Sunday, January 20, 2019

Living in the Western World Part 3


Just think, while in high school and living in the Palo Alto area, about the importance of education and the pressure in being admitted to the most prestigious university.  Each individual has their own aspiration, ranking system within their own milieu. Being first or the top of your class can be a success. However, coming in lower can be a failure with a mighty blow as to self-esteem. In sports, being ranked as a five-star athlete or being ranked as a three star athlete can also be problematic.
 Employing an example of a family or brother, competitive ranking from the NBA, can be made by comparing the younger brother Seth Curry with older brother Stephen Curry. How does this younger brother measure up in basketball aspirations and his degree of self-esteem to MVP, and world champion brother Stephen?  The answer is obvious. Seth can’t compete or dominate as a professional basketball player as his brother. Seth’s frustration, negative hostile feelings and fear of failure are part of his self-esteem. His ideal is based on reaching Stephan’s unbelievable skill and achievement.  That’s an example of a bar being set in the stratosphere and impossible to master or meet. Seth’s attitude of self is very different than his older brother. Likewise, his confidence is also very different. On the other hand Stephan’s high self-esteem and tremendous confidence go hand-in-hand. Further, he’s handled his fear of failure remarkably well. Likewise, this 30-year-old superstar is likable, as well as humble.
Rankings, polls, discussions about dynasties are frequent in the many radio and TV programs related to sports. Who was the greatest coach, quarterback, basketball player, team etc. gets replayed over and over. Further, the tendency to diminish or minimize loss or failure to self-esteem is great because of the unpleasantness of anxiety, along with all the negatives which are detrimental self-appraisals. In essence, one’s reference group can have an unbelievable high bar. A high bar can affect one’s level of aspiration and the probability of success. Success and performance breeds success, while poor performance or failure breeds despair, unworthiness and feelings of being inferior. As life is filled with experiences, and experience affects one’s perception of oneself, we carry our self-esteem to the grave.
To Be Continued

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