Finding Fairness

The word fair or fairness was recently expressed in conversations with friends. “How fair is that?” or “that doesn’t seem fair to me” are two examples. Fair is defined “in accordance with the rules or standards, legitimate and with synonyms: just, equitable, honest, upright, honorable, and trustworthy.” Certainly there’s a difference between how a king views fair compared to common folk. King Solomon, when confronted by two women regarding the ownership of a baby, told the women he would cut the baby in half and give each a half child . The birth mother replied, “No, give the entire baby to that woman” Wise King Solomon then knew whom the real mother was. Fair falls between the eyes of the beholder. For instance, two adults have intercourse and an embryo is conceived. Was that being fair to the embryo? What if one set of individuals come from high status, upper 1% economically, a certain religion, a particular country, a white race or other combination of socioeconomic factors compared to individuals from a low level of socioeconomic conditions, etc.? What about the DNA, or genetic level differences between the individuals? At conception, there can be profound differences associated with these significant facts. During time in the womb, a mother may smoke, drink, take drugs and have experiences with other environmental stresses that affect embryonic development. Obviously, the embryo has no control over the many factors that affect its development. One can easily argue about the idea of fairness. With birth, the infant is then subjected to parenting whims without any control. How often and how soon does the baby receive nourishment or get held when crying? Is it fair to the mother that she bears most of the feeding, diapering, and nurturing responsibility? What about the number and degree of positive reinforcements given compared to the number and degree of punishments given within parenting parameters? How was fairness determined in this arena? Being fair is usually defined, determined and implemented by the one that has the power and control. Education begins and there is more variability as far as the competence of teachers, reputation and excellency of the school and school district. Once again, fairness is determined by some other. Then we have coaches, and many other adults defining and determining the meaning of fairness per their own interpretation. The same process continues within the world of work with all the employment and salary situations that arise. Don’t forget about the perception of fairness within the marriage union. Society and culture has so many laws, rules and regulations that are administered and interpreted and enforced by some or a few. As a result, fairness or its absence can only be determined by perception. Perception is the result of cognitive and emotional dynamics. One’s cognitive and emotional makeup is determined by the entire mosaic of influences beginning from conception to the end of life. Unless you are the king -emperor, or can define, create and administer fairness, maybe fairness is simply a fantasy, and not applicable. PS Jimmy Gaoppolo, Tom Brady’s backup for most of the 2017 season and then traded , agreed to a $137.5 million contract or 27.5 million per year over five years with the San Francisco 49ers. This makes him the highest paid NFL player per year.