Friday, April 28, 2023

Politics

 


The cliché “ what makes Johnny click “ has been pondered by the greatest  philosophers.  Determinants of conduct have been explained as based on knowledge, instinct , free will ,unconscious factors, hedonism , needs etc.  Machiavelli , in the 16th century, observed the government of Florence.  He concluded , was inferior to those of ancient times and attributed the defects to education and to religion.  He saw  princes motivated to gain power by egoism.  Machiavelli thought that the major motives used to manipulate the populace were fear and love with fear being stronger and more durable.  This essay addresses fear with its implications and ramifications.


Otto Rank wrote about  birth, and man's motivation to avoid  separation anxiety.  Afterbirth, the infant's survival, security and well-being is primarily based on the mother or caretaker with its need for dependence and affiliation . Within this dyad, results  in the emotions  of fear, anxiety, tension and stress .These terms are used interchangeably.  While pursuing pleasure, security  and survival from the mother, it also experiences  conflict, frustration and tension with the object . In other words, the need for affiliation results in experiencing degrees of pleasure, love, comfort, as well as  elements  and expressions of tension, frustration, conflict, aggression, hate and hostility. Early learning experiences and their associations  first begin, according to Piaget, in the sensorimotor stage; then the preoperational stage ; the concrete  and finally the formal  operational stages of development . With that in mind , are examples of what can take place in the primitive mind of youngsters based on interactions with mother. 1.  The image of the caretaker might be something like,  if cared for, then  a "good" mother.  2.  The image of a "bad" mother resulting from the mother's tension  or preoccupation during feeding . Later, additional images can be formed - a seductive mother ; an overprotective mother ;  a helicopter mother ;  a spoiled child mother etc. These memories can be repressed ,denied , modified or rationalized over time..


A second example taking place in the primitive mind pertains to associative learning as illustrated by Franz Kafka in one of his short stories. “ A dog who lived in a kennel, surrounded by a high fence, was urinating one day when a bone was thrown over the fence.  The dog thought, "My urinating made that bone appear."  Thereafter, whenever he wanted something to eat.  He lifted his leg. “  A human  example would be crying and then receiving the nipple . To receive a nipple, a crying  response is learned.


 Returning to the nursing situation ,in the sensorimotor stage of cognitive development, in which a hungry, tense baby is  seeking  to satisfy hunger, security  and relief from a tense ,harassed ,tired  immature  mother .The  baby’s goal is to reduce hunger which is pleasure.  Within this frequent situation, the infant "learns,"  remembers and develops expectancies . Is the nipple  "Good" because satisfaction is coming; good, but "unsatisfactory" because the baby is  not hungry; " wrong"  because the nipple doesn't give milk;  or "bad" nipple because the mother is anxious, not available, hurried inconsistent or  preoccupied.  Henry Harlow's research demonstrated the emotional benefits for a held baby , during feeding, with tactile warmth versus  without . In contrast to the emotional deficits in having a bottle propped for the baby to function on its own.


During the sensorimotor, preoperational , and concrete stages of cognitive development, the baby learns, within its dyadic interactions.  Mother can be good or bad ; father can be good or bad  as can siblings and others . Further, the  perception , the memories, the  primitive learning  ( lack of knowledge, vocabulary, information and inability to abstract )  personal  images - the personifications of  things , ideas , persons or groups are formed ,although limited and affect reality . Moreover, with primitive cognitive development, associations , oversimplifications , images, biases ,fear based prejudices and paranoid  ideas are formed in the  mind within  cognitive  stages  of  development . 


 These representations become ground-floor or  a foundation for biases, prejudices or inflated goodness that interfere  with developing a sense of empathy .Furthermore, The Golden Rule suggests we treat others the way we want to be treated.  However, if primitive  thinking and irrational behavior is the norm, we don't want to be influenced by them in the same way.  With empathy, we can love another and recognize our neighbors as separate human beings.  Without empathy, human relations suffer. In other words ,during cognitive development, we create images of good, bad, ugly , With the capacity for  abstract , objective , scientific,  logical, moral , and ethical thinking, beliefs  can be  changed and modified . If not, one can be fixated at primitive levels and accompanied with cognitive dissonance ( taking in information based on  the preexisting) behavior. Primitive thinking distortions  interfere with evaluating objectivity, truth , reality and with meaningful unions.


During my cognitive development, my personification included  Gov. G.Mennen Williams ,called “ Soapy “(  Colgate- Palmolive  family) . My dad's friend Harry Sears said the governor was "clean."  Unions were personified, along with fighting discrimination and  prejudice because my father was president of the union and all colors of people visited our home   Later on, I visited  the Teamsters union hall  on Jefferson Ave. with Jimmy Hoffa.  Outside in the parking lot, during winter, were men wearing long overcoats adjacent to parked black cadillac’s . Labor Day in Detroit was a big deal and another of my personifications as was the  Jefferson -Jackson  Dinner . I also have a picture of Dad  with the Governor signing  protective legislation for postal workers  from dog bites. Years later, when my father retired , I heard many  testimonials and accomplishments attributed to him based on his leadership at those special and memorable  retirement dinners.  That reinforced my understanding of the benefits of union leadership .


Empathy, humanism, fair play,  truth, also became personified  based on identifications . My father’s mission of assisting others irrespective of religious belief ,skin color , righting a wrong , fighting discrimination and prejudice was a common reality.  His cognitive, emotional and compassionate empathy was expressed daily. Note, my brother and sister also learned and practiced empathy in their careers .  


Proceeding from cognitive development, we turn  attention to  the negative consequences of tension. Tension can be positive or pleasurable as with infatuation or can be negative as with pain and discomfort .  Research has documented that excessive negative  stress creates a  wide range of ailments. They range from mental frustration, anxiety, depression, headaches, allergies, ulcers, to heart disease.  In the long run ,excessive stress  shrinks brain size  , wears down the immune system and leads to cancer and other diseases. Negative stress increases the body's production of free radicals and is associated with the  stimulation of the adrenal glands that produces the stress hormones cortisol , epinephrine  and norepinephrine  which then burn energy at a high rate. Free radicals become the polluting byproduct . This occurrence sets off a chain reaction resulting in still more free radicals .  Free radicals are associated with hypertension, ulcers, myocardial infarction, diabetes,  infections, arthritis, cerebrovascular accidents, psychosis, cirrhosis, along with Parkinson's, multiple sclerosis and Alzheimer's disease.  Also, high levels of cortisone diminish muscle growth and are associated  with acne, alcoholism and obesity. Note, that not all levels of stress are the same.  Death of a spouse is much more significant than a weight gain of 10 pounds.  However, it's the  constant bombardment of fear ( which we are not equipped to withstand) that's perpetuated within our society by our current  political state .


Fear remains a constant  “brainwashing”  device politically.  Locally, we elect representatives to city , county , state and federal offices.  With gerrymandering, a political party can ensure its stronghold on  areas ensuring its power and control.  Thus , we have the likelihood of minority rule with doctored boundaries.  North Dakota has two senators as does California  which is another example of an uneven playing field .  Five members of the Supreme Court determined abortion to be a crime, another example of minority power. More  threats to well-being include the potential government default regarding the debt;  the burning of books, eliminating teaching of CRT, discriminating against LGBT and  others.  Do not forget the war in Ukraine,  ”rioting “ in the street because of the Trump indictment, murder of children in the schools, rising mortgage rates, inflation,  discriminating against the right to vote by Blacks and college students, income inequality and so many other fear based threats. And, the purpose of the Texas Senate passing a bill requiring the irrelevant 10 Commandments to be prominently displayed in every single classroom ? 

Believing a pathological liar and incorporating “ fair and balanced “ lies from Fox news pertains to the 10 Commandments . Unfortunately, the identity of many of these folks is related to being manipulated by the big lie. The Fox news payout  exposes their fear of being wrong and  becomes dangerous because they have to maintain that  Illusion. .In other words, the  reality of truth is a threat,  because they have nothing to gain by it and will simply make them sick .The cliche “ the truth hurts “ fits. 


In conclusion, the employment  of  political fear-based tactics is not new but continues today and significant in perpetuating illusions regarding security , freedom and justice.  Our current state of knowledge depicts Homo sapiens as anxious, insecure , requiring dependence while seeking security, comfort,pleasure ,happiness or power, possession  and status within human dynamisms.  Research has well documented the implications and negative ramifications of the dangers associated with fear, anxiety, stress, and tension.  With that being said, it's not surprising that our country again is at a critical crossroads with its inordinate amounts of physical and mental sickness . At the present, our governmental process  is based on a  plutocracy rather than a democracy because  of the wealthy super PACs dictating policy. Their goal is egoism and greed ,not empathy or humanism. Take it from Machiavelli, fear works politically,  in  large part ,based upon education and religion. 


Reference


Klatz, Ronald and Goldman, Robert.  Stopping the Clock.

Sullivan, H.  S.  Conceptions of Modern Psychiatry.


Friday, April 21, 2023

Healthy Aging Obstacles

 


Does the cliché "ignorance is bliss" fit our Stone Age ancestors as they ate nutritiously;  were physically fit; met their sexual  affiliative and procreation  passions; and did not experience acute stress?  Their genes, and human functioning - thinking, perceiving, emoting and movement  worked well for them . Then  ,about 12,000 years ago, human psychology evolved with the agricultural revolution,  industrialization, technology, information, science, religion, economics ,laws, politics , medicine etc. However, with  the development of civilization  and with  essentially similar body and brain structure ,  man created  additional  conflicts, frustrations, contradictions and discord affecting  health  This essay addresses  complexities affecting healthy aging.


The human genetic code was designed to protect the survival of our species . Genes that once saved  lives during the Stone Age have  now become major threats to  wellbeing .  For example, threats of starvation ,dying of thirst, and animal predators are not feared, except under  conditions  of  war, famine , poverty and outdoor adventures .  Unfortunately, our genetic code has not  evolved  and adapted to the rapidly changing cultural  and environmental changes that took place in our civilization .  It’s true that modern medicine , plumbing , sanitation and vaccines have almost  eliminated  many diseases. However, there’s  a mismatch between the  style of living of Stone Age folks and us . Genes that once saved lives and  our species in the  Stone Age have now become threats to us because of our psychology . 


Every day we lose great numbers of cells from every tissue and organ system in our bodies . With aging , the process goes from gradual maturation - childhood into adulthood and then a decline in midlife and advanced age. Cells  overcome by physical or chemical trauma  are called necrosis . Apoptosis is when a cell ceases to function, resulting in its death . Necrosis and apoptosis are normal and inherent in our  genetic design. 


The following are five primary causes of aging : 1.Glycation is  progressive damage to the body caused by high blood sugar.  It  occurs when extra glucose molecules become attached to proteins causing structural damage to the proteins that interfere with their function. Having well-regulated blood sugar levels is one way of minimizing glycation. A sugary diet leads to insulin resistance and diabetes.

 2. Inflammation is a result of excessive quantities of hormone-like substances (eicosanoids )and by immune system chemicals  (cytokines).  Both increase with age and are necessary for normal body functioning in the proper proportions.  Inflammation is the underlying cause of a number of diseases . Mark Hyman's food as medicine addresses this issue in detail.  

3.  Oxidation is when oxygen cells  combine with  glucose and a  fat process  takes place in the mitochondria and produces ATP , the energy that drives over 90% of all the body's cellular reactions . With unstable oxygen atoms, oxidation  occurs and is known as free radicals.  The production of free radicals is  a continuously escalating process that leads to aging and ultimately to death. Free radicals play a role in development of many chronic degenerative diseases as they damage DNA.  Oxidative stress  reduces the production effectiveness of acetylcholine, the neurotransmitter responsible for memory and cognition.

 4. Methylation is a process whereby some genes are activated and others are turned off during lifetime.  Turning off the genes is believed to be one of the major factors that cause aging and death . Controlling methylation is beginning to be recognized as an important part of managing the aging process.  One factor known to optimize its processes is by  decreasing the production of the adrenal stress hormone cortisol. Stress reduction controls methylation  and contributes to longer lifespans .

 5.  Telomere reduction is repeating sequences of DNA at the end of chromosomes, regulated in a fixed manner. With cell division, the shortening results in less efficient cell division.  When reaching  a specific  length, the chromosome  is unable to divide- causing cell aging and death .Slowing  down  the telomere shortening process is one key to aging.  Examples include exercising, eating a healthy diet with lots of fruits and veggies, keeping  normal weight and controlling  inflammation.


Returning to our Stone Age ancestors, the following  changes have affected our well-being: 1.  Genetically, our bodies  were designed to protect  the Stone Age threat of starvation.  During the Stone Age, the daily hunting- gathering lifestyle resulted in feast and famine.  In fact , bodies were designed to go three or four weeks without food. The fat cells , adipocytes,  engineered genetically, helped  survival.  They stored triglycerides as energy .  Those who consumed the most food , stored the most  fat and were protected against starvation .

 Our brains experience  sweet , fat and salt.  However, sweet and fat are very high in calories and salt  assists with  water  to maintain critical metabolic balances.  Today:  the excessive consumption of  sugar, fat filled foods, now causes obesity, diabetes and cardiovascular disease.

2.  Our Stone Age ancestors ,with genetically designed bodies, were physically active .  Our ancestors walked 6 to 22 miles per day in search of food, water, shelter, and companionship.  Then came the agricultural revolution, the Industrial Revolution ,technology and information age that resulted in the development of  different character structures.  Today, only one in five Americans exercise regularly.  Energy expenditure , in the form of exercise, coupled with a high calorie diet is the main reason why 2/3 of Americans are either overweight or obese.  Our capitalistic economic system allows us to purchase  exercise equipment, fitness membership, athletic competitions, and many recreational activities, such as walking, biking, swimming, and so forth. Moreover, one is not likely to get an overuse injury by walking.  Walking is easier than running, swimming, biking, pickle ball etc. Become a Stone Ager  and walk  6 to 22 miles a day.

3.  When engaging in strenuous activity , humans can exist for about 3 to 4 days without water. Our bodies are genetically constructed to utilize sodium and hormones to hold onto water .High levels of sodium consumption ,stress and plentiful water becomes a genetic recipe for hypertension  which is associated with cardiovascular disease, heart disease and stroke.

4.  Cuts, lacerations and bites are common in the hunter gatherer cultures.  Those who had excellent blood clotting with high levels of clotting factors like fibrinogen and thromboxane were able to clot blood in wounds, prevent infections and avoid bleeding to death. The threat of blood clotting helped humans survive in the world  millions of years ago.  However, this single event  kills  the greatest number of Americans if a clot forms in one of the coronary or cerebral arteries. 

5.  Genetically, our brains are  designed to go into a fight or flight stress response. But ,with civilization , has resulted in chronic stress. Unfortunately, our  brains have not evolved nor are designed to deal with chronic stress. Stone Age cousins did not have to deal with  minute by minute stress from cell phones , driving freeways, meeting deadlines, listening to "news" ,inflation, recession, income inequality, political irrationality, health, death, etc.  Chronic stress  leads to disabling mental and physical processes or illnesses that shorten life expectancy. It’s the  continued bombardment of the brain and  the activation of stress  cortisol hormones that leads to brain shrinkage. Chronic stress results in significant emotional problems such as anxiety disorders, anger, insomnia, depression and  risk factors like hypertension, heart disease, stroke, diabetes, and Alzheimer's .


As a youngster, aunt Eva said something to the effect that "if you don't have your health, you're poor “  and  Gandhi “ It  is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver. “They are so very wise . Having optimum health reflects  attitude, needs, perseverance, and athletic activities associated with well-being.  An attitude is based on thinking, emoting  , perceiving and acting while expecting a favorable outcome and necessary for  a sense of identity within a particular lifestyle . How can individuals living in this informational and technological  culture,  not know prudent activities regarding health ?  Are they ignoramus’ ? How does it happen that so many are physically and psychologically  sick ?  Do they not care  and ignore the outcome  ?  If one has a cavalier response , that suggests the predominance of the abasement need.  For a cognitive treat, to compare lifestyle  choices , answer  a questionnaire related to  longevity, visit the website www. Livingto100.com.  At that website, a  detailed questionnaire based on current longevity research  provides  a  lifespan prediction .  Then follow your self-talk for insight into your thinking and behavior .  According to Fred Rogers.  "Discovering the truth about ourselves. is a lifetime's work, but it's worth the effort.

  Reference

Successful Aging in Men and Women . Institute  for Natural Resources.


Friday, April 14, 2023

Confronting Fiction

 


This essay applies  Fictional Finalism  to life span.  Alfred Adler MD  trained as an ophthalmologist and then became a significant member of Sigmund Freud's Psychoanalytic Society. Later, Adler resigned as president and formulated his own  personality theory.  He viewed the child as small, weak and helpless with feelings of inferiority and  being totally dependent on others.  This created an unique compensatory drive - a striving for superiority, perfection  or self actualization. On the other hand, Freud , acknowledged irrationality but postulated pleasure  as being the significant driving force. Within Adler’s model, and our focus, Fictional Finalism is  just one of Adler’s brilliant  common sense concepts.


Fictional Finalism is the idea  that man follows fictional ideas , myths , cliches , rationalizations and illusions. It’s been stated that pursuing illusions makes life bearable. The fiction , with emotion, becomes an attitude with a  motivational striving  towards persons, places, and things  . It’s an opinion, belief, interest, or purpose involving an expectancy for a certain kind of  future experience with readiness for an appropriate response.  In other words, when activated, the irrationality of man’s  attitude results in a  self defeating motivating force .  A couple of examples of Fictional Finalism  include: 1.  The Civil War was based on "Don't Tread on Me."  2.  The Vietnam War was based on the "Domino Theory."  3.  The Iraq war was based on "Weapons Of Mass Destruction."  We are the weapons of mass destruction.  4.  The 2020 election was fraudulent.  5.  Trump can't be indicted because he's a former president .  Yes, he can in order to make America great !


One of America's most notable poets Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Sports is the bloom and glow of perfect health."  That's an example of  Fictional Finalism.  Yes, exercise, activity, play, humor, fun, amusing oneself are all related to health.  Do they tell the whole story?  Two examples follow: 1.  I last saw my former teammate and NFL superstar about  10 years ago.  Ed Budde , once a physical giant, played 14 years with the Kansas City Chiefs.  He said he had lost about 2 inches in height, and has difficulty walking.  Luckily for me, because I danced with Carolyn while he looked on.  2.  My lovely wife Linda was an equestrian, river rafting guide ,golfer , swimmer , pickle ball  with low cholesterol.  She had a five way heart bypass.  Then, suffered an equestrian injury resulting in shoulder replacement, two punctured lungs,  and  CTE . Note, there is current legislation proceeding in California that would ban tackle football for those 12 and under because of primary CTE consequences.


Successful aging in men and women is  complex .  Yet, there are all types of exercise equipment like treadmills, ellipticals , Pelotons , machines, free weights, bands, gym memberships, athletic  competitions etc.  We are told to exercise for a certain length of time, and walk so many steps .  Don't sit too long, ride a bike, swim, kayak, work in the garden, go dancing, etc. Physical activity alone does not result in longevity.  Advertising with Fictional Finalism  messaging is good for capitalism and the myth of exercise but  is irrational and misleading.


Everyone has heard about Weight Watchers, Nutri system, Mediterranean Diet , Mark Hyman's Food As Medicine and numerous supplements like Herbalife Quickstart, Zero  Belly Smoothies, 7-Day Apple Cider, GOLO for, Life, weight loss classes, etc.  As far as diets, there's nothing wrong with diets.  The problem is people are unable to stick to a diet .  Three quarters of our population are either overweight or obese.


Life expectancy is related to activity , choices including diet.  A few factors that are associated with health include the following: 1.  Majority of money spent on healthcare in the United States is spent on preventable diseases.  2.  How long American life is mostly dependent on socioeconomic , regional lifestyle choices made in midlife alcohol use, tobacco smoking, being overweight or obese and having elevated blood pressure.  3.  Low economic rural whites with no  health insurance and  no access to healthcare had longer life expectancies  in Minnesota than those who were low income rural whites lacking in health insurance living in Appalachia and the Mississippi Valley.  They had higher alcohol use, tobacco smoking, greater obesity and higher blood pressure.  4.  Tobacco smoking and high blood pressure are the largest contributors to death in the United States and responsible for one in five deaths.  Being overweight ,obese and lack of physical activity each cause nearly 1 in 10  deaths 4.  Preventable lifestyle choices and conditions influence the risk of developing life-threatening chronic diseases .The major causes of early death are cardiovascular disease, diabetes, lung disease and cancer.  6. Covid -19  misinformation and poor choices  resulted in a dramatic blow to life expectancy in the United States.


The following is no guarantee of happiness nor Fictional Finalism but is associated with being  a  centenarian.  Michael Howard evaluated 16 healthy habits and lifestyle choices for those reaching 100. His 16   does not mean that there are no  other variables associated with living to 100.  His following 16 :1.  Blood pressure less than 100 mg/Dl .  Fasting . 2.  Blood pressure range 115/75 mg/  Hg.  3.  Total cholesterol less than 200 mg/ dl .4.  Keep BMI from 18.5 to 25 . 5. Eat fewer calories 6. Mostly vegetarian diet with coffee and tea .7.  Take your vitamins . 8.  Exercise regularly, be active and stay busy after retirement. 9.  Don't smoke or stop smoking If you do 10, Drink less alcohol.  11.  Get regular and restful sleep.  12.  Healthy gums .13.  Challenge your mind.  14.  Stay positive in attitude and avoid anxiety and depression.  15. Shed stressors ,have daily structure and be resilient. It’s not stress that kills us, it’s our reaction to it. Hans Selye, endocrinologist   16 . Stay socially connected with serenity and purpose to life.


Human beings have four basic processes, all of which are indispensable for functioning and which are interconnected: 1.  Perception or senses-see , taste,  smell , feel and hear .  2.  Sensorimotor movement-walks ,eats, swims, throws climbs, etc. 3.  Emotes, feels-loves, hates, fears, becomes guilty,  depressed  .  4.  Rational or irrational, thinks, remembers, imagines, hypothesizes, concludes, solves  problems.


With that being said, Japan has a life expectancy of 84.6; Singapore 83.7; South Korea 83.4; Norway 83.2.... US 76.4.   Some, Fictional Finalism comments might be about  genes or heredity being the main cause .  Studies, including twin studies, found that heredity and genes account for 25 to 35% of one's health.  It's clear that individuals in the above countries are employing four basic  human processes (Perceiving, emoting, sensorimotor, and thinking-rational )  in more healthy ways than in our country.  Some Fictional Finalism folks might say we are happier than those living in other countries. Statistically, the happiness rankings : Iceland, Denmark, Switzerland, Netherlands........ and in 14th place,  the United States.  Some Fictional Finalism folks might say we have the best healthcare system.  Statistically, Japan is number one for least healthcare costs but is also number one for lifespan length . We  pay more  for healthcare  and trail lifespan in Japan.


 A few more statistics regarding mortality rates in the United States: 1.  People in Republican counties have higher death rates than people in Democratic counties.  2.  People live longer in blue states than red states  3.  People die younger in states run by conservatives.  Give thanks to Republicans- Covid -19 , not wearing a mask and  not getting vaccinated; Republicans say “no “ to gun reform; “no” to democracy ; yes , to income inequality; yes, to banning reading materials; and yes to racism ,discrimination and  following fiction  .


In conclusion,  is anyone thinking about the future and being dependent on someone else?  Italy, found itself short of individuals that could care for others.  Children have moved away and  home care workers are limited causing concern for many in the industry.  An article titled "Who Will Take Care Of Italy's Older People ?  Maybe Robots " in the March 26, 2023 edition of The New York Times suggested that robots is the answer.  It was stated that "Robot  wasn't a replacement for socializing with other people.  It can nevertheless be company,  What doubletalk.


PS

1.  “2-Minute Exercise Bursts Can  Have Big Benefits “found in the December 11, 2022 edition of the New York Times.          

2. Advertisement “We're Changing How The  World Thinks About Weight   Loss. Lose Weight  for Good  Sign up for a 14 day  free trial.

3. Confront fiction for a prediction  of how many more years left,  by taking the questionnaire derived from longevity research at www.livingto100.com.

Reference ,Successful Aging in Men & Women.  Institute for Natural  Resources.


Friday, April 7, 2023

Self - esteem, Fiction and Trump

 


Today's disquisition relates to Trump,  self-esteem and fiction .  Self-esteem , not the ego, was formulated by notables such as William James ,G.H. Mead,  Alfred Adler, Karen Horney, Harry Stack Sullivan, Erich Fromm,  Carl Rogers ,Morris Rosenberg , Stanley Coopersmith and others.  Our definition of self-esteem takes into account goal successes, values, ideals, expectancies or aspirations and defense mechanisms.


Self-esteem  relates to an enduring attitude, belief or personal evaluation that's associated with emotional states towards oneself.  Self-esteem is  also associated with satisfaction and effective functioning.  Research has suggested that individuals with low self-esteem have doubts of worthiness , can neither give nor receive love and have difficulty maintaining close emotional unions.  They do not trust their ability to get close because it would  reveal their inadequacies , thereby exposing their unworthiness. They are unable to deal with their inadequacies because they  expect  dreaded failure.


Threats to self-esteem results in fear or anxiety which leads to aggression and hostility. Also, one's perception of self may be counter to society's definition of success and worthiness.  Because of that fact, often an individual is not aware because of that dissonance between their self-esteem evaluation and  society’s. Because one cannot always count on the accuracy of one's reported self evaluation, verbal expressions- what they say, how they say it; their posture, facial and body gestures tells their story.  It is believed that people with high self-esteem are happier and more efficient in meeting their environmental and social demands . While those of low self esteem , with conflicts, are troubled by more consistent feelings of distress, which speaks to weakness and feelings of inferiority. They  falsely present confidence and self-assuredness to the public, which is essentially a façade , persona or social mask.


Some suggest that high self-esteem is associated with self-respect, superiority, pride, self-acceptance, dominance, assertiveness, possession , status and narcissism while others state that high self-esteem is associated with being capable, significant, successful . worthy , adherence to socially accepted values and ideals. 


Achievement or success can be measured against one social group or others important to the individual.  However, a continuous guarding against loss of self-esteem results with anxiety. Thus, one has to develop strategies to counter the  potential loss of self-esteem.  Conditions that produce anxiety relate to lack of domination ,indifference of others, loss of respect, disparagement, lack of admiration, lack of warmth and discrimination by others-the enemy.  Coping with anxiety , one can create or inflate an idealized image of one's capacities and goals. It’s an attempt to bolster self-esteem. Weakness is inferiority  ,and to be avoided at all costs . Inferiority  can be  physical, intellectual or emotional .  To compensate, one can pursue  athletics, learning or therapy .


Success is also the ability to influence others by controlling self and behavior of others ;  economic success in the areas of competency related to high levels of mastery of performance , the areas of virtue - adherence to moral, ethical and religious values.  


Self-esteem is related  to the amount of respectful, accepting and concerned treatment that's received from significant others along with the history of integrated successes.  Social approval is living up to the aspirations of significant others along with their values. Self evaluation can result in an attitude of failure.  However, self-esteem  can be maintained , with defenses, by distorting the catastrophes so they do not diminish  a sense of worthiness or power .


Defenses and means of warding off anxiety are an interpretation to perceive that the event leads the individual to rally against feelings of incompetence, powerlessness ,status  and so forth.  High self-esteem individuals have confidence in their own judgments, feel capable of increasing the likelihood that they will be successful in dealing with adversity.

A few words about Trump and self-esteem . Like all Homo sapiens, Donald began life helpless.  He was the apple of his father's eye, a prized possession for Fred.  Fred’s character valued power, status and possession.  Being Fred’s favorite, Donald was spoiled , pampered and enabled unconditionally. As a spoiled child, Donald did not develop appropriate ego boundaries, a well functioning conscience nor  experience serious consequences for his aberrant behavior which was ignored and/or reinforced.  These parental practices resulted in psychic consequences and influenced various character tendencies.  First, baby Donald formed an expectation early in life that he will always be taking care of despite circumstances and his whim is the law.  Second, baby Donald didn't have to contribute to the social welfare of others and to the society at large.  Not paying taxes, imitating Jesse James , exploiting others and using others like Roy Cohn types to manipulate legal proceedings so as not to be held accountable.  Third, baby Donald developed a grandiose view of  being all-powerful with unlimited authority-omnipotent.   This inflated view  resulted in a non rational manner that he is a genius .  Fourth, baby Donald did not learn appropriate ways to adjust to problems confronted. Unconsciously he was defending against helplessness, humiliation and destitution.  These  insecurities resulted in hostility with his characterological  tendency to dominate, humiliate, and to deprive others.


 Donald’s successes and failures are based on  psychological dynamics  reflected in his attitude ,values  and behavior toward others and society. He attempted to compensate for his physical ineptitude. He was not athletic nor  excelled at sports. To compensate, he attempted to buy an NFL franchise but was rejected. He  then purchased the New Jersey Generals of the USFL.Subsequently , organized  and started a lawsuit against the NFL for antitrust statutes.  The USFL won the lawsuit, the jury awarded the USFL just three dollars.   Was  that a success  ?  He plays golf but cheats at that game too. Academically, it's been reported that  school and college  tests and papers were written by someone else. 


Donald started  with millions from inheritance, went bankrupt numerous times and inflates his assets when seeking a loan and deflates them when paying taxes.  As far as prestige and power, he achieved the most powerful position in the world as a result of the nondemocratic electoral college.  He didn't believe that he was going to win and thus defensively talked about the election being false ahead of time.  As president, he had the power, possessions and prestige which are unparalleled to none.  However, he was impeached twice, lost the popular vote twice and the first president to be indicted.  Historically, he should've been the second.  Nixon had that honor but was bailed out by Jerry Ford with the pardon. 


In the 2016 election Donald didn't expect to beat Hillary. He squelched his Stormy Daniels affair. He then projected ,  "Lock her up," and declared the election was going to be fraudulent. 


 However, 2019 - 2020, he knew he was in trouble of losing his status and power . Again, talked about the fraudulent election-the Big Lie.  He reinforced the Big Lie  in his failed  court actions ; he supported  fake electors, called Georgia Secretary of State seeking more votes, pressured Mike Pence into manipulating the electoral college votes and had his cronies attack the capital on January 6.   All these actions were based on the irrationality , illusion and fiction created  between his ears by this genius . Irrespective of immorality or legality of actions, this behavior was predicated on the  fictional idea that these behaviors  were how he would retain the presidency. 


Donald has worn a Teflon protection device  for all of his life.  Now , for the first time, he's been indicted.  His future?  Despite current reality, Donald would likely say he has a positive image of himself.  Yet, if he  looked into the mirror, he would see  a tense , hostile, unhappy and obese human. One of his major life goals ,with excessive strategies, is to defeat and conquer the legal justice system. He said his arrest was imminent , and called  for protests along with the picture of him holding a baseball bat as if to attack  Bragg.. He referred to  Alvin Bragg, the Manhattan district attorney as  a Soros backed animal.   Donald's attitude  toward the criminal justice system reflects his  destructive mockery of the  irrationality and fiction  of the slogan "Justice Is Blind"  and his fictional belief when he stated, during his first campaign ,that he could shoot someone in NY and not get arrested.  Furthermore, his disdain for the social interest of the society, with his neurotic ,malignant   narcissism of  his self-centeredness, makes him a dangerous  and catastrophic threat to our Republic.”What is the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on” per Henry David Thoreau


References


Adler, A.  Individual Psychology.

Coopersmith, S.  The Antecedents of Self-esteem.


Friday, March 31, 2023

Guns

   The January 29 2023 edition of The New York Times had a timely  article titled "A Smarter Way to Reduce Gun Deaths “ .  Do we or do we not  value human life ? Forget the unrealistic commandment "thou shall not kill."  Statistically, more people in this country ,since 1977 have died from gun involvement - suicides , homicides and accidents, about 1.5 million, than from  all the killing of our soldiers ,1.4 million,  since the Revolutionary war and we recently added 6 more .  Our capitalistic political system, in the hands of the minority, values profits and power over human and animal  life.  This essay addresses firearms with additional  ideas. 


The following from the article: 1.    In 2021,  48,000 Americans were killed by firearms, including suicides, homicides and accidents .  2.  American women aged 50 or older commit fewer than 100 gun homicides in a typical year while men 49 years of age or younger typically kill more than 500 people each year just with their fists and feet.  With guns , they kill more than 7,000 each year.  3. There are more than 700,000  fully automatic weapons(machine guns) outside the military.  Most are owned by federal, state or local agencies.  With a background check and permission, members of the public can buy an UZI submachine gun  or mounted 50 caliber machine guns made before 1986.  The background check includes a clean record and  $200 for a transfer tax process that takes several months to  complete. The individual must report to the authorities if it is stolen and get approval if  moved to another state.  4. In Mississippi, the buyer of firearms must not be underage or drunk. 5. People are barred from buying alcohol or cigarettes before they turn 21.  6.  Wyoming  established a minimum age of 21 to buy a handgun.  7.  Federal laws  bans felons from owning guns.  Individuals convicted of violent misdemeanors- stalking, domestic violence and alcohol abuse should also be restricted.  8.  We have universal background checks, but there is no comprehensive system to remove guns from people who become ineligible.  9.  Why not license a person to buy a gun ? Massachusetts, one of the lowest gun mortality rates in the country, has applicants pay $100 for a license , be fingerprinted ,undergo a background check and explain why he or she wants a gun . If granted . It typically takes a few weeks with an obligation to store it safely and report it if stolen . 10.  Since 2020, an additional 50 million guns have been sold in the United States. 11. Driving a car used to provide many deaths, but we've reduced the number of deaths from driving.  Firearms now kill more people than cars.  12.  Rifles are known to have been used in 364 homicides in 2018 and shotguns in 200  homicides .13.  AR 15 style rifles are designed to kill as many people in a shorter time as possible.  American troops are not allowed to fire with hollow point bullets which cause horrific damage because they might violate the laws of war, but civilians can.  14.  The most lethal weapon of all is a 9 mm handgun and other semi automatic pistols . They have the advantage of being easily concealable .  Handguns are steadily overtaking long guns . In one study of crime, guns recovered by police departments  totaled  46,000  Five were identified as hunting rifles.  


Briefly, some strategies to reduce gun deaths: 15.  Gun owners with military or police background strongly believe safety training  requirements for people carrying handguns is necessary.  16. Background checks to purchase ammunition and red flag laws are promising.   Reducing gun suicides  in Indiana,red flag laws reduced gun suicides by 7.5% over 10 years.  17.  Waiting; limits on how many guns one can purchase and warning labels for guns and ammunition  make sense. 18.  1% increase in handgun prices historically reduced demand by 2 - 3% . Each murder cost society about $17.25 million in policing ,courts, incarceration,  work  productivity  lost and insecurity.  19.  Encourage homeowners to rely on a shotgun rather than an assault weapon . 20.  Ease restrictions on pepper spray.  21.  Concealed carry permits don't turn communities into Dodge . Individuals go through the permit process  and they are typically  middle-aged adults with no criminal history with pretty good self-control.  22. Assault rifles cause fewer than 7% of guns used in crimes.  California bans assault weapons.  However, manufacturers promptly designed compliant weapons that are almost the same as those that are banned  and are technically legal, 23. There are probably more rifles in private hands in the United States than  in the armories of the United States military .Large capacity magazines play a significant role in mass shootings, but handguns kill more people.  24 Research finds that better street lighting and the conversion  of vacant vacant lots into green areas seem to reduce shootings.  25. Counseling and intervention strategies reduce suicides which  constitute a majority of gun deaths .  26.  North Carolina requires a license to buy a handgun.  27.  New York state has a firearms death rate less than one quarter that of all gun friendly states like Alaska, Wyoming, Louisiana and Mississippi because of their gun safety regulations.


I propose more comprehensive license requirements than Massacussetts states, for  purchasing a firearm and ammunition in California . For example, the set of conditions are as follows : 1. Incorporate  or create  an additional class from the Administration of Justice (Sierra College) program  The class would address field work at a shooting range and focus on safety and responsible gun ownership. Note, a student would be eligible to receive an associate degree In the Administration of Justice curriculum at this  Community College.  


From a mental health point of view,  the instructor would  be a licensed psychologist, MFCC or LCSW. The mental health  professional would  be required to conduct a pre-and post interview.  A  brief mental health evaluation would entail taking a social, economic, employment and academic history along with assessing attitudes towards firearms  , citizen responsibility, social welfare of others that are different, along with  assessing levels of anxiety and depression.  


The purpose  of the interview would be to evaluate the responsibility of being a citizen, taking into account the person's history.  Applying to the community college community, the  licensed mental health professional would have high school grades and the ability to contact former high school counselors.  A  formal application could be established along with references - from an employer,  high school counselor, high school teacher, religious administrator , athletic coach or law enforcement individual.


In concert, both staff would consult and determine if the student was eligible for gun and ammunition purchase. This program could easily be evaluated  for effectiveness..  A certificate or license  would be necessary for gun purchase and for ammunition in California .


PS


I have contacted  ADL and California elected federal and state representatives regarding my proposal .


Friday, March 24, 2023

Tension and Hostility

 


Recent articles found in The New York Times are as follows: For Police, Body Cameras Break Old Code of Silence; Patent Manipulation Made Drug Company 114  Billion; A Daring Quest To Escape Russia, by Motorboat; Both Sides of Abortion Battle Zero in On State Constitutions; This Is Actually the End of History; A Smarter  Way  to Reduce Gun Deaths; Tomorrow's A.  I.  Actively Insidious; In The Woods, A Flashpoint Over Policing; Suspense at the Movies: What a Seat Will Cost.  Just recently we had  2 bank closings related to  industry deregulation, risk and those bank executives were reinforced with $ for their greed before the Fed takeover.  Also, a Russian jet forced down an American drone over the Black Sea ; inflation ; talk of recession; the billion plus lawsuit against Fox news and Trump's upcoming indictments.  We live in  scary times.  This disposition addresses fear, anxiety( tension) and aggression (hostility).


Essentially, Homo sapiens can be characterized as being fearful with  anxiety and hostility.  Fear is considered to be objective and a reaction to dangerous situations that may be accompanied by physical sensations such as trembling, perspiration , and increased  heartbeat. etc.  Anxiety is also a reaction to danger  but is subjective and may be a disproportionate reaction to danger or even a reaction to  an imaginary danger ; disguised ; and one may not even be aware of feeling anxiety and/or hostility .  Animals react to danger with fight or flight.  Our ability to obsessively ponder a danger separates us from animals.  Freud saw aggression as an instinct  and Murray referred to it as a need.  Murray's definition of aggression: "To overcome opposition forcefully.  To fight.  To revenge an injury.  To attack, injure or kill another.  To oppose forcefully replenish another."  Related to aggression is hostility which is a perceived emotional reaction toward another based on fear or anxiety (or tension } .These terms are used interchangeably.


Fear, anxiety and  aggression or tension and hostility (TH) are significant motivations and essential qualities of Homo sapiens and  influence  personality dramatically for good or for evil .  They are the ground floor, so to speak, the foundation  for Homo sapiens that begins and ends with life-and-death. Traumatic { the inability of the ego to cope effectively with stress }  experiences are associated with weaning, stranger anxiety and separation anxiety.  TH are mechanisms that assist in dealing with life’s dangers .  We are born in a state of helplessness and our anxiety or tension system becomes activated for survival.  Generally  we attempt to avoid the unpleasantness of the tension and seek to reduce that with actions  associated with a reduction of such or pleasure.  When anxiety cannot be dealt with effectively. a traumatic episode, it’s like the individual returns to his original state -  infantile helplessness.  In other words, TH is  dangerous and must be addressed.  We engage in many behaviors  in an attempt to reduce that terror .


With child-rearing experiences , the dynamics of TH continue.  The child perceives  actions by the male parent in his interactions with the female parent and other siblings.  Stressors for the male parent may relate to some physical ailment  or condition; work or employment related; his wife, etc. The  parents' verbal expression or reaction may be hostile or not.  Was the frustrated reaction said in a quiet, rational manner ?  Was the frustrated reaction said with hostility  with the use of swear words?  Was there a physical reaction like breaking of objects and / or   physical spousal abuse ?   When family violence  occurs it encompasses spousal battering , marital rape, child sexual abuse, and child physical and emotional maltreatment.  It also includes elements of control and abuse of power by the person committing the violence.


By being a witness to a parent's aggressive and hostile behavior, the child learns how to imitate the hostile actions.  In other words, hostility is modeled and thus learned.  The child also learns how the female parent reacts to violence.  Does she fight back against spousal abuse ?  Similarly, when the child exhibits hostile behavior, is that met with corporal punishment by the  parent ?  How  do  parents  respond to the child's hostile behavior ?  Do the  parents use corporal punishment or do they ignore, make excuses, give a lecture, or reinforce that behavior depending upon circumstance ?



Because of childhood  TH , coping mechanisms lead to becoming compliant ; seeking favoritism;  or developing some educational or sport skill .  Also contributing to and associated with insecurity  and hostility during development , are rivalries . We seek favoritism from  caretakers and  engage in competition with siblings- called sibling rivalry.  The importance of the peer group  associations cannot be underestimated.  A sense of belonging, being popular, fitting in, being part of  are quite necessary for a sense of security.  Being a best friend , wanting to be picked first becomes important and continues through life . 


Back in the day, high school football games ,in Detroit ,were played during the evening.  Then, one Friday evening, a serious knife fight occurred, in the stands, with students and followers from  archrival  Pershing . The result, no more night football games.  In college, I pledged to the Sigma Alpha Mu fraternity.  As a pledge, I had to carry a gold colored brick with ZAM lettering.  A pledge from a rrival fraternity took my brick.  He suffered the consequences of my actions, and no one took my brick again. Needless to say, I exhibited TH with that  pledge rival.


Frustration is also associated with hostility.  Frustration occurs with interference  to goal seeking behavior.  Research by Dollard ,Miller and others explored the frustration - aggression hypothesis.  They believe that the amount of frustration  is related to the intensity of a goal and that response  by the degree of interference or barrier with the response.  Further, the frequency of interferences or how often the frustrated response takes place is also significant. The frustration mechanism or barrier can be either verbal or physical . Also, the frustration response can be repressed , immediate , delayed or displaced. Significantly, the hostile  response may be turned toward the frustrating agent or agents  as in  scapegoating or even inward  toward self. Frustration varies according to  severity of punishment expected  .One may display hostility towards the child, but not toward an authority figure . Research has found that parental styles contribute greatly to the hostile expressions of their children.


A few ways that Homo sapiens engage to escape TH include the defense mechanisms.  Repression is one defense mechanism . How many times  do we experience irritation when driving on the freeway.?  Another driver may cut you off.  You may decide to "forget it," because of fear of a  possible acceleration of hostility.  There are so many times that one experiences  the feeling of being agitated and  decide not to consciously react.  Having to drive the freeway daily, these situations continue. This adding up repression of TH is not associated with a loving attitude to drive back and forth to work.


Denial is a second defense mechanism to attempt to escape the tension or anxiety .  The election loss by Donald Trump is a good example.  Hold onto the lie and deny the reality that Joe Biden was elected president fairly.  Then with the Fox news. -  Dominioni lawsuit, we find out that they, being Fox news, knew the truth and yet perpetuated the big lie because they didn't want to lose their viewership  because  of  that association with profits  Denying the fantasy of marriage and living happily ever after, is a contradiction as illustrated by the number of divorces and remarriages.  Is there one perfect woman or man to meet all one's needs?  There's also an illusion about the perfect job; the dream house; the exotic vacation etc .These marketing clichés or non-truths propel individuals over and over  to chase their fantasies regarding  some fairy tale .


Another way humans attempt ,with repetitive failure, to reduce  the unpleasantness of TH is by addictive behavior with alcohol, drugs, food, gambling and sex .  Hostility is often displayed under the influence  of alcohol as impulse control and critical thinking  becomes compromised. Avoid, for  well-being, drunks and drunk drivers . In fact,  craziness and hostility was exemplified when the government established alcohol  prohibition . Bootleggers ,mafia  types and Elliott Ness had their engagements . These addictions only temporarily mask the unpleasantness associated with the reality of living in an imperfect world.


Additionally, another way to  attempt to escape TH is with  mental or physical activity or inactivity with hypnosis, meditation etc.  Keep busy with any activity to distort reality. Keep your calendar full, exercise, become a workaholic or find any  activity to distract . Does success or the fantasy of success result from becoming a workaholic ?  How long does having the right job with the right salary result in success and feeling good about oneself ?  When Is one totally in control of all the factors that take place related to  job promotion ? No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early.

— Groucho Marx

Today's adolescents have that electronic device in their hand and  don't leave home without it.  They are  engaged in their device, and one  purpose of that is to not notice their  anxiety.  Forget about playing sports, studying , so forth and spend that time with your device.  Just think of all the nonsense that one is exposed to when using these devices with the  plethora  of social media  hate, lies, falsehoods and scapegoating that occurs.  A number of school shooters ( loners, inadequate  powerless types) were alienated and their "peer group" was simply  a hate group on social media.  If  feeling  alone ,helpless and  powerless, get a gun, become part of a hate group, and gain TV and social media “fame.”


Another way to attempt to mitigate that infantile feeling of helplessness , fearfulness and powerlessness ,that has been reinforced throughout one's life cycle, along with the demands for rivalry and success within our discriminatory capitalistic system, is through gun accumulation .  Talk to anyone about the thrill and the feeling of "power" while at  a target range or killing an animal . We also know that people have difficulty correctly identifying their feelings.  This so-called “power” is only a rationalization going on between one's ears.  It's a defense mechanism designed to dismiss factors related to self-esteem, powerlessness, as well as TH.  This gun industry, with  slick propaganda ,presents a contradiction between  needs and the factual frustrations in satisfying them. For economic reasons, these insecurities are constantly being stimulated by this capitalistic  culture with advertisements and conspicuous consumption.  One hears, there's gonna be a ban on guns and that results in more gun and ammunition sales.  It's a clever dishonest device and essentially is a psychic consequence for the individual who is troubled with a constant discrepancy between his desires and his fulfillments.


When I lived in the Bay Area, there was a neighbor that lived miles away.  I didn't know him but was told that every time he had a disagreement with his wife, he  moved dirt and plowed more trails on his land .  He had numerous trails. Plowing dirt is a safer substitute than gun purchase.


In summation, biologically, all organisms turn to "dust."   Homo sapiens, with evolution, have developed a cortex.  Despite this “new” brain that separates  us from animals, man continues to be driven by his helplessness, TH and needs.  With increased levels of TH, the character deficient have-nots still have the means to act out hate and murder with their killing weapons. Is it too late for common sense  weapon legislation  ?  If it is too late, expect more of the same.  


Reference

American Psychological Association.  Violence and the Family.

Horney, Karen.  The Neurotic Personality of Our Time.

Murray, Henry.  Explorations in Personality.


Friday, March 17, 2023

Affection, Love and Hostility

 


Unions among Homo sapiens are ” the good, the bad and the u gly “ per Clint Eastwood .  The February 19 , 2023 edition of the New York Times had two  articles pertaining to that movie title.  They were titled "My Friend Won't Leave Her Abusive Husband. What Do I Do ?"  and “Unhappily Married .”   This essay examines how  an  excessive  or neurotic requirement for affection affects unions  .


Homo sapiens , in their  journey,  are coupled with  ongoing dependency, separation , anxiety  and hostility .  The importance of child rearing and its difficulty has been well documented.  More specifically, warmth, affection, feeling loved, wanted and belonging are required to assist because of the immense helplessness for the  developing newborn .  


Parents' own needs  often interfere with the child's healthy physical and psychological development.  For example, the child's will , physiological and psychological  wants, desires and needs can be thwarted , interfered with or frustrated  during its development.  Excessive crying and later hostility , as a result of frustration , becomes  evident.  Often, the child's hostility is repressed because of fear of loss of love.  A child's hostility can also be the result of many factors, such as parental  preference for  another, siblings, some  perceived unjust action, some deprivation of wants,,something real or imagined, being lied to and a plethora of unfulfilled promises.  Moreover,  frustration of wishes,and desires,  can result in  jealousy and hostility. Was that particular punishment fair or was it  humiliating ?  Jealousy and envy along with lack of perceived warmth ,security and affection are sources for  hostile hatred.


Some parents have a tendency to over shelter and make their child or children obedient , keeping them ignorant and overprotected  and reinforce these actions by intimidation  . Keeping a child  a dependent results in  reinforcing a feeling of helplessness for the child.  This child is fearful and has to repress his hostility because he is dependent on that parent.and fears a loss of love.  Keeping the child afraid of a “ dangerous “ world also  results in repressed hostility. Essentially, when “genuine” affection is absent, the child has to repress his hostility for fear of losing love.  These factors  contribute  significantly and  interfere with healthy development.


With unhealthy  infant and child development, the occurrence of basic anxiety is associated with feeling insignificant, helpless, deserted, endangered ,and fearful with hostility .  In other words, basic anxiety and mistrust is established with hostility towards others because of being distrustful of them. It’s difficult to get close to those that you mistrust and/ or are toxic. With basic anxiety, there’s potential conflict with the inability to rely on self  and being unable to trust others . With mistrust ,there’s  hostility  and the seeking of reassurance  during development. Thus, in spite of mistrust, the need for some type of affiliation  remains.  


Affiliation is the need to draw near and enjoyably cooperate or reciprocate with an allied other.  To please and win affection for a cathected object . To adhere and remain loyal to a friend.  Within this definition, we are going to focus on “to please and win affection for a cathected object”  Also important to note  is that neither love  nor marriage are needs, but sex is according to Murray. 


There are essentially four ways that Homo sapiens engage and employ  to protect  themselves against basic anxiety in order to seek pleasure and reduce pain.  One  significant and foremost motivational tendency  results  in a striving and  wanting to be loved, approved , appreciated, desired and  connected.  This desire for seeking “love “ and affection,  is the reassurance against anxiety. It can result in the illusion of loving, especially with a person whom he likes. Often this results in a feeling of infatuation and/or  responses depicting some kind of gratitude and/or kindness.   In other words, any kind of received  or degree of affection may result in the superficial or the illusion of love with the primary intent  of reducing the separation anxiety. 


Seeking affiliation and affection, for a neurotic, as a result of the wish to reduce the dreaded anxiety or protection results in submissiveness.  Submissiveness is essentially a conscious awareness but unconsciously motivated. It’s a wish or belief : If you love me, you will not hurt me;  if I give in to you , you  will not hurt me.  In other words, obedience for affection becomes so important that the behavior becomes a willingness to pay any price in complying with the demands of  another. One hears  a lot of “ I’m sorry.”


Unfortunately, with feelings of helplessness, ineptitude, neediness and inadequacy, and the perception of living in a hostile negative world, the search for affection to help with some  appreciation seems logical.  However, for the” neurotic”  there’s a history of failures  with friendships, marriages ,love affairs  and work relationships.  In other words, it’s like the chasing of the Phantom of love,for approval, being loved and belonging.


Hostility and anxiety are dynamics  for the  neurotic . It’s a dilemma . On one hand, he's incapable of loving and yet he's in great need of love from others . How can he love  others, when he despises, and distrusts them. He still , at the same time , craves for  their affection, help and support.  Therefore , it's difficult to make the pursuit of affection possible  because  additionally the pursuit of a union also arouses fear of being dependent , controlled and manipulated . This quandary is impossible to resolve and end unhappily .


A few more illustrations associated with the neurotic’s need for affection.  They include a compulsiveness of behavior and activity  without discriminating and translates "I must be loved at any cost."  Examples are compulsive eaters , alcohol, drugs and shoppers who attempted to fill that cavity.  Weight gain, poor health and needless accumulation of things can neither be helped nor controlled by the neurotic. These behaviors suggest that they overvalue the irrationality of their activity. It’s  simply a failure to undo and protect the individual from  the earlier trauma of being reared inappropriately. Being liked ,  secure, approved, loved and belonging is paramount. 


 Also, for the neurotic, his seeking of love must be  exclusive and  unconditional .  This translates :“love me for what I am , not for what I'm doing.”  Disregard my behavior, forget it, doesn’t mean much  even  though  I engage in  unethical ,immoral criminal  activities.  I must be loved unconditionally.  Of course it's realistically  impossible for another to fulfill that requirement. 


 The neurotic is aware of his excessive hostility and has realistic fears that the other will withdraw based on his  excessive  demanding behavior .  In other words, the insecurity around  a potential loss of love, results in seeking  constant reassurance, as in "do you love me ?" or "why do you love me?" Also, this individual is deeply sensitive to criticism, which is actually felt as a withdrawal of love and translates :“  If you love me ,you won't criticize me.  “ This individual is also selfish and wishes to be loved, without having to love in return as well as without any advantage going to the other. Further, wishing to be loved , for the neurotic ,has to have sacrifices.  The other person must sacrifice  and demonstrate something like  money, time, or gifts that indicate love. It doesn't matter that the sacrifice might be disastrous to the other.  In other words, there's a disregard for all others and these demands and  activities with its hostility seem obvious to all.


Is  the craving for affection, a panacea or contradiction for reaching a state of nirvana?  Yes, finding affection can result in feeling less isolated, less threatened, less hostile , less anxious while becoming more certain of self .  However, since it becomes associated with love, It has become  overvalued in our society.  Just read all the poems about love , all the song lyrics and the politician  saying “ I love you.” Obtaining affection ,”love” is the illusion that it is a solution for all  problems, Because of our expectations that it can accomplish much more than the reality as in “they lived happily ever after .”  In essence, the ideological emphasis that is placed , all messaging like “diamonds are a girls best friend”  etc. serve to cover-up the  psychological needs which create our exaggerated requirement for it .The dilemma is the necessary requirement for receiving affection and the difficulty in obtaining it.As Ben Franklin said “He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.”