Sick Republicans

 

The January 6 congressional committee revealed significant information regarding Trump’s coup attempt. Much of the under oath testimony was  provided by the Trump White House staff. Their testimony has been  damaging and has reinforced the lies that have been propagated. Yet, too many seem unconvinced. Why can’t they take the blindfolds off? This disquisition pertains to some of his loyal followers.

The loyalists cannot be called the tribe because the tribe is a social division in the” traditional” society.  However, his group  might have a very general common culture within.  A clan is defined as a group of close knit and interrelated families.A cult is a misplaced or excessive admiration for a particular person or thing.  A fraternity is defined as a group of people sharing a common profession or interests.  A loyalist is  defined as a person who remains loyal to the established ruler or government, especially in the face of a revolt.  In any event, Trump's followers are loyal to him and exhibit cult-like characteristics - excessive commitment. Doubt and dissent are discouraged or even punished.

The testimony from the January 6 congressional committee revealed : 1.  Bill Barr and others in the White House told Trump that he lost the fair election.  2. The over 60 lawsuits that were filed claiming election fraud were denied or thrown out of court.  3.  Prior to the November election, plans were put in place to overturn election results. It  continues even today. One example was Trump claiming fraud 4.  Fake electoral college results were submitted.  5.  Attempts to seize voting machines, calling out the National Guard; putting Clark In as Atty. Gen.; calling Georgia's Atty. Gen. asking for more votes; attacking the capital ; putting pressure on Pense  to delay the counting of ballots, and the plan that the vote would  then be performed by the Congress.  Further, Steve Bannon had a fraudulent border wall scheme and raised millions .He was sentenced for not obeying  the congressional committee subpoena.  Alex Jones, another Trump bigot, raised money based on  lies.  He was ordered by a Texas jury to pay close to $50 million at his Sandy Hook trial.  

It has  also been reported that Trump made 30,573  false and misleading claims  over four years.  A few include: 1.  It didn't rain on his inauguration 2. Coronavirus was under control.  3.  Rep ilhan Omar supports Al Qaeda.  4.  The trade deficit with China used to be 500 billion 5.  Trump didn't know about the Stormy Daniels payment.  Further, Trump ran a fraudulent university and  foundation.  In essence, Trump is a pathological liar.His election fraud lie is a lie.He is the one that is fraudulent. He has made millions based on lies. 

Although the January's 6 committee is not done with their investigation, the Justice Department and other courts are investigating the fraud, the insurrection and criminal behavior.  The majority of Americans see Trump as a liar and danger to this country's democracy.  However, many do not. Why would anyone believe a pathological liar and not believe the congressional committee's findings or the Justice Department ? Individuals with a paranoid personality disorder diagnosis believe in nonsense.  

Briefly, basic trust is the key to understanding paranoid individuals.  Unfortunately, these individuals have internalized sadistic attitudes and conscience from parents. As a result , their aggressive attitudes  are directed both against self and toward others. This psychological dynamic becomes a defense from becoming emotionally close and forming meaningful relationships with others. These individuals are on guard , very sensitive to traces or elements of hostility, especially criticisms , being told their wrong from others meaning to be helpful. They are vigilant and extremely vulnerable. Unfortunately, this tendency interferes with actual reality especially when the criticism is minimal or with suggestions for improvement.Others are perceived as the enemy.  In any event, these paranoid individuals magnify potential harm and expect others to also see these actions as they do. Many are unaware of the degree of their repressed anger and hostility.  In essence, they have trouble distinguishing between fact and lies. With a threatened ego,their ability to perceive,think,remember,abstract,generalize and reason is impaired. Moreover, they have identified and become fixated on Trump and his lies.Their damaged superego has internalized an amoral conscience from parents.Therefore, they have no difficulty identifying with an amoral Trump.

  They are denying objective reality and projecting their anger onto others that they believe comes from others.  In essence, these paranoid tendencies individuals are easily misled into believing  the untruths spread by their leader.  People from Mexico are not coming to rape and steal from them; immigrants are not the enemy but actually do well economically and better than most nativeborn's; the Democrats don't eat babies; there's not going to be a second coming; there's not going to be a second Civil War ; buying guns and building bunkers are not going to keep them safe.These paranoids have low self esteem; can’t trust others and have difficulty trusting themselves; believe in various nonsense and hold grudges. 

There's a second group of others that may or may not believe the reality that Trump fairly lost the election . However,  behavior, of some, suggests  that they have sociopathic tendencies. These extremely hostile and aggressive individuals , are using the election lie as an excuse for their purposeful acting out uncontrollable behavior  .Punishments have been ineffective in limiting their behavior.  Even though Trump was president, at the time, he did not lawfully let them lead them in attacking the capital.  The attack on the capital was amoral, not an insurrection , and  was based on a lie.  Criminal charges and incarcerations have followed.  Briefly, those that knowingly knew they were breaking the law and challenging authority are not necessarily sociopathic.

These sociopathic tendencies are illustrated by their seemingly inability to learn in certain social areas.  In other words, their antisocial behavior continues to result in legal prosecution. It’s not necessarily related to intelligence.However, there is some profit or benefit for their behavior.    They don't appear to fully realize, seem to learn nor acknowledge  that what they are doing is socially wrong and dangerous. Neither can they commit  to a peaceful transition of power,  that they have a responsibility to society ,nor have the ability to empathize with the victim.  Attacking the capital was clearly wrong. Attacking  Capitol police officers was totally wrong, defacing the building, breaking windows, smearing feces etc., are examples.They also have shallow feelings , without remorse and are good actors. They have mastered lying,cheating and manipulating.  On one hand,they can express sorry, seem  sincere and forthcoming, yet they repeat the behavior again.It’s not what they necessarily say but what they do. They cannot control their emotional impulses,they repeat their aggression and they are very good at denying their wrongdoing. I did not do anything wrong. On video, there are many illustrations of their remarks ,slogans like 1776, Christ is King, Hang Mike Pence etc.are rationalizations. They have identified with another amoral individual and so these individuals easily follow his attitude and behavior with a passion.  It's permission to act out their repressed  rage.  Likely, they had inconsistent messaging, neglect and reinforcement for their amoral behavior towards others within their rearing.experiences;they were the trouble maker; the bad seed, or the identified patient . Often they unconsciously acted out the repressed family secrets and fantasies. 

In essence, regardless of the congressional hearings and criminal justice findings, a number of these followers cannot take in that information and will still be subjected to the false beliefs and lies of their leader.  A conversion,exorcism or some other magic is not likely to fix paranoid tendency individuals  For sociopathic tendency individuals, punishment is required. Hopefully there's enough clear minded moral individuals to deflect from all the crazies in order for our country to move ahead. However, I see  bumps,turns, and barriers on the road ahead. 

PS 

Economic stress continues. Affordability fell 29% between March 2021 and March 2022. 83% stated , in a poll,  the economy was “poor” or “not so good” found in The Week,June 17,2022. Economic stress exacerbates all types of mental health issues. More negative interpersonal man against man encounters are predicted. 40% ,according to one poll, believe in ghosts.Our country is in trouble.

Reference

Cameron,Norman . Personality Development and Psychopathology

Deciding Motherhood

 

Separation   "The division of something into constituent or distinct elements." Factually, the separation of church and state is not found in the Constitution of the United States.  However, in the First Amendment, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."  Recently, the Christian majority in the Supreme Court overturned abortion rights.  I raise the following questions: 1.  Is abortion a medical procedure?  2.  Is abortion a criminal or legal question ?  3.  Is abortion  related to religion?  4. Is abortion a societal issue?  5.  Is abortion a psychological issue?  6.  Do embryos and fetuses have human rights? 7..Are state legislatures'  supreme in  defining  motherhood ? These questions are briefly addressed...

It was reported that a 10-year-old  was impregnated and the doctor that provided the abortion is now facing inquiry by a male politician in Indiana.  " Thou shall not have an abortion” is not a commandment , Jesus didn’t have an opinion about  abortion; and it’s been written that abortions were” common” during his times. Now, that doesn't mean that individuals can’t find  Biblical passages to justify a position. St. Augustine stated abortion was not homicide but was a sin. If it was intended to conceal fornication or adultery.  Clearly, individuals can debate what was written by "someone" centuries ago..However, forget about being able to verify accuracy, credentials or expertise.. Religious beliefs are ideas created by man..  Does a female adult have a right to discuss, with a religious person, about receiving an abortion? Is that a state right? .

From a medical point of view, having an abortion or not to have an abortion  rationally should be a discussion between a licensed healthcare professional and the mother and/or father. That health care provider can explain how the procedures are done as well as the risk and benefits of each. If using medication,,that is called a medical abortion. If it’s a medical procedure,that is called a surgical abortion.  In any event, having an abortion should be done with a licensed healthcare professional..Further, because it is in the medical,field ,research healthcare insurance for additional information regarding coverage benefits.

Should a  pregnant 10-year-old become a mother?  Our society has enough problems without adding to the issue of having youngsters become mothers. If a  teen  wants to drive a car, the teen has to receive a license according to age eligibility . If one wants to join the military, a high school graduation requirement is pertinent.. Maybe we should have a law requirement to become a mother?  Who would make that decision?  Should these decisions be made by congress,state legislatures or the court?

Back in the day, my high school football friend impregnated Carolyn.  Fortunately, Ed was a high school All-American ,college All-American and NFL first draft pick.  Brad benefited and he became a college All-American and NFL first round draft pick as well.  Ed and Carolyn are still married and Brad became a physical therapist after his playing days. That event occurred  in the 1950s. In the 1980s, I was a consultant for pregnant high school teens. I also originated a research study measuring the ego identity of  high school pregnant teens compared to  nonpregnant high school teens.  The results of that study indicated that pregnant teens psychologically had lower ego identity scores, lower self-concepts scores and lower achievement scores.

Currently, statistics on teens are not terrific regarding unemployment;  living with their parents; time spent on leisure; being bullied ; crime; alcohol;drugs; suicide; depression and anxiety. Some  teens that live at home with guns have murdered.  One can raise the issue that parenting is important. For example, according to my friend Dave, an admission official from Stanford University told him that based on test scores and grades, only Asians would be  admitted.

Just think of the homeless problem and all the reports of adults in their 20s, 30s and 40s still living at home because they are unable to provide for themselves.  One has to wonder why parents allow these adults to still live at home with them.  The numbers are increasing.  As of September 4, 2020 ,52% of young adults resided with one or both of their parents. according to the Pew Research Center.  That figure was 47% in February., 2020.  Of course, if a child is caring for their declining health parents ,that’s a different story. Yes, many can’t afford to leave home. Reasons are for another essay.  In essence, parenting is extremely important and that most important decision, which affects so many, should not be made by a Christian court whose members sinned and were misleading during Roe vs. Wade confirmations.

An article in the July 24, 2022 edition of the New York Times made the following points.  The article titled "Religious Doctrine Drove the Abortion Decision."  A few items: 1.  Of the Constitution’s 7600 words including the 27 amendments, the use of the word fetus or unborn can not be found.  2. Religious doctrines drove the opposition to Roe and the courts embraced the religious doctrine 3.  Abortion would soon be illegal in about half the states.  4.  Justice Alioto was insincere when he stated, on one hand, that the courts do not pretend to know how our political system or society will respond to today's decision. He also said we cannot allow our decisions to be affected by any extraneous influences such as concern about the public reaction to our work.  Alito committed a sin   "Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor."  5.  Pastor Nelson stated justice is concerned for the fetuses…,overlooked the lives and experiences of women…. Showing no regard for life experience is immoral .  6.  The dissent talked about the effects of pregnancy on women.  The burden of motherhood and the difficulties faced by poor women. And there is no regard for  protecting prenatal life.  I agree, this decision pertaining to the fetus is based on one religious interpretation. To make an established medical procedure governed by  medical insurance  illegal ,is unfathomable , irrational, cruel and sadistic. What about the mother’s welfare and well being ?  To claim that a fetus and embryo has human rights is ridiculous.  How long would a fetus or embryo live if in a petri dish? 

The second article titled "Unconsenting" was  found in the July 17, 2022 edition of the New York Times. This article made the following points: 1. Abortion was considered a crime in the writing of the Constitution because it  did not contain a right to choose to terminate the pregnancy.  2.;A 17th century lawyer’s rape opinion : Did the woman in the rape resist vigorously enough; Had she had cried out loudly enough; Had she sustained   conspicuous physical injuries; Did she  report the crime soon enough.  3. Was the woman simply attempting to say she was raped in order to protect her reputation and dignity and/or was she covering that up her shame at having succumbed to her own desires. What biblically based evil temptresses nonsense.  Historically, people believe in demons, witchcraft  sorcery, voodoo, angels, devil, ghosts, fairy’s,  goblins, wizards, etc. and as Forrest Gump said, "stupid is as stupid does."  It is perfectly natural to have sexual desires. For Hale, it's up to the woman to prove she was raped at that time according to this enlightened individual. Yes, a woman has desires as does a man.  However, having sex, and/or becoming pregnant for only a sexual desire is not rational. Having a child is a most significant decision. However, rape is not about sexual desire but about power and control . Does Sir Matthew address power?  With rape, it’s prudent to discuss power.  Ask Prof. Anita Hill, Esq. and Dr. Christine  Blasey Ford about their encounters with Thomas and Kavanaugh.  These men have no business deciding on women's rights.  Their past behavior of taking away these women’s rights was sadistic  and suggest character flaws in these males.  To have them vote on taking away a woman's right to choose is criminal, preposterous and absurd.  4.  Justice Alioto cites Sir Matthew Hale eight times as evidence that abortion is considered a crime at the time of the writing of the Constitution.  It would've been more relevant for Alioto to cite John Baker's article titled Philosophy and the Morality of Abortion, published in the Journal of Applied Philosophy,Volume 2, Number2, 1985.

For the  justices ,with one religious point of view, basing evidence on the Constitution, written by men,trained on English law  and taking away a woman's right to choose is mentally foolish and irrational.  Hopefully, the referendum in Kansas and saying no to the government regarding restricting abortion is a  favorable sign..Horay for sanity. Will rationality  prevail in the majority of states? I don't expect sanity and rationality to prevail in all the states.  Abortion is about the wellbeing for mother and child . It’s an important medical and psychological decision, not, at all, exclusively a religious or political decision. The individual in question has a right to get as many points of view as possible. But having a law determining that the female should become a mother is the definition of insanity. That decision was not about justice which is a genuine respect for people;with righteousness,equitableness or morality; nor the characteristics of justice based on impartiality,consistency,standing and trust. In essence, these individuals demonstrated a dereliction of duty .Their decision did not address the mental, physical or  moral justice for the majority of women. 

PS

An article found in The Week June 17, 2022 stated, "is it moral to have children in a warming world?  Will humanity prevail and avert the apocalypse and limit global warming? Global warming is  a moral question to consider regarding birth . And, do not forget that many poor single mothers require much assistance after giving birth.  And. what kind of assistance are these cruel religious states going to provide?

Man's Anxiety

 

How does man escape from the anxiousness of being alone in an alienated,stressful, hostile world of war, famine, health insurance ,fire, Covid, global warming,inflation, the bomb,income inequality,unemployment, Depression,Housing Bubble, racism etc.? Some strategies include chemical and alcohol addictions, medications, intoxications, suicide, other self punishments and  identification with some perceived power. This disquisition is brief and describes man's attempts to deal with his dilemma.

 For a long time, man remains as one of the most helpless and impotent of all mammals. Thus, man is motivated by his strivings caused by anxiety which results in irrational self harming. Irrational behaviors that only mask neurosis.In other words, man attempts to escape from his discomfort.

 Man would perish if it wasn't for his caretaker being his helper  as he is totally dependent upon such. The family, especially his mother and father, are significant for that survival. His initial dependency physiologically and psychologically is on his mother. While proceeding from primary to secondary narcissism, that infant begins to individuate.This forms a psychological division between self and other.Before separation, is called primary narcissism He's totally dependent and subservient for his security,satisfaction and survival based on her activity. Then he proceeds  from dependency to individuation or to  secondary narcissism (  separation).  This has been described by Freud  within the Oedipal drama  At first, mother is the helper, the giver of assistance and most important for his survival. Then, through individuation, separation, and growth results in him becoming psychologically alone and insecure. 

Developmentally, psychologically alone, the anxiety of separation motivates him to seek assistance from others .Later others become significant helpers like teachers, coaches, peers, peer groups, lovers, etc.The motivation is to avoid the dreaded anxiety of separateness of being alone. Self esteem can become inflated as well in this process. Within the dynamic of dependency- separation, the necessity for  a helper is repeated throughout lifetime.  Man is essentially figuring out how to cope with his anxiety through this interpersonal dynamic which unfortunately becomes conflictual. For example, In certain character structures, the dependency results in a masochistic dependency.

Roughly 6,000 years ago, give or take, man created  the 10 Commandments. These commandments characterize man as being  sadistically amoral with submission. These rules demonstrate power over man’s weaknesses. Is man's conscience or moral arbiter missing ? Do only some men have a moral conscience? Later, these behaviors were labeled  sinful with the idea that man was essentially sinful. One could've labeled these behaviors as victims dominated by power or just man being man.

In the Middle Ages, there was a religious war, caused by Luther and Calvin. Also, during that time ,there were non competitive guilds that regulated commerce, work,cooperation, wages and so forth. There was a sense of togetherness and solidarity. Man was not alone.However, with the development of a Protestant way of thinking, man was characterized as sinful, wicked,unworthy,useless, despicable and could only be saved by submitting to a God that neither represented justice nor love. The helper in this case was God. God was worshiped because only him could alleviate  the misery that resulted from living in an unjust world. Sen. Rafael Warnock said his dad told him: "God walks beside you through life's dark moments and dangerous valleys.One who never abandons us, especially those who feel forgotten, discarded and lost in a mean, cold world."  Man required all the help he could receive because of life’s conditions. One had to humble himself before God.Then Calvin’s idea of predestination  prevailed. Mysteriously, some men were chosen to be saved, while others not.  It didn't matter how you lived your life. God somehow decided if you were going to heaven or going to hell. Of course this was all according to Calvin.

At the same time , the Guild system was being supplanted by capitalism. In essence, Protestant religion’s teachings included the idea that man is now able to face the greatness of God alone( Church not required). The purpose of man's life was God's glory and nothing of his own. Man's activity had no further aim outside of himself and man is insignificant, subordinate and now alone. Man is now prepared to become a servant to the capitalistic economic machine.

Under the Guild system ,labor was more or less regulated and generally the product was sold irrespective of supply and demand.  Capitalism grew and the notion of activity, efficiency and time mattered. Work is good as long as it doesn't interfere ( interests) with being in God’s grace . Now with capitalism,  similar to Protestant thinking, a set of character dynamics began to be developed as a result of the different socioeconomic activities that surfaced. There is competition to sell products for profit.Monopoly’s are just fine. With rivalry , profit, and accumulation of capital, exploitation surfaced with character tendencies for egotism, greed, selfishness and control. The pursuit of profit was supreme. In essence, with capitalism, economic gains were the result of man's intelligence, diligence, courage, thrift, or luck . His own merits and actions creates a potential to rise above previous economic obstacles such as caste.Self interests of egotism become powerful motivators with the rise of capitalism .Capitalism has become the master of man. However, today’s worker bee is likely to be enslaved with a Sisyphean pointlessness of individual labor. His activity provides  wealth for the already incredibly wealthy at the expense of well-being, dignity, and happiness.

Dependency,  inequality, wealth and being prosperous was good because it’s worthy. It was your effort alone . it was your fault if you were poor.With competition, rivalry, and monopoly ,man became controlling, exploitative, domineering, greedy , selfish and irrational in his pursuit of masking the anxiety of being alone.Thus, sadomasochistic  character qualities were developed of owner with his pursuit and dependency on money and accumulation of capital. Money became his helper.It was survival of the fittest and/or to destroy or be destroyed.

Currently, there are CEO rankings for salaries, for sports, for happiness, for health outcomes etc. It appears that we have rankings for  just about everything that we do.Being first is terrific and the “prize.” If you're second , you are the first loser.  Just think of the time difference between winners of gold versus silver medals in Olympic swimming events. Yes, they can be measured electronically. There is a rivalry between the University of Michigan and Ohio State .Both are two superb educational institutions with sport programs to match. We start talking about who's the best.  In fact, a football coach can be fired ,based on his record, if his team of teens and young adults don't win the big game.  How rational is that fact?  If you listen to NBA players that have been traded, they are always talking about winning the championship for their new team. This talk is supposed to justify the outlandish salaries they received in compensation. The typical person can't tell you who won the NBA championship 10 years ago, let alone five, or even care. With competition and rivalry we have established as fact : good- bad,strong, weak, winners- losers etc. all these words have moral and derogatory meanings. According to Vince Lombardi "sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can."

The helper becomes a magic helper just as mother .She was “ replaced “ by God;by  capitalism and now the mighty dollar. The mighty dollar is worshiped because it can buy  things for consumption. More is better,big is better etc. for  consumption.  Doesn't matter if the products or items are insignificant.  It's about buying and consuming. The individual with his anxiety as a base is driven to consume. Ask Bezos or Musk about their worship ,their idol- fame,the power of money.  They accumulate more and more and have to be number one.  During the process, they exploit,lie, steal, manipulate and are "sinful" with their sadistic interactions with man while submitting and being dependent at the same time. Yes they are extreme examples and are only used to illustrate. However, do these authoritarians favor unions, paying workers more, increasing benefits,allowing a 4 day work week?

These character tendencies for pursuing, dominance, power ,control and submission  are sadomasochistic.  Certainly Musk and Bazos interactions have sadomasochistic tendencies regardless of who's on the other end. It’s not a matter of their emotional strength but their insecurity about possession. For masochism, the impulse driven by anxiety to submit ,to follow ,to desire .It is unconscious and likely beyond awareness.  But we do see that dynamic of submitting to some power or force.  Psychologically, that's a result of anxiety that's triggered by powerlessness ,insecurity and helplessness of being alone.Security can’t be bought regardless of all the possessions or trips in space.  One doesn't do well being alone,for long, in this world. As a consequence, being alone results in a tendency to interact or wanting to be associated or identified with someone or something that has been perceived as omnipotent, and powerful.That someone  or something is supposed to reduce the individuals anxiety of being powerless ,not in control, low self esteem  by magically taking care of, boosting self esteem, and assisting that individual by making things better. It's not rational, it’s the pursuit of illusion and make believe.The degree of anxiety plays a dominant role. It's a magic quest that sits in the unconscious.and drives the irrational behavior in an attempt to rid the anxiety.

If the individual has difficulty functioning in this hostile world,the escape from anxiety that was once supported by mother, father, God is now directed with an identification with another .Our country has a plethora of  socioeconomic, physical and mental health issues.These external forces drive the  anxiety of the insecurity, of powerlessness impotency and loneliness in the quest for security.The identification with the source or magic helper is psychologically enacted  to establish consistency and the” necessary” power to remove the  awful dread, doubt and  adequacy to cope. 

.The psychological factors are now established for a tendency to develop an authoritarian character. The authoritarian character's insecurity  and inadequacy drives him toward some “powerful” figure  to magically provide and regain some form of security, safety and esteem. Therefore, is not surprising that a political party, comprised  primarily of evangelical whites, facing existential threats to power, are motivated to find a powerful individual ,seemingly strong, that favors eliminating abortion, packing the Supreme Court, giving  tax advantages for the top 1%, continuing  war, disparaging and taking away previously established rights and benefits of nonwhites with slogans of going back to old times when the white individuals ruled without competition. White is pure, beautiful ,good, clean while black is dirty ,evil and bad.  It's about the past, not at all about the future.The past brings God into the picture in order to persecute all the heathens.

The current authoritarianism character tendencies of many white evangelicals has been fostered by Protesant ideas and capitalism with its sadomasochistic tendencies of amorality which divides individuals into rich- poor , good - bad, pure -evil, love-hate, religious-heathen etc.categories  of division and not human solidarity. Today, we have too much alienation with  attacks on American culture. A society expressed by those that are looking to the past of an America that was discriminatory and racist.  Sen. Warnock told the story of his father, a World War II veteran returning home to Georgia on a bus.  Even though dressed in uniform, the white bus driver told him to move to the back so that he could give his seat to a young white lad. Sadomasochism characteristics are similar to authoritarian characteristics and used  in describing  the Republican Party with its white evangelical nationalist followers.

 

References

Conservatism's Uncertain Future and My Dad Walked with God.  The New York Times, June 19, 2022.

Fromm, Erich.  Escape from Freedom

It's Time To Stop Living the American Scam.  The New York Times July 10, 2022. 

PS

in the July 24, 2022 edition of the New York Times, David Brooks article.”  I Was Wrong about Capitalism” is relevant.  He stated that over the years, special interest groups have clogged up the  economy with overly burdensome regulations, work rules, and perverse tax structures.  He also added that some of the fundamental flaws of capitalism are that the most educated Americans were amassing more wealth, dominating the best living areas, pouring advantages for their kids. And a highly unequal caste system was forming.  He added that the government would have to get much more active for every child to have an open field and a fair chance.  And, that he was wrong to oppose Obama's stimulus recovery as well as Obama's auto bailout on free-market grounds.

Love Is Elusive

 

Love is a word that's commonly misused .There are a variety of meanings employed when referring to love. As a result, the use of the word is often misleading. The  history of man, musical lyrics, novels, poetry ,myths etc. describe a multitude of sentiments and facets called” love.”  Cleopatra and Mark Antony, Abelard and Heloise, Romeo and Juliet and Frankie and Johnny come to mind.Was it  love?  Masters and Johnson, The Pill, Hugh Hefner, Gloria Steinem, Larry Flynt,Viagra, and Dr. Ruth were household words regarding sex .This disquisition  describes qualities of thinking, feeling and behavior associated with love.In other words, love has to do with thinking , feeling and interacting with somebody ..

Love is a feeling or sentiment even though feelings rapidly change, are difficult at times to label, and are of short duration.Love ,in addition to a feeling ,has to do with thinking and behavior. Attitude is defined as a set of emotions, beliefs and behaviors towards a particular object or person. This disquisition pertains to love within an interpersonal union and not to an event,abstract or idea like god,freedom,democracy,followers, possessions etc. .Qualities and the aim of love include care,security, growth and satisfaction within a significant union.

Care encompasses health, welfare, protection and  trust. Health refers to both mind-body being free of impairment.Health refers to physical condition. If the lover is overweight or obese or that demonstrates inadequate caring for self.Obesity is associated with illness,delusion rationalization and not longevity. Obesity is a disease that occurs because of self-defeating behavior. These characteristics suggest one has to be able care for themselves before they can care for another.

 Psychologically, the individual has to be free of neurosis,addictions,drugs and  to be able to receive love. Further, tendencies of  defensiveness,deceitfulness, sadomasochism,selfishness, and narcissism are also not healthy character traits. Instead, rationality,reason are important and not having tendencies for mistrust, hate and division. Caring is  being able to listen without judgment. The goal for listening is to provide  understanding with empathy; being able to give necessary assistance when asked; and being able to have the knowledge,expertise without being a rescuer .For instance, the ability to say: “ I do not know” is necessary for honesty and for developing trust. In other words, caring has to be more than words. It's like an attitude. It's more than a feeling, because the behavior encompasses rationality,honesty and not just a means to an end. Appropriate  honesty and consistency helps establish trust with the notion that I can count on you to be there.

Security has to do with the occurrence of both the physiological and the psychological stresses. Security has to encompass  the  well-being of both.  Can an attitude, feeling of safety and reliability exist without emotional security?  It’s also about understanding, the insecurities and the emotional triggers at play. Can the giver provide a sense of security in those circumstances?  Verbal and behavioral reassurance must be employed with reliability and consistency for trust to develop.  For example, telling someone they are crazy, nothing to be fearful about, I have it covered,don't feel scared is not helpful. Everyone’s  thoughts and feelings are uniquely their own. First, understand the threat and second provide reassurance in words, silence and/or actions.Perhaps saying: I understand or saying nothing but providing physical contact like a hug might be all that's necessary. Perhaps calmly expressing rational explanations might work.  It's important to  understand the intellectual and emotional triggers and fight against tendencies to rescue, to fix,to make it go away. Do not allow personal insecurities to get in the way. Be there in the present.

 For Intellectual, creative  and physical growth to occur, one mission for the partner is to provide positive reinforcement for the interests and passions. It's not about control, restraint or restrictions.  It's about acknowledging the interplay between satisfying the recurring dependent and the independent dynamic.Retentive tendencies can squash and stifle  growth.  Controlling behavior is counterproductive and interferes  with facilitating and reinforcing someone's interest or passions.Linda has a passion for  music, so I support and reinforce her passion.Rivalry is also counterproductive and stifles growth.Warmth,empathy ,reinforcement, and being in the present is imperative. 

Satisfaction encompasses much within an interpersonal relationship, especially when it comes to sex. Mutual sexual satisfaction for both is an important element  and not just focusing on one partners pleasure. Jane Fonda, age 84, stated women get better at sex as they age:  "Give me what I want." Well that's half the story .Mutuality is prime. Satisfaction has to deal with pleasure ,fulfillment of wishes, expectations and needs. One must  enjoy and receive pleasure from  their partner.Temporary chemical and behavioral craziness can exist at the beginning of a sexual relationship and eventually fades. Sex is wonderful with a person that you love. It's the foreplay, jubilation, exaltation, unparalleled pleasure, super delight with  sensuality.  It's reaching the top of the mountain, not at all like Sisyphus. Internal thoughts during and after the wonderful sexual  experience tells  the true story of love. Freud referred to it, in part, as genital love;  Maslow, in part, as the most intense ecstatic perfection approaching the level of a mystic experience ;and Fromm, in part , as experience of sharing, of communion which permits the full unfolding of one's own inner activity and its the mystical experience within a union. 

 Infatuation fades. What  happens after the initial "romantic" episode? Individuals have histories, needs,expectations,goals and interests and so forth. It’s unrealistic to expect  to find personal satisfaction,pleasure or fulfillment in all the activities of the other. Linda likes to fly fish,not me.However, I accompany her on her outings. However, one must like their partner. It’s also a fact that sexual satisfaction does not cure neurosis ,addictions,isolation or sadism.

Emotional maturity is also important for the ability to love self and the object.Is the individual emotionally ready for love, without unresolved conflicts or attachments ? Emotional readiness is not of chronological age, gender or color of skin .Some individuals may be capable and have the emotional maturity for love in their 20’s, 30s, 40s, 50s , 60s etc.  In other words, it’s definitely not teenage” love “ with their rising hormones . My research study of pregnant teenagers found they had low self-esteem, poor body image and not a clear sense of who they were. Deficits of an emotional understanding of self  becomes obvious. For many, the task of adolescence is not about love, but about sex, affiliation and acquiring money. Within emotional readiness, the individual has to be capable of intimacy, giving  and not simply in a quid pro quo relationship  There has to be an absence of submission to power,seeking approval and especially not pursuing fiction, romance and illusions. Emotionally it’s the giving to another that enhances both The capability of care, security ,growth and satisfaction contributes to an actualization intellectually and physically for well being.

Selfishness is not part of the love equation. Selfishness is not  self-love.Selfishness is a type of greediness. Greediness is an element of the insatiable desire in which  the  individual never finds any real satisfaction. It’s a bottomless pit .It’s the pursuit to satisfy that need, without ever reaching it. It’s like always being hungry, never being full. We also know that with greediness, the individual fears not getting enough, of missing something or being deprived.  Selfishness is a deficit based on insecurity and non fulfillment. Individuals struggling with insecurities, and so forth are not in a position to give to another. Persons that are selfish also have low self esteem and dislike themselves. If one has a negative view of self, one is not capable of loving another.

Narcissism ,which is self adulation, is also  an example of someone who is deficient in security and satisfaction. If one has achieved a belief in self and is not totally subservient to the pursuit of money, career,power, possessions and so forth, that can be a plus. If one is devoted more towards accumulation, possessing, achieving and is driven primarily by tendencies for self-interest or adulation that can interfere with loving another.  So there can be too much self absorption.It's really the ability to  balance the life ratio between needs of self and the needs of another. Also important in the ability to love is need coherence and not need dissonance. For example, if my need for succorance is critical-have my needs satisfied by the sympathetic aid of another; to be appreciated, nurtured, and to always have a supporter ,then finding that characteristic in the partner is critical .I certainly don't want to partner with someone that has a need for abasement which is to accept injury, to blame ,to criticize, and one that self punishes.

Sadomasochism, as in spousal abuse, is also not associated with love and yet we see couples in dysfunctional relationships .It’s critical not to sacrifice and  be dependent based on subordination. With sadomasochism, first  the beating occurs; next the object threatens to leave; then the sadist pleads and begs for forgiveness ;and then the object submits and remains. In essence,it’s a symbiotic relationship . One has to dominate and exploit the other with  mastery and control while the other submits to the power and abuse of her partner. In essence, both are co dependent, insecure,and terrified of being alone.They need the attachment. Although these  behaviors seem contradictory, both of these individuals lack independence,autonomy, strength and unconsciously require the irrational security provided. Caring and growth are clearly absent.

In closing, it has been suggested by Watson that love is learned. On the contrary, one can love  providing they have positive self esteem, temperament and character. Psychological and physical sickness,addictions, selfishness, sadomasochistic, and narcissism,tendencies interfere with being able to give and receive .The ability to love self , love others and capability to engage in, meaningful and purposeful work results in optimum potential for care, security,growth and satisfaction. Additionally, check out and enjoy the lyrics and music to "This Magic Moment," "Unchained Melody," "At Last," "I Will Always Love You" for smiles and pleasure. On a more sobering note, according to Kurt Vonnegut.  "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."

American Terrorists

 

Neurophysiologically, man is born helpless and is one of the most frail of all animals and yet in his quest for survival, becomes driven by passions to  torture,destroy and kill without any rational gain. This essay refers to violence and terrorism pertaining to Trump’s character , and the character of his  criminals. 

Aggression can be viewed both from an internal and external point of view .  For example, aggression can be considered playful or benign as  pertaining to sports.Recently, Gary Payton 11, was injured in a NBA playoff game and left the game with a fractured elbow.  While Peyton was in the air, on his way to making a basket, an opposing player aggressively knocked Peyton to the ground. The referee threw the opposing player out of the game for a flagrant foul 2.  The opposing player was not trying to kill, torture or destroy Peyton, nor was he going to receive any short-term gain from the act. The opposing players' motivation, in blocking the shot, was based on competitive aggression.

Psycho-dynamically , aggression is  instinctive with evidence of oral aggressiveness;  sibling rivalry, and with sadomasochism . Freud, not content, added another instinct  to more fully explain the insanity of violence, death, destruction and aggression seen in World War I. Freud postulated a drive of death called Thanatos. This drive was directed both inward and outward towards others.Freud's model depicted and described the interplay or struggle between the instincts for man's survival and for his death.

Henry Murray subsequently identified a number of man's needs.  For him, aggression was a need: "To overcome opposition forcefully.  To fight.  Revenge and injury.  To attack, injure or kill another.  To oppose forcefully or punish another. “ 

Dollard and  Miller Incorporated BF Skinner's Behavioristic model and suggested that aggression was learned. Employing rewards, punishment, ratios and concepts of extinction, they demonstrated that aggression occurred within a reinforcement schedule. Further, Albert  Bandura's research demonstrated that an individual learns to imitate aggression from a physically aggressive model . Aggression can also occur with frustration. When goal accomplishment becomes thwarted, aggression frequently follows. For example, If the goal was to reach the Capital in order to stop the peaceful transition of power and that was stymied, the likelihood of aggression followed. While attacking the capital , the rioters were confronted with barriers of fences, capitol police and locked doors.  We  saw a Capital policeman being crushed inside the door as there was frustration and violence all around. Aggression can also be seen when being trained to plan, to kill , to attack and to obey orders as in the military.  

Parental upbringing reinforces aggression with Insults of a verbal or physical nature  by father with a permissive mother. Allowing the children to express anger towards their mother and others with a punitive father results in later aggression in adulthood.How the parents react to the aggressiveness of their children becomes important. An example follows:  My friend was dating a woman with her adult children living at home. One occasion, she was at his place when her phone rang. She put it on speaker while her daughter yelled at her “ You didn’t turn the fu..ing oven off.” Permissiveness and anger was in full display as evidenced by mother-daughter interaction.  

 Trump’s armed terrorist followers didn't stop the vote count or hang Mike Pence. If the goal was to stop the transition of power and that was rewarded, more of the same can be expected.  However, if that criminal behavior led to punishment like an indictment or jail sentence, then that behavior is likely to be diminished.  Aggression can become a learned habit of attacking.  If one joins the military or the police force,aggression becomes reinforced with muscle memory practice.  Not too long ago, a police officer shot an unarmed man in the back of the head while he was the citizens back. One can argue that the attacking behavior was related to the habit of learned aggression with  positive reinforcement. In the history of policing ,police have killed for minor offenses and have received little punishment. 

On November 6, at the rally preceding the attack on the capital, the commander-in-chief gave a clear message to his unlawfully armed terrorists that already had their battle plan assignment drawn .Trump told his group to fight like hell and to take back the government. He told them to march to the capital, he loves them and he would be there too. Note, he did not command his armed crazies to stand down, at ease. leave your weapons here, protest peacefully and sing on the way “We shall overcome.”

 Briefly, destructiveness can be vengeful as a response to intense and perceived unjustified suffering inflicted by or upon Trump. The lie that the election was stolen from him,was his manipulation strategy .He wanted to solidify his fame, power and money. Vengeful destructiveness was not a defense against current physical danger. Vengefulness that was cruel, amoral was exhibited by Trump in order to take back power that he lost. There was plotting, many fraudulent attempts like going to court etc. Without justice from the courts,Trump and his cronies, out of desperation, with one last attempt planned the January 6 attack.

Trump was the commander-in-chief, and he could order his sycophants to do anything because he justified it. Legally It didn't matter. He was master in charge. The followers believed in magic,irrational and illusion that he could do no wrong even though it was against the constitutional democracy.

Trump took justice into his own hands.He even attempted to take charge of the steering wheel and choke another. It was a violent gesture. His passion for vengeance became godlike. Maybe his greatest hour was this particular vengeance because he reached a height never seen before in our country?  Likely his defense against this travesty of his own destructiveness was to use  projection. They-not I- are fraudulent, destructive, cruel and cheat.

  Briefly, this anxious, hoarder has to have money and material things. Love ,for him, is essentially a possession . He does not give love , he wants to retain it at any cost. He lies and cheats- his taxes,university, foundation etc. It is about possession. His exploitative nature is associated with pedantic orderliness. Can't touch dirt in the outer world as it threatens to break into his fortified position of orderliness. He has to keep everything in its proper place. Compulsive cleanliness is anything beyond his own frontiers that can be dangerous, as germs are examples. His narcissistic character displays anxiety, hate and hoarding . This means that even a slight damage to a fragile ego will arouse an intense craving for revenge by him. Vengeance is a persistent tendency, as evidenced by what he does to anyone not loyal. He attacks - calls them cheats, lowlife etc.His obsessive neurosis was in full view  as evidenced by those late night hateful tweets. It was his attempt ,with activity, to reduce his discomfort and dreaded anxiety.

The severely changing economic conditions in our economy has exacerbated the inability of the followers to compete and succeed in today's socioeconomic political system. Rising disparities perpetuated their reality.   One obvious way to compensate for the insecurities and threats to security and satisfaction is through education and acquiring prestigious economic opportunities. These mobsters chose military and police careers with weapons in an attempt to combat their insecurities. However, the elites, people of color, made successful strides in economic,political, sports and social advancement .This fact raised  increasing doubts about the certainty for security, privilege,domination, safety and satisfaction for Anglo-Saxon rule. Even though they were militarily trained, they suffered economic exploitation,indignity and debt because ,in part, by greedy profiters while on military bases .They were primed, anxious and  ready for combat against further government injustice. Election fraud was the excuse for violence and combat . It was simply the conscious vehicle to reduce their anxiety, insignificance and insecurity. In fact, it gave them permission to act out their anger with violence .It was an activity that masked their inadequacies.Prior, their hostility was repressed. However, with Obama and Trump ,it became fashionable to express hate,prejudice and hostility openly. Hate crimes and gun sales statistics rose by leaps and bounds.

Trump's messaging appealed to those thwarted socioeconomically. They were rapidly being left behind, unable to compete, were exploited and were hostile,jealous and envious of all  those “ undesirables “ getting ahead. Salaries of the rich and famous exploded and out of reach and they were without pride and lacked dignity for the most part except when they were associated with Trump and his cronies.They were also ambivalent regarding authority in that they followed orders, directions, chain of command while in the military and yet they acted out against the capitol police and the rule of law. With love ,hate can follow as evidenced by those loyal staffers telling the truth. More will follow

The terrorists also had similar character traits with the leader. They believed Trump when he told them that the system was rigged and fixed, in a simple language and his fooling around with other women was normal within their moral code. So, to participate in the overthrowing of the government was something permissible, as they were following orders of their leader. They could then participate in his glory by being successful ,and why wouldn't they be successful?   They believed in magic. Could the commander-in-chief  rationally overturn the election results and overthrow the government?  That's not rational at all. They followed the power of the commander-in-chief, based on their own emotional insecurity of being fearful, dependent and trained as killers. They followed his demonstrations of power. He nominated individuals to the supreme court; he withdrew from  the Iran deal; withdrew from climate change ; and cozied up to authoritarians. He demonstrated all kinds of power and he belittled( his projection of hate and hostility) against all his political and media opponents . He couldn’t  even be convicted of Impeachment.However, there were doubts. On one hand he would protect them and even pardon them for their crimes. If he was still the leader, they wouldn't have  been charged with crimes.Thus, their hostility and hate  was now  being directed inward as they faced incarceration.

 His terrorist  followers  did not critically evaluate the reality of Trump's terrorist behavior. These characters were willing to sacrifice, put up with hardships( go to jail) and do whatever it took because Trump had a right to demand their sacrifice. Trump's attitudes were incorporated by followers. His amoral conscience became  like a mirror that resulted in an irrational submission to a tyrannical Trump.  Ambivalence was also exhibited by initially being in “ love”  but now a betrayal as some of these arrested types agreed to cooperate with  prosecutors. Stay tuned ,the story is not over.  According to Hosea, "My people are destroyed by the lack of knowledge; because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee.”

Reference

Fromm, Erich.  The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness

The Infamous

 

 Statistically, there are approximately two mass shootings per day in this country. Mass shooting is defined as killing four individuals. This occurrence happens regardless of all the prayers. Eliminating  the sale of AR 15 type weapons would be a step in the right direction.  This disposition identifies  important psychological variables associated with these killers.

In the beginning,Homo sapiens are anxious, helpless and remain in this psychological state for periods of time. Newborns are totally dependent on the assistance of the caretaker for survival.  Being in this state, the newborn submits to the power, control,demands and the inconsistent quirks of that provider regardless, while seeking safety and security. This state is called being in  primary narcissism . There is total reliance and submission for survival.  Within this primary narcissism state , frustration ,conflicts,  anger occurs as a result of various and many barriers or circumstances that interfere with the meeting of one's physiological and psychological needs.

Developmentally, the process of secondary narcissism occurs with the process of individuation .With individuation, one psychologically becomes separate from the caretaker. Separation results with isolation, insecurity, powerlessness and always anxiety.  This individuation dynamic psychologically propels that individual back  to or a return to the safety and security of the caretaker to avoid the dread of anxiety-fear of being alone and separate as in separation anxiety. In other words, the pattern of being dependent, requiring assistance, and combating helplessness begins to occur  with individuation and then  returning  to the protection, safety and security of another. Also present during this psychological interplay occurs anxiety, frustration, conflict and anger. Thus, we have a lifelong repetition of dependence,relying on and submitting to another for protection along with the pursuit of individuation, and again the cycle which results in anxiety from separating and being alone.

During development, there is a dance or tug of war between being dependent and being independent. Therefore, rebelling,obstructing,fighting against the primary ties of caretaker and family occur during individuation.Then,what follows becomes a searching  for union, protection in order to escape isolation and loneliness. This occurrence gives rise to seeking the same from others like a  peer group.  Of course there are other ways to combat being alone .One can use alcohol ,take drugs,seek an ideology , identify with nature, tribe, religion,political group, sports-something to mitigate against loneliness and provide that security by belonging and defending against isolation, insignificance and powerlessness. Of course, interpersonal interactions always result in various forms of conflicts, frustration and aggression. Anger becomes either repressed and/or expressed because of fear of potential object loss. Disappointments, no matter how slight, occur with differences in perception of expectations or goals ,faulty communication, lies , betrayals, infidelity and so forth. With spousal abuse, the verbally and physically abusive male subjugates, dominates ,exploits and then pleads for forgiveness for her to take him back-the ugly head of sadomasochism and the dependency motive in full view. On the other hand, relationships are similar to quid pro quo , a give-and-take and friendship.  If I do this,you will do that. Then, this can occur, I did this for you,and you don't appreciate that, how can you ? I might have to compromise and do what you command . Of course, too much compromise , results in frustration, irritation and anger that likely gets expressed passively and/or aggressively.

The dependency submission independent drive occurrence becomes the ground floor and it is one of the most if not the most powerful dynamics during man's lifespan.  This dynamic gets played out over and over again within significant interpersonal relationships.  We find these characterizations or themes in novels, movies, poetry and especially love songs. The word love is often misinterpreted,mislabeled as the dependency or codependency need is enmeshed in that union and can become the predominant force. Couples often remain in their union primarily because of dependency which translates into the fear of  avoiding being alone. They rationalize about staying together for the children; embarrassment, failure or shame in a breakup; the financial cost, or even it's not good for one's career.  It's apparent when we see, In one instance, how an aggressive, independent dynamo interacts in the world  of work with others and then in the confines of home , much different interactions occur often characterized by passivity, submission and dependency. Of course there are many differences and variability in role reversals, duration, intensity,passive aggressiveness and control taking place between couples. 

It appears that these shooters have not developed satisfactory or quality unions with school peers. They are not popular,nor  captain of the football team or class president. Instead they are classified and identified as being loners, weird, secretive,not friendly and so forth.  The shooter's relationship with caretakers also becomes unsatisfactory with rejection, conflict, anger and aggression.  With that being said, that individual has been rejected and looks for some security and connection from any source, including anonymous social media.It’s an electronic connection -who's on the other end?  But, there seems to be some consensus, some similarities that provide  the temporary escape from loneliness and a sense of belonging. A dependency on the superficial technical device with  its diseased  messaging becomes consonant and the only option for reinforcement with contact  for these despicables. They can print about  hate, distrust , betrayal, entitlements, grievances,righteousness and  their beloved killing object possessions. Their plans , their so-called ideology,represents age old scapegoating and blaming others with no original ideas.but only primitive propaganda, myths and illusions. These others become non entities to be eliminated in  a sadistic manner.This  online occurrence contributes  and reinforces their opposition to societies ethical, moral and human values and perpetuates their negative identity formation. They can now associate with other alienated souls with their hateful attitude .With the new association, these characters have severed their primary ties as they attempt to create security, belongingness, mastery and some form of satisfaction . However, in the process, these individuals are easily manipulated and prey to anonymous messaging.  So, fulfilling dependency needs and interests are based on some peripheral form of "friendship" with a hateful, sadistic, cynical group that attacks others, not in their circle. These others are to be sadistically destroyed and murdered as they are not worthy, they are non human objects .

Within the dynamics of attempting to compensate for feelings of rejection and isolation without skepticism that results from anxiety can be and is severe. To find meaning and to solidify one's connection with these others is the attempt to find the missing security through the same.How can these sick individuals become part of, one has to silence, to remove any doubt in order to solidify with this fraternity of crazies?  To “join” they have to establish “fame,” In our society  that requires committing a sadistic massacre that turns into 24-7 TV and media coverage With that media coverage, their names are now known to their contemporaries and in the record book.  Further, their abysmal life ,for them, has gone from meaningless insignificance to being in the news.  Being in the news must mean they are celebrities of sorts .  So in order to get TV coverage and fame,all one has to do is to become a mass murderer .It doesn’t matter if the notoriety fades with the next occurring news cycle. They have achieved their goal and become another statistic, an integral part of this sickness in  our country.

With this recurring dynamic which is the design of man, having an assault weapons ban will not eliminate mass killings nor improve disturbed interpersonal relations. We've always had killing occurrences within society as the wealthy powerful continue exploiting the masses. This country cannot put a political ban on assault weapons. That fact demonstrates the power of the wealthy elites, tremendous insecurity, loneliness and the submission and worship of the gun for “ safety, security and  protection.” The gun manufacturers  pander to the evangelicals with messaging” The only way to stop the bad guy with the gun is a good guy with the gun."  And, a gun manufacturer advertises "commitment to meet each and every morning to pray for God's wisdom in managing the enormous responsibility that comes with this business."  Neurophysiologically Homo sapiens are anxious, fearful and aggressive. They seek  dependency, safety and security from others and/or groups for survival. Man’s history has revealed that providing a hateful powerless human feeling insignificant, isolated, and alone weapons, they seek and submit to a powerful force with similar qualities with consequences of destruction, sadism and murder.

Friendships

 

For the past 22 years, while residing in the foothills,  a significant part of my life experience has taken part in competing on the trails with friends.  This essay focuses on the many experiences with friends. My long-term running friend Tony is moving to Washington next week, and his upcoming departure triggered these memories.

I moved to the foothills in December, 1999 as a result of retiring and because of individuals that  had met in  Ride and  Tie .  Initially, I ran on the trail with my ride and tie partner Bob E and one of my Western States pacers Jerome B. That was followed by running with Joan G and Audrey V past Western States finishers. Jim H also ran with us and he was going to be one of my Western States pacers but died in a skiing accident prior.

I also ran and joined a ride and tie group of runners that met Wednesday evening at the Overlook in Auburn.  Tony, Chuck M , Tom C.,  Chris T. , Becky W.,and   Melissa R were regulars that met after their workday.  I preferred running in the morning and as a result I only ran with them occasionally. Within a short while, I met an attractive woman named Linda R. at the 16 mile marker on the Western States trail.I knew her earlier from the Quicksilver Ride and Tie and discovered she had moved nearby to Greenwood.  Linda was an accomplished marathoner and told me about the Western States 100.  She asked me if I was interested and I told her I was.  She was thinking about running it in 2003.  I returned home and researched the run and found out that  in two months or November there was a 50 mile Helem Klein qualifying run for the 2002 Western States 100.  Up to that point I had run one 50 K as my longest trail run.  I called Linda and told her we could train the next two months and then enter that 50 mile  qualifying run this year and run States in 2002.  She thought about it, said she hadn't run anywhere near that distance either but I told her we could do a 50 K training run to prepare us for the 50 mile qualifier and that meant there would only be an additional 19 miles.  She agreed and we began running together and attempted to qualify for the 2002 Western States run.  As it turned out we ran that Helen Klein qualifier in November 2001.  She had to run the 50 miles in about nine hours and  I was given about 30 minutes more time because of my age.  Jerome B was at the start which was helpful.  At about 25 miles or so, I developed an upset stomach.  Luckily for me ,Joan G.  was there for aid.  She walked with me and fed me ginger in order to settle my stomach.  I felt better after a while, continued running and qualified for the Western States drawing as did Linda R. The drawing was shortly thereafter and Linda attended the drawing. Instead, I ran with a bunch of ride and tie individuals and later she met  me at Chris T's home after our trail run. We talked about our excitement and upcoming run.  At  the gathering,  I asked Chuck M along with Bill J if they would be my  pacers for the run.  They agreed.  Serious training began for that June 2002 Western States event.  Prior to Western States I had Chris, a two time finisher and William E for dinner.  Chris and William recently won the Ride and Tie championship and William was one of the favorites for the Western States run.  I had planned to use my camel pack for water.  William took me to the kitchen sink and demonstrated how long it would take to fill that container and then we filled a water bottle.  He told me that time was of the essence.  I discarded my camel pack and used water bottles from then on.

Linda R.  and I ran and trained at least five days a week and we were joined by Steve R.  and Bill J as well.  Linda R, Steve R and I went to the Oakland hills to run a 50 mile race around January 2002.  As it turned out, the run was canceled but another knowledgeable runner was at the starting point.  He told us about the cancellation and joined us on that 50 mile run.  Essentially, it was the starting point  and we would run to the Lake Chabot  boat rental , get water and run back to the car for the first  25 miles and then we did it again.  In other words, we had water available at 12 1/2 miles and were able to get food at 25 miles.  These three runners were faster than when I was.  At 37 i/2 miles ,on that second turnaround, they got out ahead of me. Maybe at 40 miles or so out of sight.  It was getting dark and I knew I had at least 8-10 miles to go. I decided to stop at Redwood Road and flag down a car.  Luckily, this young man heard my sad story and agreed to drive me back to where our car was parked.  He did and Linda was relieved and really worried because one cannot run in the dark without any light.

 During that year and years following,  I ran Way Too Cool 50 K with Kevin and Diane L.,  Bill J.,  Jerome B. , Tony ,Jonathan J, Victoria O ,Rufus S and numerous pacers like Randall H. and Matt ,  In fact, in one of the 50 K’s, I developed hernia issues and was in a lot of discomfort.  Fortunately, Randall was there with me and helped me greatly.  He brought his guitar and his serenading helped dramatically. I also ran multiple AR 50 milers as well.  In fact, my grandson Alex, Tony  and Steve A accompanied me for the last 10 miles on one occasion.  I ran numerous Jed Smith 50 milers and 50 's and was accompanied by Chris T , Susan S.,  Matt and Tony.  On one Jed Smith, Tony and I met Megan A and Mark Richtman who were there to break the 50 mile record .Also there, he became the current Western States  director Craig Thornley.

Ride and  Tie partner, Jonathan Jordan from Alpine, California ,Tony, Matt and I ran an event in San Jose at Quicksilver. On another occasion, Jonathan, Tony and I stayed with Tony's sister Penny in Malibu  for a trail run. Jonathan ran with us at the Cool and Coloma’s 50 K’ as well.  In fact, Jonathan's oldest  son, Atticus once beat  us all.

Tony and I ran numerous races up and down the state over many years.  We stayed with various people such as George H in Santa Cruz. Steve  S.  In Santa Cruz, and in fact my daughters X mother-in-law Elaine R in San Leandro. We also stayed with Bill and Gwen B in San Ramon and  Pat and Mike D in Donner Lake  the night before our various runs.Tony and I stayed at Carrie B in Tiburon at  Beverlee B in Marin and a friend of Gloria J in Oakland.  Tony and I and Susan S. once joined us on a Western States training run from Forest Hill to White Oak Flat. We also ran from Green Gate to Auburn and on many Resolution Runs. After the Resolution event we showered at Sidne’s , Linda’s oldest. Tony was not available so I recruited Dennis S (Jed Smith Race Director) and Tom C for the  World’s Oldest Triathlon called Eppie's Great Race.  I ran, Tom Christofk biked and Dennis S  kayaked. I also stayed at one of Dave V.W  residences in Marin for the Double Dipsea event.

Tony and I and our dogs have run many trail miles over the years.  We used to run religiously on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays.  Then Tony started spending time in Washington, built a home there and sold his home here and moved full time to Whidbey Island.  His loss is approaching.  It's hard to put in words what and how I'm going to deal with his moving. I will miss his meaningful friendship; his keen insights; his all around assistance; his infectious laughter; and of course going to Baskin-Robbins. Tony is a true friend that I could always count on him for being there.  Thanks Tony for your availability the last 25 years.  Paul, his lady friend Dave ,Joyce, Linda and I are sending him off on a Boy voyage Sunday.  See you on Whidbey Island.

On top of that, the following are  friends that have passed : Jonathan Jordan , Tom Christofk  ,Bob Edwards,  Mark Richtman, Jeff Windenhausen ,Jim Harris , Joan and  Warren Hellman. Friends that have moved : Linda R. , Steve  A.  Matt, Randall H, Joan G ,Audrey  V ,Jerome B., Doyle E, Rick,Marty and Carrie B,  to name a few. I have been very fortunate over these last 25 years and very thankful for all the people that I encountered on my journey.  Thank you all.  The next 25 years are going to be different. Albert Einstein said, "Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value."