yes means that the infant is also affected. Once again how many negative valences occurred during one’s experience?
All in all, the first five years of growth are extremely important. A ground-floor for character and personality development becomes established. With a strong ratio of positive valence experiences, the tendency to develop a sense of trust can be established. With trust the child develops the capacity for” giving” as in liking, loving, appreciating, respecting, and nurturing other human beings.With negative valence experiences ,the child develops the capacity to develop a sense of mistrust. With mistrust, the capacity for” taking’ as in disliking, hating, being suspicious, being disrespectful, being withholding, being aggressive ,being exploitative and being domineering with others becomes the norm. In essence, mental illness behaviors spread like wildfires.Three years of Covid-19 and its variants,adds to the difficulties of effective and healthy parenting.
More specifically, other potential negative valences that can and does occur within the family and add accumutively to this distrust. This means there are physical, sexual and emotiona maltreatment of one family member by another. Elements of control and abuse of power by the person committing violence are necessary components.These violent situations can be chronic with the damage. Damage can occur with only one occurrence. A few points:1. Negative valence can occur with or without blood ties 2. The child does not have to see or overhear acts of violence taking place. All the child needs to know is that he’s aware of such violence occurring 3. Differences between men and women in size and strength often lead to different levels of fear , intimidation and injury 4. The victim often wants to escape the violence but also belongs to a family-ambivalence 5. Affection and attention may coexist with violence and abuse as far as the cycle of abusive behavior 6.The intensity of the violence tends to increase over time although in some cases physical violence may decrease or even stop altogether 7. Poverty, unemployment,lack of access to services, prejudice and discrimination occur as variables 8. As early as 1985 ,the US Surgeon General declared family violence as a national epidemic. It’s believed that abuse and violence are significantly underreported and that large segments of the population especially women and children are affected 9.Being exposed to family violence may have a significant effect on family members that are not directly involved as victims or victimizers. This is called secondary victimization. 10.An abuser uses physical, sexual or psychological coercion or intimidation for the purpose of achieving power and control or family members to punish them for not meeting the abuser’s needs 11.Spanking a child, a form of discipline ,may have a short-term positive effects but may also have unintended negative consequences like modeling aggression 12. Many adults retain some conscious memory of their abuse experience even if they do not fully understand it or disclose it to others. Consciousness of the abuse may include total memory, partial memory or memories that are assessable on a fluctuating basis 13. Violence is often learned behavior and much of that learning takes place in the home 14. Marital fighting; guns in the home; violent environment or neighborhood and the relationship between alcohol and drug abuse are the best predictors of future violence
Turning to football provides an excellent illustration of ambivalence between coach and its players. Thom Darden was recruited by Bo Schembechler. However, that first meeting turned Thom off and he wanted no part of Schembechler. As a sophomore at the University of Michigan, Darden was greeted by his new coach-Schembechler. In fact Schembechler said to Thom, “You thought you could get rid of me.” Thom, Initially hated the coach because of the way Schembechler treated players during spring drills and on the playing field. Coach treated all
disrespectfully and some more than others.He kicked Jim Betts ,his quarterback, in the ass ,for messing up a play. Jim, after practice ,approached Schembechler, confronted him and told him he didn’t want to be treated that way.That was the last time Schembechler kicked Jim in the ass. Afterwards, All Pro Darden returned to visit Schembechler. He cried with the coach as they talked about Schembechler’s loss. Darden exhibited loyalty and love for Schembechler ever since.
Just think of positive emotional valence. Making first team All American; playing for an outstanding team; playing in the Rose Bowl; First round NFL draft pick ; All Pro; receiving top-notch education ;making lifelong friends are some of the positives. As far as negative emotional valences, being verbally abused by a coach, having to condition and scrimmage in hot weather;expected to dominate the opponent; and all the overuse physical injuries and don’t forget about CTE. Yes, life is full of positive and negative experiences. Are the negatives dominating?
More than likely most people in our Republic during infancy, childhood and adulthood have accumulated too many negative emotional experiences. With that being said, It’s no wonder why we have so much difficulty getting along with each other and mental illness. It’s apparent why we require affiliation.but, we bring along ambivalence of love ,hate, dependency,terror, and fear at the same time. Guns do not provide the solution for fear,hate and mistrust. Based on repetition compulsion , we tend to repeat and make so many crazy irrational mistakes . No wonder after World War I, Sigmund Freud added the aggressive and destructive drive to his psychodynamic model of man’s thinking and behavior.He would agree that mental illness is on the rise.
References
Lieberman Frank. Bo’s Warriors Bo Schembechler and theTransformation of Michigan Football,Triumph Books.
Violence and the Family, American Psychological Association.
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