Chutzpah

The article “Lovers in Auschwitz, Reunited” published by the New York Times on December 8, 2019 was heartfelt as it pertained to World War 11. This essay depicts the chutzpah of Helen and David both Auschwitz survivors.

Back in, 1942 in Auschwitz, David Wisnia, age 17 and Helen Spitzer age 25 first met. Both were prisoners but held” favorable” positions in this death camp. David’s father was opera loving which influenced David’s singing talent. Even though he was forced to collect the bodies of prisoners that had committed suicide by clinging to electrified fences, David was chosen to sing for his captors. Helen became ill when assigned to grueling demolition work. When it was discovered that she was a graphic artist, Helen was assigned to office work. She was then able to “move freely” in and around the camp.

Helen spotted David. They became friends and lovers over the next few months. In fact, both secretly met in an area surrounded by the piled high street clothes of prisoners. Helen hired fellow prisoners to stand guard and watch for approaching SS officers. When they learned they would be soon be moved and separated because of approaching allies, they made a plan to meet, after the war, at a community center in Warsaw.

It’s clear that these two individuals met in deplorable conditions in an ugly time in world history. However, their needs for  Affiliation-to please and win affection; Nurturance-to help, support, console, protect, and comfort; Sex- have sexual intercourse; and Succorance-to be loved,  supported, sustained, protected, guided were met by their union. What also helped them survive was their ability to plan for a future.

Viktor Frankel, in his concentration camp experience, wrote about the life saving power of looking to the future. Having a future meant that one had significant, meaningful need related goals. These goals were difficult to attain and had barriers and obstacles that had to be overcome. The completion of goal achievement resulted in only positives and satisfaction.

While on separate death marches, both managed escapes. Fortunately, for David, he was rescued by the United States 101 Airborne. He was adopted by this unit and was instrumental in translation and interrogation while caring a machine gun dressed in an army uniform. Travelling through Austria, he and his unit made it to Hitler’s mountain retreat in Berchtesgaden. Helen, after escaping, made her way to Bratislava, Slovakia. From there she was involved in smuggling Jews across borders, helping refugees in the underground movement while moving across Eastern Europe and Palestine.

Helen traveled to Warsaw waiting for David. He never showed. She married in 1945 and was involved in distributing food among refugees; going on missions through the United Nations, and going to Peru, Bolivia and Indonesia. She also became a subject for various historians in detailing the horrors of Auschwitz and moved to New York. David, arrived in Hoboken in 1946. He married, became Vice President of Sales for the Wonderland of Knowledge Corporation and had four children and six grandchildren.

Finally, they met 72 years later. Helen, lost her husband in 1996; became bedbound and was becoming blind and deaf. Their reunion lasted about two hours. She told David that she saved him five times from being shipped. David sang to her the song that she taught him in Auschwitz. They never met again and she died last year at the age of 100.

The story of Helen and David demonstrated the power and significance of psychological needs, their emotional component and behavior. This power or drive transcended objectivity, rational thought and influenced behavioral choices. Both of these humans were taken from their homes and placed in inhumane conditions. Their dignity was stripped while they were guarded and abused by humans with rifles and dogs. They witnessed death, disease, starvation, suicide, cruelty and irrationality along with disrespectful religious prejudiced behavior. In spite of their horrific environmental conditions, they risked further abuse and most probably death. Viewing their behavior objectively and rationally, one concludes that their behavior was dangerous and reckless to say the least. Simply put, the strength and dominance of their needs accompanied by emotions dominated their thinking, fantasies, verbal and physical behavior regardless of their environmental circumstances. Let me repeat, a fixation of a psychological need supersedes and becomes dominant irrespective of reality.

Helen especially, demonstrated in Auschwitz and later on, the following attributes based on her character. 1. She accomplished what some might say the impossible by overcoming the barriers related to other human beings 2. She remained loyal to David and other humans by her charitable work 3. She was able to effectively act on impulse 4. She mastered and overcame many obstacles and difficulties 5. She was able to gain control over her environment 6. She made an impression and was able to excite others 7. She was able to give sympathy and gratify the needs of others as well as to the help, support, and console, protect and comfort as well 8. She was able to separate self from an amoral environment 9. She was able to continue to have a sexual life 10. She was able to gain a deeper understanding of the Holocaust by her involvement with historians.

Their story points to the profound and significant importance in connecting with another during times of man’s inhumanity to man. Obviously, not all significant unions occurred in times of war. Their story demonstrated the power and importance of a human connection. Many memories and fantasies are retained and played over and over in one’s psyche. The strength and significance of the connection held firm regardless of no ongoing interaction.

Both David and Helen, despite emotional scars of the concentration camp, survived and lived productive lives. Through the catharsis of telling her story to the historians, allowed her to demonstrate an understanding, nurturance, succorance in giving to others. David, became a Cantor at a Temple and had a son who became a rabbi. David was able to express aggression by his association with 101 Airborne and achieved success. His English became perfect as he identified with his American way of life.

PS

Freddy Mayer, after fleeing Germany as a teenager, enlisted in the U.S. Army and went back to fight the Nazis. He parachuted into Nazi occupied Austria, impersonated a Wehrmacht officer, and helped Allied bombers target Nazis supply trains. He also facilitated the sabotage of a secret Messerschmitt airplane factory and was captured and tortured by the Gestapo. As their prisoner, he was beaten bloody and had a punctured eardrum and missing teeth. He convinced his captors that rather than killing him they should surrender to him. They did and that allowed the advancing American army to capture the entire Austrian Tyrol without firing a shot. More about Freddy can be found in “Return to the Reich-a Holocaust Refugees Secret Mission to Defeat the Nazis.”

Go Blue

One of Jim Harbaugh’s current issues is about his legacy. Jim was hired at the end of 2014 by the University of Michigan to beat Ohio State and turn Michigan’s football program around. Up to that point, Ohio State had whipped the Wolverines in four straight games. By the end of the 2019 regular football season, the Buckeyes have now won nine straight football games. Not only could Harbaugh’s team not be victorious over Urban Meyer’s team, they could not beat first year coach Ryan Day in that 2019 game. This essay focuses on the psychological factors affecting the Wolverines and ideas for a change in results.

Jim Harbaugh had been a good coach in the NFL and at the college ranks. Urban Meyer had been a terrific college coach and has attained three national championships. Some may argue that Meyer was a better coach and had more exceptional players than Jim Harbaugh.

This rivalry has been unprecedented in college football. 50 years ago, in 1969, the number 1 Ohio State Buckeyes were 17 ½ point favorites over the Wolverines. The matchup was between Woody Hayes and his protégé, first year coach Bo Schembechler. For those that remember, coach Schembechler was hired because in 1968 Woody Hayes’ team demolished Bump Elliott’s squad 50-14. Sadly, Bump Elliott passed on December 7, in Iowa.

Schembechler bested Hayes and the ten year rivalry began. Both coaches are coaching legends at their respective schools. In fact, Jim Harbaugh was an All-American quarterback for Schembechler and Harbaugh’s father Jack coached for Schembechler. Urban Meyer was an assistant coach for the Buckeyes in 1986 and was named as their head coach in November, 2011.

The recent Michigan football history is as follows regarding Ohio State. The Buckeyes were victorious against the Wolverines in 2012, 2013, and 2014. Harbaugh first year competition against the Buckeyes was in 2015. In 2015, at the half, Ohio State had a narrow 14 to 10 lead; in 2016, OSU won in two overtime’s; in 2017, the two teams were tied at halftime 14-14 with OSU finally winning 31 to 20; the 2018 score was 62-39; and the 2019 score was 56-27.

Although it can be argued that OSU has better football coaching and more exceptional players than the Wolverines, that argument is for another day. Michigan’s teams under Harbaugh have been nationally ranked but obviously have not played up to their potential with the exception of the 2016 game that ended in two overtimes. Taking a look at the previous last nine years psychologically, this is the reality. Michigan has a significant history of losing their most important rivalry game. Furthermore, coach Harbaugh was brought in to tame OSU. With that being said, Harbaugh has a tremendous amount of anxiety and anger with the mention of OSU and his failure to win. A layperson might call it pressure or stress. Harbaugh may deny, distort, rationalize or avoid thoughts of his anxiety or uneasiness. However, it is there whether he realizes it or not. His anxiety, like a ripple effect, expresses itself in frustration, temper, anger, abruptness, intolerance, impulsivity and is likely externalized toward some object or person. Not only is his coaching staff but his players are affected as well by his personality.

Like all achievement oriented competitors, Harbaugh, his staff and his players have a fear of failure in which they attempt to compensate for this dreaded experience. All the Wolverines have developed expectancies for success with their football achievement. Now, with the history of being soundly defeated, their expectancy for success against OSU has been severely diminished and deflated. They may brag about beating OSU but that’s just a cover or a denial for feelings of inferiority, being second best and an expectation of losing. One’s positive expectations are both important and necessary for optimal motivation and success. They are not afraid of OSU because fear is a transparent and an objective danger. They don’t expect to die, experience some physical danger, or lose a scholarship. It’s about anxiety that is hidden, subjective and mentally carried around. To be successful, one has to be able to recognize and then lower the anxiety level.

When there is a tremendous amount of anxiety, some attempt to escape their anxiety by avoiding situations, thoughts or feelings which might arouse their anxiety. With attempted avoidance of dealing with anxiety, the avoidance operates automatically with an inhibition. Inhibitions, are an attempt to avoid anxiety, and results in the difficulty to do, feel or think effectively.  Inhibitions are often experienced mentally with fatigue, exhaustion, tiredness, weakness, and/or the feeling of strain. Unfortunately, individuals that are unaware have little capacity for overcoming the inhibitions by a conscious effort. Too much anxiety commonly seen in sports has been called “choking”. Inhibitions can affect player performance or failure in many ways. Physically, they don’t and are unable to run as fast as they can; they don’t catch the pass that they normally do, nor are they able to tackle and block as they are capable.  Cognitively, they make mental mistakes like being called for penalties; they miss assignments and are in the wrong player assignment position; they forget the plays and are unable to focus as clearly because of too much anxiety and/or the development of inhibition. In essence, they don’t play their best, but play or perform poorly. Too much anxiety is deadly as far as sports performance. The Wolverines, under Harbaugh, have played poorly in the second half of their football games with the Buckeyes with the exception of the one game in 2016.

Some might say what about 50 years ago when the Wolverines upset the mighty Buckeyes? Psychologically there were significant differences. 1. Yes, the 1968 Wolverines that played and watched that game were humiliated. Now, for these Wolverines we have a motive for revenge. They were able to control their anxiety and use fear of failure to their advantage as far as conditioning and buying into Bo’s unorthodox conditioning and coaching ways. 2. Significant recruiting by Bump brought to Ann Arbor outstanding competitors. At the time, freshmen were not allowed to play varsity football.  So, talented sophomores contributed during the season and in that historic game. 3. There was not a culture of anxiety and low expectations. Instead, Bo Schembechler was the new coach, with a new coaching staff and the new athletic director was Don Canham. 4. That 69 team, starting with the Minnesota game, demolished the rest of their opponents that season. Their talent, their expectations, their motivation and their coaching all came together for that important game. 5. Competitiveness, accomplishments were strong while fear of failure and anxiety were held in check.  There was not too much anxiety nor too little anxiety.  The anxiety level was just right- just like Goldilocks tasting the porridge.

In essence, the University of Michigan football program suffers from humiliating defeats by Ohio State. The football culture requires change especially the athletic department, the head coach and the assistant coaches. There’s too much pressure and anxiety at the moment when it comes to thinking, feeling and performing against Ohio State. Sport psychologists and football consultants-former players and coaches to assist coach Harbaugh and his staff are necessary to assist him to better utilize his players physical and emotional strength. Likewise, sport psychologists for incoming recruits and existing players are also necessary to assist with their emotional and cognitive functioning. The influx of mental health and other football minds might be able to present cognitively new and differing ideas as well as employing mental health principles to combat the low expectation level, fear of failure and anxiety that prevents optimal playing against the rival Ohio State.

Birthdays

Wayne, in response to your response, reaching the eighth decade of my life allows me to contemplate mortality. The train has left the station and the window is closing in so many categories. Recent passing of my friends like Denny, Jim, Jack and Jonathan are reinforcements. To maintain my being, I continue to focus on my passions in life which center on achieving, competing, avoiding failure while keeping mentally and physically sound. I run - walk every day approaching a weekly 50 miles per week. I enter trail run competitions and write a weekly essay pertaining to my interests which are well-being, motivation, aggression, anxiety, nature of man etc.

 I continue on goal setting, expectations, and achieving as opposed to chasing happiness. I like the challenges and the rewards that follow success. Every time I run, I’m aware of keeping my head upright, looking ahead, swinging both arms, heavy breathing while running the hills. Hill running is becoming more difficult which puts me daily in touch with my mortality. I intend to continue running-jogging, walking Training Hill, Main Bar etc. until I can’t or per Tony “find an excuse.” Keep moving remains the mantra.

Regarding birthdays, 19 years ago I joined former Ride and Tie competitors Tom, Tony, Chris, Jeff, Chuck, Jim, Becky, Melissa, Robert, Kathy and others for a birthday trail run followed by a brunch. Lately, some run and some walk. This year’s likely to be the same.

Linda has recovered nicely from her shoulder replacement surgery. Her being out of pain, has been a relief for the both of us. My sister Bev suggested we meet in Orlando on January 1 to watch the Wolverines play Alabama in the Citrus Bowl. Haven’t decided as of yet. Unfortunately, our film project is stalled at the moment. That’s a disappointment presently. Hopefully, we will re -start after the first of the year.

Keep in touch and keep moving all your body parts. . ….I’m grateful we are together marching with the passing of time.

PS

Dr. Wayne is also a psychologist. He has been my friend since Denby High school in Detroit. We both received our PhD’s from Wayne State University in the 70s. I’m honored to have him as a lifelong friend.

Relieved

Sara Hall, age 36, is a world-class runner married to Ryan Hall a former world-class runner. They reside and train in Flagstaff, Arizona at a 7,000 feet elevation level. The November 3, 2019 article “A Runner Refuses to Stop Racing “in the New York Times highlighted her running ability. This marathon runner limits the time between events. She’ll run a marathon and then run another event within two months.

The article pointed out that other world-class runners like Meb Keflezigi at age 36 ran the New York marathon and 69 days later won the 2012 Olympic trials. Sarah’s short downtime between races has been advocated by her husband- coach. Sarah began this training approach in 2015. For example, she qualified for the US cross-country team and then 13 days later entered a marathon in China but was not happy with her 2:48:02 time. She said “I’m not taking a break.” Since that time she has done very well with this approach. For instance, in 2017 she ran a 2:27:21 Frankfurt Marathon in Germany and then 35 days later ran a 2:28 minute win In the California International Marathon. She said one of her greatest motivations “fearing failure.”

Sara claimed to know how her body recovers.  She will run a competitive marathon and then run a shorter race afterwards. She also includes marathon running workouts in her training. Perhaps this young elite runner has other strategies for protecting her body as well. Sara, per the Nike commercial “Just Do It,” I would add “While You Can.”

About 4 to 6 weeks ago, I developed discomfort in my left knee. After a few days of using ibuprofen, I visited my primary care doctor. Dr. Dan suggested that I continue resting for 10 days and continue using ibuprofen. I told him I wanted an X-ray, an MRI and a referral to Dr. V a sports medicine physician who replaced Linda’s shoulder.

After three or four days, I went on the elliptical, discontinued the ibuprofen and then continued my running again. This time I was more tentative, reduced my running distance and ran primarily on the level street. I did not experience discomfort again and over the past month I slowly increased my running distance. The x-ray was negative and the MRI’s finding suggested that I either damaged my medial meniscus or that damage was from my previous meniscus surgery. I still didn’t know the extent of the knee injury and was looking forward to meeting Dr. V.

I met Dr. V and a resident, on a Friday, I told them that I was running up to 8 miles a day without any pain. Dr. V told me that although I had some arthritis there was very little damage to my meniscus. He said that if I develop a problem later on, he would take care of it. He also said for me to resume what I normally do. The next day, was Saturday, and I ran much more relaxed. It was as if the burden and fear was lifted from my shoulders as I ran faster and walked less.

Sara, in my 60s, I ran 50 milers at Jed Smith on the first week in February and then about five weeks later ran the Way Too Cool 50 k‘s. In my 70s, on January 1, I entered the Resolution Run-a 10 mile trail run. I followed that with either a 50 K Jed Smith event in February or another 50 K called the Folsom Lake at the end of February. This past year I only ran The Resolution Run and the Jed Smith event as a result of a previous overuse injury. This coming year I intend to run the Resolution Run and will then decide where to go from there.

PS

Tony and I talked about the upcoming Resolution Run. He indicated that he might have to run a shorter distance this year. For the last five months or so, he hasn’t been running because he was building his home on Whidbey Island.

Age of Hostility

The article titled “Let’s Wage a War on Loneliness” was timely based on my recent essay that pertained to the denial, fear, and anxiety of being alone. This current article was published in the November 10, 2019 edition of the New York Times. Loneliness is a symptom of an illness in our Republic as we live in an Age of Hostility. We have been at war since 9/11; lead the world in incarceration rates; lead the world in the number of guns per capita; lead the world in number of homicides;  threatened by  terrorist and homeland attacks;  epidemic of opiate related deaths; lead the world in unevenness  of income; have more than 500,000 homeless;  exhibit  unfair employment  opportunities; high rates of   depression and  teen suicide ;  witness verbal and physical  attacks on different  political, religious, ethnic points of view;   continue to deal with the Roe vs Wade craziness; have  increasingly large numbers of hate groups;  have  excessive  social media, cable TV , film and radio  sadistic abuses; view excessive violent commercials and electronic games; use  of aggressive speech like “lock her up” and even the title “Let’s Wage a  War on Loneliness” depicts hate, prejudice, violence and hostility. These are just a few examples of disrespectful language and sadistic behavior exhibited by man toward man in our culture and suggest that the socialization of civility practices have failed.

Although the Existentialist Barrett expertly expressed man’s nature in the following: “the individual is thrust out of the sheltered nest that society has provided. He can no longer hide his nakedness by the old disguises….. He learns that the solitude of the self is an irreducible dimension of human life no matter how completely that self-had seemed to be contained in the social milieu. In the end, he sees each man as solitary and unsheltered before his own death”; it is clear that some are able to form interpersonal relationships better than others despite this reality.

It’s true that culture has a tremendous impact on the motives, goals, ideals and values that affect man’s needs and motives and/ or socialization. It is also clear that by preschool age, psychological differences and characteristics are present and are predictive of future adolescent and adult behavior. For example preschool children have been described as highly active, outgoing, boisterous, independent, explorative, curious, and adventurous. Other preschool children have been described as passive, dependent, shy, aggressive, and withdrawing. We also know that child’s personality, values, attitudes etc. are heavily influenced by parents who reside in that particular culture of hostility.

The need or motive that propels an individual toward other individuals has been described by Murray as the need for Affiliation. In order to have a friend, one “has to be near and enjoyably cooperate or reciprocate with an allied other.” It is clear that one would have to have positive experiences and reinforcements coupled with positive feelings toward another. Further, one has to “please and win affection of a cathected object.” Once again, one has to be able to navigate as well as to approach and avoid certain conflicts. This would take some degree of the development of empathy, care, respect and emotional strength. Also, one has to “adhere and remain loyal to a friend.” This suggests that despite perceived slights or disapproval one has enough ego strength in order to work through various disappointments, lies and injustices. In other words, one has to have important personality characteristics in establishing friends and friendships in an attempt to fulfill the need for union with another. Important personality characteristics are found within the emotional level. Emotions affects all perceptions. No one or the other are perfect. All humans have deficits or flaws. Yet, it is possible, for many, to develop unions despite various emotional limitations, conflicts and non - satisfying encounters.

Unfortunately, there are many physical and verbal violence and attacks on others. This toxic behavior runs rampant in our culture and severely affects the personality development of all individuals. Individuals brought up in this culture, pass characteristics on to their offspring and so forth. No one is immune from the dominance and impact of culture on its citizens. The newspaper article highlighted strategies developed by the current Minister of Loneliness in Great Britain to deal with this condition.

Various programs implemented in Great Britain are based on superficial techniques and not on various emotional needs or causes. They have slogans and campaigns like “Let’s Talk Loneliness.” Also, they provided small grants to local gardening clubs, birdwatching groups and others so they can invite people to join. They also support “friendly benches” which are public benches where people are encouraged to go and chat with one another.

Although these programs are well intended they do not address individual need structures. We can identify individuals at an early age that are likely to be lonely and have fears and anxiety of interacting with others. However our tax monies go to Defense; building a wall; putting immigrants and their children in separate cages; and maybe providing healthcare for our warriors. Just think of all the funding of monies by lobbyists for special interests, for corporations and even to re-elect our politicians. We can have a so called war on drugs but not a war on loneliness. I would reframe and not use the word” war” but instead use the word “alleviate “or” solve. “

It’s not surprising that many individuals fear and avoid others in this Age of Hostility.  Many individuals are sadomasochistic, narcissistic, impulsive, revengeful, prejudiced, mean, disrespectful, defected conscience – with moral limitations, argumentative, defensive, anxious, neurotic, demeaning, not truthful and non-trustworthy. It’s just not safe to be with many individuals that don’t seem to care one bit for another. Withdrawing into self, using drugs are just some of the behaviors that affect the loneliness epidemic. Certainly living in our culture of hostility affects personality development in negative or toxic ways for all concerned. As a result, our Republic is significantly affected. To treat our sick Republic, the necessary medicine required is for an adjustment in the attitude and behavior of its citizens that will result in changing the culture.