Old, Are you kidding?
Last week during
one of my 10 mile trail runs, I stopped and talked with Chris. Chris was a
long-distance runner for Sac State; a ride and tie champion; a sub 24 hour
Western States competitor; my trainer and friend for my Western States run; a
ride and tie and running partner. Chris asked me if I was going to run 81 miles
during my birthday week. I told him, that I’m using Tony, my running partner
friend, as an excuse. For most of the year Tony has been on Whidbey Island
building a second home and is still there. If you want a motorcycle or kayak
built or a computer or printer serviced, a running or pacing partner, or want
to know where to get ice cream, Tony’s the “stud muffin.” Tony also has completed the Tevis 10 times.
This disquisition has to do with old, aging and character.
After that
meeting with Chris, I thought more about my tradition of running the same
number of miles per week as my age. I had an epiphany. Why not run 10 miles for
six more days? Doing so, would give me 70 miles for that week. I did just that. With more thought, I came up
with the brilliant idea of using 70 as a base and then I would subtract 1 mile
each year. So in 2021, I would run 69 miles in that week and so forth. By
implementing this original proposal, did this mean I’m getting old? No, I’m
going to differentiate between “aging” and “old.”
At one time
in our history, “old” was a condition independent of years. In fact there was
value in having a special category not related to aging or death. Notably, old
was both an endless and ageless character. Old masters paintings and old
manuscripts are viewed as illustrations that have nothing to do with dying but instead
lasting. Paleontology, archaeology and geology are studies of the old. Also,
the word “old” was defined as something fully nourished, grown-up and matured. Benefits
of old included trustworthiness, venerability, proverbially, and value. In the
poem “Beowulf,” oldness was related to virtues of nobility, mercy, esteem and
power. However later, Shakespeare used old as an instrument of insult and
ridicule. His examples were “old and foul,” “old and wicked,” “old and
miserable,” and “old and deformed”. Since Shakespeare, the word old has
negative connotations.
Why not change,
reframe and return to the previous meanings of old. For instance, I like my old
and comfortable shoes, my old friends - Beverly, Rita, Lorna, Gail, Ferris,
Dave, Maylon, Emmett, Rick, songs like Laura Nyro’s “Eli’s Comin” and ”
Silhouettes” by the Rays , movies like
“On The Waterfront,” visiting the British Museum, the Louvre, pyramids in
Cancun, Roman Coliseum, visiting Thomas Jefferson’s home in Monticello, visiting
Salem Witch Village in Massachusetts, visiting Anne Frank’s home in Denmark
going through checkpoint Charlie in
order to eat in East Berlin, and novels like Ernest Hemingway’s “Old Man and
the Sea,” and reading history books. I like history and that would’ve been my
second major. Old can be, with the importance of long term memory, a life review
of imagination that brings to life the wonders of all those long-lasting,
informative, special and exciting relevant emotional events. It’s the power of imagination
that deepens the integrity of character.
Unfortunately
our society has discredited old and aging in our capitalistic process. It’s now
about youth, new and beauty. Becoming old in our society is not valued at all.
For example, the following has become reality: 1. the enormous number of nonscientific
supplements available at health food stores 2. Numerous nonscientific creams,
salves and lotions for skincare 3. A lot of products to improve hair, hair
color and to grow hair 4. Cosmetic surgery to reduce and increase breast size
and shape 5. Botox and other surgeries for changing body shape 6. Many fitness
centers and home products like Peloton and NordicTrack 7. Many apps and
personal trainers 8. Many diet and losing weight programs 9. Many books,
information and apps to increase aging, compensating for HGH, estrogen and
progesterone, testosterone, antiaging tips, increasing telomeres etc. 10. Many
College classes and TV programs on Well-Being.
Despite the propaganda
and irrespective of this multi-billion dollar industry, we have the following
facts: 1. Greater proportion of older individuals that have illness and death
due to Covid-19 2. Three quarters of the population are either overweight
and/or obese 3. Physical illnesses on the rise like cancer, arteriosclerosis,
hypertension, heart disease, osteoporosis, depression etc. 4. Decrease in life
span rates 5. Increase in convalescent centers, retirement communities, home
healthcare, reverse mortgage and other insurance programs. Something is definitely not right and amiss.
I have data
to support healthy aging. In my book “It Has Nothing To Do With Age,” I
interviewed athletic individuals 65 years of age and older that were still
competing in extreme sports. Yes, they were not as strong, as fast, as youthful
as they were in their past. However, they were involved in a personal activity
that provided a sense of mastery, achievement, recognition, meaning and
pleasure as well as pain. In other words, they had fire in their belly that
fueled their ability to compete at extraordinary levels. It’s simply about their character. Character
doesn’t diminish, it’s only the physiology in the body that changes. Character
is key.
Yes, skin
sags, eyesight fails, memory plays tricks, hair turns color, physical strength
changes, over use injury surfaces, and running speed slows along with other
cell death physiological differences. But what doesn’t change is my character,
passion, motivation and attitude about running. I continue to enjoy being
outdoors with my thoughts while being with nature. I look forward to running
again with Tony when he returns from Whidbey Island.
We can learn
much from Greek mythology regarding the process of aging. However, our beliefs,
attitudes, and in some cases wisdom seems to be set. Our good and bad behaviors
seem to become more cemented with age. We tend to repeat what we think and what
we do over and over. In other words, despite the physical shape of our body,
the strength of good and bad character seems intact.
According to
Aristotle, the body is governed by its form, the psyche by the character of the
psyche. It has no cause other than itself in it fills itself by doing what it is naturally
suited to do, which is also its pleasure. It’s been stated that old women gain
their power by living long. In Socrates “The Republic,” Cephalus concluded “the
doleful literary of all the miseries which they blame old-age…, there is just
one cause, not old-age but the character of the man.” In Cicero’s De
Senec-tute, “old men are morose, troubled, fretful and hard to please;… Some of
them are misers too. However these are
faults of character not of age.” Spinoza’s definition of essence “the endeavor
to persist in its own being.”
From Greek
mythology, we find an acting out of human affairs dramatizing struggles in the
life process. Hercules was an archetypal hero with a willful image of aging. He
had many hand-to-hand struggles with death [Thanatos] and with Hades the god of
the underworld. Muscled Hercules had these terrific confrontations throughout
his life symbolizing unparalleled strength. He never aged. However, his curse
was that he became insane. Geras was a bald bent emancipated figure with
pendant and reversed genitals. You could see him leaning upon a thin crooked
stick while Hercules holds a huge studded club. However we find this
personified figure in geriatrics, gerontology which is the study of old age. Tithonos
was a human whose wish was granted of living forever. However, he neglected to
specify at his present youthful age so he was cursed to live on and on forever
growing older. Sisyphus, was punished by Zeus for eternity with pushing a rock
up the hill. Once Sisyphus reached the hill top, the rock rolled back down
again for another do over. Symbolizing
the persistent struggle in life against the absurdity of life or the repetition
of irrational behavior is obvious to all. Sisyphus persisted in his own being
as defined by his character. Socrates stated “To know thyself is the beginning
of wisdom.”
When I was
in private psychotherapy practice, I met a number of individuals looking for
assistance in knowing thyself. Unfortunately, it’s very difficult to change
attitudes, beliefs, irrational thinking and self-defeating behavior let alone
the emotions connected with various conflicts. With a lifetime of non-logical
thinking and poor decision-making, it’s easy to find an external source or
scapegoat for blame for one’s psychological and/or emotional state of being. As
a result, knowing thyself and making a positive and continuous change was very
difficult. I agree with Spinoza “the endeavor to persist in its own being.”
Yes, I am
aging and have experienced many physiological changes over the past 8 decades.
But I am not old. However, I continue to look forward, have motivation and
drive to achieve, think objectively, employ wisdom, avoid self-defeating
behaviors, nourish significant interpersonal relationships and continue to
laugh at myself. Do I have to run 81 miles this year, 82 miles the next year
etc. in a week? No, but running provides meaning, a sense of accomplishment,
and good physical health which reinforces and fuels my passion which
encompasses my character. Remember, reframe old, and acknowledge aging with
lasting character.
Reference
Hillman,
James. The Force of Character and the
Lasting life. Random House 1999
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