Ego Identity and Young Mothers Part 4

Being unmarried, pregnant and dependent affects her child’s psychological development in that the mother’s identity was flawed with a sense of role diffusion. What values of right and wrong did the young child incorporate? What did he/she learn about choices and consequences? Generally, a mother and father dynamic, provides the child with a better opportunity for the development of an appropriate gender role. If the young mother was unable to be independent and had difficulty separating from her family, then it is more than likely that she is going to pass that  personality trait on to her offspring. Likewise, if she was unable to accept herself, that’s not a good formula for the development for healthy self-esteem of her child as the apple does not fall far from the tree. Her lack of acceptance for self can also be passed on to the child by her being overprotective. Overprotective mothers are commonly hostile mothers, and restrict their child’s freedom. By being over protective, these rejecting mothers likely employed an exaggerated denial of their indifference and rejection.  Difficulty knowing herself, has negative consequences for child rearing in that her anxiety and ambivalence, regarding decision making ,make it difficult for the child to  develop trust with his mother.

We have too many disturbed children, adolescents and young adults per statistics on antisocial behavior, poor school achievement, depression, drug use, suicide gestures and suicide behavior. A major understanding of why these statistics happen to the child, goes back to child rearing practices as personality is primarily formed within its first five years of development. This fact places tremendous responsibility and consequences on both parents. Mothers initially establish a symbiotic union with the youngster. It is in this most critical phase, that correct loving, nurturing and psychological based mothering is necessary. Because of this delicate and important period, state funds should be made available for the young, less educated, identity diffuse mothers. It’s clear that major changes are necessary if these psychological problems are going to be reversed. Parenting, takes more than stating that you view yourself as conservative or religious.

Perhaps the state could divert dollars from the overstuffed defense budget and create and implement a realistic parenting program for our future resources. This program would require professionally male and female trained non minimum wage staff; sufficient housing; additional education and/or career choice training opportunities; and creative and competent, psychological and medical care. There are certainly enough experts in government; at the universities; and local government to address this challenge. It might be unpopular to suggest that parents are failing, but it is a realization. Let’s start at the beginning and attempt to break this vicious cycle of ineptitude, inappropriate and misinformed parenting.