Friendship

The article “Should I Make Friends As I Get Older” in the February 26, 2018 Time magazine had suggestions on the “how to.” Loneliness has increased and considered an epidemic despite the popularity of social media. In fact social media might be a contributing factor with its superficiality and anonymity. One doesn’t have to put in much effort to tweet etc., to be emotionally engaged or directly risk rejection.

Studies found that loneliness increased risk of dying by 26%, and was more deadly than obesity and air pollution.  Factors that influenced mortality included increased heart rate, higher blood pressure or hypertension and cardiovascular disease. In other words, loneliness was not good for the heart. On the other hand, one study found that friendships in old age were a stronger predictor of well- being than family ties. I’ll bet that some are unable to find the wisdom in that study. One can always turn to their pets as did this 92 year old man “A lot of my friends have passed away. But I have Princess my late wife’s Pomeranian. She’s there to greet me and sit on my lap while I watch TV. She gives me all the affection I need. She makes my life worthwhile.”

Research studies on health and illness point to the benefits of human connection.  92 year old Meyer Seidman’s statement was included, in the article.  It was implied that a pet, in his case a dog, was related to his well-being. However, what can be concluded from his statement? How physically healthy was Meyer? Was Meyer the best judge of his physical health? How cognitively and emotionally healthy was Meyer? What was Meyer’s definition of worthwhile? Would a video taping of the Meyer house hold give a fuller picture of Meyer in his daily living?  What would Meyer’s medical doctor conclude after a physical was performed?  How important was the Pomeranian lap dog in the equation?

 I concluded that Meyer’s statement was just what it is and doesn’t support the idea that a dog is a friend, there by contributing to longevity. His credibility and reliability are in question.  In Howard’s “How to live to 100 Years Old: 16 Lifestyle Characteristics of the Oldest and Healthiest People in the World, “he reported that his conclusions were based on 24 studies of 100 year olds around the world. Of the 16 characteristics, there were no mention of pets or more specifically a dog as being a contributing factor.  For those doubter’s ,I end with a Josh Billings quote “ It is better not to know so much than to know so many things that ain’t so.”

Personally, within the past year, I had lost one of my dearest friends Jonathan Jordan and my Border Collie Sherry. These two occurrences have left their scares. It has not been easy because of the sadness, loss and joy connected with the many flashbacks of memories. One of the issues in aging is the out- living of those that matter most. There’s no magic pill to fix living with loss.